8 Days and counting

Firstly, this little doohicky:
Okay that makes sense. They don't want any random Joe posting links. I get that but it's from Time and Date. 688641 seconds at the time of hitting post.

That's what I've tried using over the years to time my progress. So far, I'm 191 hours in and am still going strong it seems. Making it even a week has been seemingly impossible or an incredibly rare feat.

I don't know if it's appropriate to go into detail as to what dark corners I invite myself into to stir up such sexual feelings, but I will say that I came to a breaking point over 8 days ago, I was at a point where I was so addicted and so desperate for feeling that I had started to cause some intense pain not only to my groin but to my hand/wrist. At first, it seemed to be my imagination what was happening to my wrist, but I started to realize this intense tingling/numbing feeling.

I was doing something seriously wrong to it--wrong beyond too much Heroes of the Storm pain wrong. It was time to stop I figured. It wasn't the first time I had hurt my wrist doing this, but I felt it should be the last. I thought I had recovered by now at the time of typing this, but this strange surge of pain is now in my left wrist. Hopefully I didn't damage anything.

My yoga techniques do not seem to be solving it quite yet, so perhaps more time is needed, but what I can say is that the power of choice is there for us all. I've made it this week, and feel I can never go back to it, no matter how desperate.

There were a few times this week I faulted a bit, two on this private stranger chat site where some sexting was done and once, (kind of) while watching this short fiction series on witchcraft returning to England, where there were these naked slaves. I don't know why it wasn't rated mature for that, as my settings on Netflix are set to Teen to avoid such material in the first place, but it wasn't a sexual seen, and I managed to keep my hand off myself.

So I'd call this a win at least for the first week!

I understand this is a secular success page, and I respect that, but I would say though that I thank my current success to my gospel related choices, and I would end with this one mostly quoted message:

Never go back to the things that draw you in to fapping or porn. That's how clever the brain is for its reward. One synapse to the next, you can be lead to a point where you rationalize that it's okay now to fap and see porn, because that primal, older part of your brain was allowed power by what you decided.

Shields up. Weapons online.

-lykos