Relationship Rescue

Yep, that's pretty right on the money. I came across that web page pretty early on after hubby's PMO disclosure and showed it to him. I can definitely see how the "He" in that scenario would feel some degree of relief in coming clean....carrying around such a heavy burden would weigh anyone down. But in doing so that burden gets passed on to us partners, who (at least in my case) were completely blindsided by it. The pain, betrayal, lack of trust...it's enough to make my head spin.

 

I'm glad. It helped give me perspective too...*hugs* Anything that helps give perspective or some brief respite from the emotional rollercoaster is good in my book.

 

Yup, this describes the scenario pretty accurately. The only thing it didn't mention are the intense waves of emotion that blindside you....suddenly remembering how you were an unwitting victim to this lifestyle. Realizing how well your SO lied to you for so long and realizing the reality that you may have no idea when and if he lies again in the future.

We hear again and again that you will never be 100% in control of your own life. That even control freaks have to admit that there is very little in life that they are actually in control of. The moment you loosen the reins and admit that you're on a journey of ups and downs and just try to enjoy the adventure of it all, that is the moment when you stop blaming yourself for not having 20/20 vision (as only someone reflecting on the past can have) and realizing in the moment what was really going down. (Stopping that internal dialogue of "I should have known! How did I not see this?! What is wrong with me that I didn't see this was happening under my nose the whole time?!")

We can only be responsible for how we react to life. The only thing we're REALLY in control of is our own attitude and the way we respond to life. We can't be responsible for decisions our SO makes. We can't let ourselves feel responsible for choosing someone that treated us like this. For believing their lies in good faith....

We can only stand up for our own personal truths and decide whether we are up for this journey with them....to discover who they really are without all the toxic sludge permeating their minds. And discovering the kind of couple we could be without the mental disease of PMO infecting everything.

When I stop blaming, then I can start to empathisize and feel love. But knowing the battle ahead sure helps!

 

This makes all crazy kinds of sense. How do I help?

 

Oh good I'm not going crazy! Now any suggestions on how to stop the crazy?

 

For the crazy.. I come on here and realise that I am not alone .. I'm not the only one hurt by this addiction .. Although I am alone.. I am not alone ..

 

Just WOW!