RESULTS OF OVERTHINKING

I would like to start this note off on a good note, i am 12 days in my streak,i feel strong and confident about never going back to PMO. I am also glad that after last night that i didnt give in to what would have been a trigger.

So last night i went out with a couple friends to a bar downtown. The bar was ok, a lot of women. I wouldnt say i was drunk but i had a little buzz (i stuvk within my budget which im happy about), i was a little high as well (weed, not sure what kinda strand).

While in this bar, maybe it was the weed, but i found it hard to speak with women. Anxious, maybe little overwhelmed, or maybe i was just thinking about it too much. I ended up loosening up later on in the night, i talked to one girl, never got her number. I keep hearing from people that i should be more aggressive, at work, from my ex, from my friends, maybe i lack the confidence.

What i concluded at the end of the night, hearing my friends stories of the girls they picked up and there experience and i have a feeling of regret. The worst kind of regret, the regret of not trying. I realize that it was all in my head, it always is. I either want it to be perfect and think about the best line to start off with or think too much about a future with them. I think myself into thought paralysis and dont take any action. I hear everyone likes me more when i drink as im a lot more social, alcohol turns off filters ao im less in my head. I want that liquid confidence without the liquid.

I know i can do it as i have had moments of great success but i guess in my mind all i think about is the negative thoughts. I want to be able to just take action without doing the advanced mathematics in my head. I see women stare into eyes with the look of them calling me over with there eyes and i rarley act on it. I read somewhere that i should fear the regret of not taking action more then the initial fear of rejection. It is true, of i tried id at least know i tried, not trying leaves the question of what would have happen and what would be happening now.