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Relapse - Edging started the slide

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Markguy, Apr 21, 2014.

  1. Apr 21, 2014 #1
    Markguy

    Markguy Fapstronaut

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    After 25 days, I had a relapse. Before nofap, my best was 4 days, so very grateful for progress and the supportive community. My downfall was edging. I went 23 days without viewing any porn or arousing content. But I made a series of rationalizations to view some light porn without M or O.

    I found it's true what others have said about the dangers of edging. Once I had viewed P, the craving to keep viewing and PMO skyrocketed again and it became an intense constant struggle. After 2 days I gave in. I have to remind myself that viewing any porn or stimulating content is playing with fire. I wish I wasn't so affected, but my brain is addicted and I just can't go there.

    Wishing everyone here healing and peace on your journey.
     
    Last edited: Apr 21, 2014
    Markguy, Apr 21, 2014
    Markguy, Apr 21, 2014
    #1
  2. Apr 22, 2014 #2
    Shai_Halud

    Shai_Halud Fapstronaut

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    EVERY ONE of my relapses starts with rationalized edging. Its much harder than it seems to block it out. I don't even use porn, just pictures that ride in on Facebook, that's all it takes. I'm a few days into this streak but the edging is getting to me.
     
    Shai_Halud, Apr 22, 2014
    Shai_Halud, Apr 22, 2014
    #2
  3. Apr 22, 2014 #3
    AshD16

    AshD16 Fapstronaut

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    I have the same experiences. After 78 days free from PMO, I relapsed. It all started with edging and just touching myself which got me even further than I wanted to go. But at the same time, I'm thankful for my relapse as I can learn more lessons and learn more about myself and my behavior in a way. Wish you the best for your recovery!
     
    AshD16, Apr 22, 2014
    AshD16, Apr 22, 2014
    #3
  4. Apr 23, 2014 #4
    ladyamarant

    ladyamarant Fapstronaut

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    Had a relapse after 20 days and it sucks . Ive been tired from work that's why . . I really hope I can get thru this sigh
     
    ladyamarant, Apr 23, 2014
    ladyamarant, Apr 23, 2014
    #4
  5. Apr 23, 2014 #5
    Markguy

    Markguy Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for the responses!
    @Shai - FB and everyday pictures can be really triggering for me too.
    @Ash - Great attitude about using relapse as a way to learn!
    @ladyamarant - yep, it sucks, but just keep going and you'll make it back to 20+.
     
    Markguy, Apr 23, 2014
    Markguy, Apr 23, 2014
    #5
  6. Apr 24, 2014 #6
    JoelJJ777

    JoelJJ777 Fapstronaut

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    I have relapse so many times in the past that I have been able to gradually get to know me better and know the things that trigger me. So, so far this are the things that could trigger unwanted behavior on me:

    -Youtube videos
    -Google Images
    -Bing images
    -Pornstar names (Causes flashbacks)
    -Many TV shows/movies (I avoid watching TV for that reason because I don't know when I'm going to watch something I don't want to. The only control I have over it is to not watch it at all.)
    -Dubstep music (as some songs may have triggering images as artwork)
    -Internet ads (which is why I installed AdBlock Plus extension on Google Chrome. It works like a charm)

    I'll keep an eye out for the triggers and avoid them. I think this is crucial if you want to make it through.
     
    JoelJJ777, Apr 24, 2014
    JoelJJ777, Apr 24, 2014
    #6

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