1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Vicious circle

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Yuukigaochi, Oct 10, 2016.

  1. Yuukigaochi

    Yuukigaochi Fapstronaut

    22
    24
    3
    Hi, I'm Yuukigaochi (call me Yuuki). I found this site today so I'm a big newbie. I never talked about it with anyone but I guess I should now. I've been fighting it for 6 years and I stopped for a while but I started with it again, like roller coaster. I was 12 when I began with that with curiosity, my friends and teachers were talking about that, but I continued with that and used self-harm to make myself stop. So I stopped with exploring my body but continued with self harm. So I started dating he was older than me, and instead of helping me he influenced me to continue with touching my body. It became like a vicious for me. I wanted to stop and so he was gone. I tried everything to stop with that but it trully became like a roller coaster and now it came bigger than me. I need help and I need someone to guide me. I'm nineteen years old and It is giving me problems with relationships and I don't have any romantic feelings anymore because of these. I need help. I hope I could find that help here, because I trully want to be free of this, I want to fall in love and not feel like a trash you no? That's my last chance I guess. Well, here I am.
     
    Hollipop and Deleted Account like this.
  2. This is my main reason for quitting porn too. I had no romantic feelings (or any feelings) but boredom all the time. And I will inform you that you will get these feelings back with time. I still don't have romantic feelings, but I await them. I'm sure you'll do fine. Good luck and if you got questions about this site just message me. I am here to help.
     
    Sam91 likes this.
  3. Yuukigaochi

    Yuukigaochi Fapstronaut

    22
    24
    3
    Well, thank you I'm glad I'm not alone here. Hope you're right and thank you again I might ask you afterall.
     
    Username1021 and Deleted Account like this.
  4. Hollipop

    Hollipop Fapstronaut

    152
    172
    43
    I cannot 100% relate to you both in the sense that I feel like I could still feel love, but I can I'm definitely familiar with the overwhelming feelings PMO brings. I wish I could count the amount of times I've found myself fantasizing about someone I know when instead I could actually be hanging out with that person, and know more about how they feel, rather than how their body feels.
    Starting is one of the biggest steps. You're all set on that part and you should be proud of it. Help is plentiful around here, be it motivation, resources, support, tips or past experiences. Most of what you feel is the same as many people here are feelings. As you already noticed from the earlier reply you received, many times the goal you have is the same as others.
    Even though you're not new to trying to quit, I should still warn that you might find difficulties you weren't expecting, depending on how you approach your recovery. Right now, the two things I believe help someone out the most in their journey are open-mindedness and patience. Be ready to change at all times. If someone isn't working, always consider new methods (doesn't mean you should doubt yourself, just re-evaluate your plans so you can tell if you're needing to change). Be aware that progress takes time. It is likely that by the time you reach the second week everything will feel the same. Fight for two more weeks and you'll see that you actually progressed a lot and you weren't noticing it. Always give it time.

    Wish you all of the best, I'll be fighting alongside you :)
     
    Username1021 and Deleted Account like this.
  5. Secondchanceatlife

    Secondchanceatlife Fapstronaut

    101
    118
    43
    The reason you became addicted to self harm and Pmo is that you have underlying issues that you need to confront. The addictions are only a side effect. If you abstain from your addictions and let the pain come to the surface, you can then deal with the underlying problems and it will help immensely in fighting your addictions, anxiety, depression, and feelings of self worth.
     
    Sam91 likes this.
  6. Yuukigaochi

    Yuukigaochi Fapstronaut

    22
    24
    3
    Thank you, I really apreciate what you're saying. I'll take up your advices, I'm sure it'll help me in real.

    You got all at the point. Thank you and yes I gotta fight many things on my inner self. Your advice surelly will help me too, thank you.
     
    Sam91 and Hollipop like this.
  7. Yuukigaochi

    Yuukigaochi Fapstronaut

    22
    24
    3
    Day 0
    Hello there, long time no talk. Wanted to say I failed on my recovery last year, I was so upset that I wasn't strong to control my body that I gave up. But this year I hope will be different because I'm tired of living like this, it's so bad and I feel my body so sick of the harm I made to it. But I discovered one thing: I wasn't taking care of my my body, I wasn't respecting it, I wasn't think of it as valuable, it was just a toy for me. I want to see myself as something more than a toy, so I will start all again till I'm able to accept and love myself.
     
  8. hardik vasant

    hardik vasant Fapstronaut

    21
    39
    13
    hey yuuki!
    i understand your situation. but let me tell you this dear everyone on this planet is here because of a reason. you are not worthless neither is your body. i don't know u and i haven't seen u before it's true but i sure will tell u this that just like everyone else u have limitless potential. there is a reason for which you are here on this planet. you have greatness within you and u r just 19 i beg u to stay put and go through the process because it's worth it. humans are capable of so much like we have created internet, satellites, rockets and much more and things like these were pipe dreams 100 years ago. you possess same mind and equal potential. tap into your positive thinking and find your greatness and if u need me i'll be there with you along the way.

    even i have suffered great losses and no my life is not perfect i am 21 m single, virgin, i went from rank holder to failing my exams 4 times, i used to be one of the best researcher in finance in my college and i stopped doing research, i watched porn once a week and it got so bad that i was doing it twice a day sometimes even more but i started taking control of my life and as u can understand being a researcher makes u less socially active but now i am socially active and doing my research as well. if i can do this so can u and i would try to help u or anyone in need along the way. DON'T GIVE UP ON YOURSELF OR YOUR LIFE
     
    Yuukigaochi likes this.
  9. Yuukigaochi

    Yuukigaochi Fapstronaut

    22
    24
    3
    Thank you and I got your points. Everything has a bright side, right? It's good to read positive words, thanks. Glad you're doing well on recovering and yes, guess this year will be different.
     
  10. Yuuki,

    THE CHANCES OF YOU BEING BORN YOU ARE 1 IN 400 TRILLION, ACT LIKE THE MIRACLE YOU ARE.

    Regardless of how difficult a time you may be going through, realize someone out there is going through more.
    Regardless of how hard you work, realize someone is working harder to make it.
    Life is fucking beautiful, even when it isn’t.
    No matter the shit hand you’re dealt, find the silver lining.
    Find the avenue in that tumultuous road to make it out better than you started.
    If you work hard, and treat people the right way good things will happen.
    I don’t care what it is you believe in; whether that be God, or karma, or aliens, working hard and treating people the right way will always have you getting to where you want to be.
    That goes for work, and relationships.

    So, since you now know you’re actually a miracle, grab a life and make it yours.
    #PeaceAndLove
     
    hej0g and Yuukigaochi like this.
  11. Yuukigaochi

    Yuukigaochi Fapstronaut

    22
    24
    3
    Ouch... Needed to read it. Thank you for saying that, it's good to read words like this. And you're right life is incredible I just need to stop closing my eyes for everything and everyone.
     
  12. Yuukigaochi

    Yuukigaochi Fapstronaut

    22
    24
    3
    So... It was one week without it. But I was fighting with my thoughts this week it was tough battle, but I won for a week. Although not today, yes for today I relapsed. It wasn't cool, however I wasn't thinking right and so I wasn't strong enough to say no. Ok, It was for today. And man one week it's victory I guess. I'll make some goals to go 2 weeks free up to now:
    1- Control my thoughts and feelings
    2- Get up earlier and wake happier
    3- Make other things that are better.
     
  13. Indeed Yuuki,
    Even a slow progress is a progress.
    Stay strong & pray.
    One day you'll be free from this slavery...
     
  14. Yuukigaochi

    Yuukigaochi Fapstronaut

    22
    24
    3
    Thank you : )
     
  15. Yuukigaochi

    Yuukigaochi Fapstronaut

    22
    24
    3
    I'd like to confess one thing. It's so hard to control my mind and stop fantasizing about sex. Whenever I go, whenever I start imagining it, with a man I have a crush on or I don't know who or even girls. And it's hard and disgusting, because I wish could control but I just can't, my mind is hurt and dirty. Oh my gosh... I don't why I have to do it and worse of all my body respond to it, my body wants this. I wish I could control my mind and stop it.
     
  16. D . J .

    D . J . Fapstronaut

    Welcome to NoFap where you are amongst friends who are here to encourage you and sometimes challenge you but not judge you.

    The enemy is here to steal, kill and destroy. What are your current strategies for combating the enemy called PMO?
     
  17. Yuuki,
    The more you think about that, the more your mind will play tricks with you & make you submit.
    Better to avoid that kind of imagination.
    Focus on your goal and try to let go all emotions.
    I'm not saying that it'll be easy but it's worth to do.

    Have faith in yourself & believe from the heart that you can do it.

    Check this link about The skill of self confidence:



    Your body will do as you think.
    In other words, You get what you focus on.
    For example, when you're in bad mood, you feel like everything is in your life is going against you(i.e. negativity, you focus on negativity, you get).
    Same thing when you feel good, everything you do on that day, you feel good & experience happiness with a beautiful smile. That's it, you get what you focus on(Law of Attraction).

    [​IMG]
     

Share This Page