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edging, does anyone have any tips to not?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by phillipup, May 30, 2016.

  1. phillipup

    phillipup Fapstronaut

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    I go a week without porn then loko at pictures and then I edge and then the relapse is imminent.

    Does anybody have a method or anything to do after the week is up and i start to move closer to relapsing?

    thanks, all question welcome.
     
    Nathaniel Turner likes this.
  2. TheStand

    TheStand Fapstronaut

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    As soon as you get the urge, go do something else. I use to go to the toilet to take a dump with my phone and then eventually relapse, if that's the case for you, don't take your phone to the toilet maybe? If it is something else, just try to drop whatever you're doing (if what you're doing has triggers) and do something else, easier said that done.

    You might not be religious, but I'll leave it here anyway.

    1 Corinthians 1:13 (NLT)
    13)The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.

    If you're not religious, then just distract yourself with something else, go talk to someone about anything, but if you're home alone, call someone if you can.

    If you do it in the shower, when an urge comes, try singing your favorite song or try to make a beat by hitting the walls in a rhythm or something. Just tell yourself how horrible you will feel if you do it. Everyday try to go to a mirror alone, and tell yourself things like; I WILL overcome this, or; I HAVE overcome this. Tell yourself encouraging and positive things, you mind will take that and apply it to your lifestyle. Like if you tell yourself; I AM confident, then your brain will process it and apply it to your thinking and your lifestyle, and you will see yourself being more confident just like that. The mind is powerful. And remember, try not to tell yourself things that contain No or Not, like; I will NOT look at porn, your brain then processes it as; I Will look at porn. Your brain doesn't process negatives very well. Good luck, stay strong.
     
  3. The only full proof way to not edge is to not touch at all. More than likely, if you touch, you will keep pushing the limits. I agree with what TheStand says, and what has really helped me is to engage in a imaginary battle with yourself. Porn and MO on one side and the warrior, which is you on the other and be determined to beat them. Men naturally feel more confident by winning battles, even imaginary ones. Silly, but has always worked for me. There is a Christian based book that is awesome for this called "The Battlefield of the Mind" by Joyce Meyer. You don't have to be a Christian to benefit from it, but her point is that we are constantly in a war with our mind, bad thoughts vs good thoughts.
     
    Ben Jamin' and TheStand like this.
  4. melancholy king

    melancholy king Fapstronaut

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    Just as a last case scenario, if you are one of those people that edges on and on until you find the right thing you want to orgasm to, then instead just let yourself finish as soon as possible, essentially making the best out of a bad situation.

    Of course it is best to never get there to begin with, but still, hope it helps.
     
    rave756, Ben Jamin' and phillipup like this.
  5. phillipup

    phillipup Fapstronaut

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    Wise words indeed, I was just reading about the power of autosuggestion, positive affirmations and control the mind to overcome urges of the body then to log on to here and read that was a great experience. The reference to creating a distraction to the habit is smart though and you're right, there are definitely triggers. It's funny as soon as you mentioned I knew what they were but previous to that I hadn't even considered such a thing, perhaps self deceit but regardless I know now.

    Appreciate the bible reference, while not attached to a particular religion I have a developing understanding about where I am spiritually and the bible is filled with life aiding anecdotes and strong directions. Thank you for an incredibly informative and useful post.
     
    Ben Jamin' likes this.
  6. phillipup

    phillipup Fapstronaut

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    Agreed, it is developing the metal steel to make that absolute is where my focus is now. Thank you for the book recommendation, I just googled it and on the cover there is chess pieces which is something I enjoy and certainly acts as a reason to read for me. I read something interesting about the duality of the mind, how negative thoughts come from the self attacking ego and positivity comes from a more inspirational god like source, it is learning how to train the mind to see things through the positive perception and how to see the good in or through the bad moments. For me this is particularly true with why we are all here.

    The tagline on the google page for the book...

    'Thoughts are powerful, and according to the writer of the book of Proverbs, they have creative ability.'

    I am 100% in sync with this notion, there is a speak called abraham hicks which has been very useful in my journey who really talks about the creative ability of the mind, genuinely most things I am interested in I type that word and Abraham Hicks into google and there is some information about it. Hope it helps
     
  7. phillipup

    phillipup Fapstronaut

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    I am one of those people and that is probably the most effective and pragmatic solution to nipping it in the bud. Big respect, best case scenario is I don't need to use it but say it does start to happen this has got to be the most effective method to keep it contained. I've spent hours edging in the past.

    With the three responses here I've been able to make a solid plan towards what's making me edge and lead into relapse. I'll spend a few days putting it into practice and if it's met with success I'll post it on here.

    Thank you.
     
  8. Ben Jamin'

    Ben Jamin' Fapstronaut

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    You already did the first step: identifying that at around 10 days you start to have trouble. I would suggest limiting internet access as much as possible during days 10-13. Then you will be over the hard part.

    I wish you success.
     
  9. TheStand

    TheStand Fapstronaut

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    Haha, you're welcome.

    My goal here is to share my knowledge and help people overcome their addictions, I myself fall sometimes, but I learn from my experience every time, while some people just don't get it.

    As for the Bible reference, it has helped me personally so I just wanted to share it. I believe it's not about religion, but about a relationship with God.
     

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