Home Alone Success

The wife and kids went out of town yesterday. I had 24 hours at home alone left to my own to do what I wanted. If this was 70 days ago, I would have indulged in a selfish session of PMO. Hours upon hours in front of a computer, doing nothing productive and left with the guilt and shame of my behavior. But this time was different. Instead of looking forward to the time as a time to have free reign to my addiction, I looked forward to the challenge. Yes I was concerned as this was my first big test since my reboot. But I had a plan. Use the time wisely, church, work, catch up on a couple of TV series, small group, sleep, then work the next day. Oh yeah, and knowing and telling myself success is what I was after, failure not an option. I kept remembering how far I have come, and how I was so close to 90 days.

Yes I did have thoughts that tried to rear their heads, But the desire I normally had. The overwhelming almost unstoppable pull to the computer and to sites, was not there. And I kept focusing on my goal. I kept focusing on the surprise trip/evening to celebrate with my wife and be reunited with her in intimacy that I have planned in July. I got excited and giddy thinking about this trip. Almost like I was a virgin again. See we haven't had sex since November of last year or been intimate since December. And now, I get to experience her again in a little over a month anew again. It is exciting. We didn't abstain when we dated, and so our wedding night wasn't what it was supposed to be, but now, yes 17 years later, it will be as close to what it should have been, as long as I stay focused and not give in. I can't wait......

 

If you aren't fighting, you aren't in the battle!

 

You are so right, it was just round 1. I have to keep my hands up and be ready for the sucker punch temptation to come my way!

 

Congratulations on reaching your goal! Now set another one to conquer!

 

Amazing how I used to look at this! The relief was a great thing, nice to not have to dodge questions of "So what did you do while we were gone?" It is a great empowering feeling to stand before her head up with nothing to hide and no lies to tell

 

The lack of shame is a great great motivator! What an excellent streak you have going yourself volt2187!! Awesome success!

 

Thank You! Keep at it and you can have that feeling too! The confidence and being shame free is so nice!