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Almost got caught out there now

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by BiffTannen32ford, Apr 13, 2016.

  1. BiffTannen32ford

    BiffTannen32ford Fapstronaut

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    I'm on here posting to distract me from a sudden urge I've just had and near followed through with.
    I'm on day 32 and my urges haven't been too bad, but I started thinking about a women I met in a bar about a month ago who was all into me but of course I wasn't able to take her home to face the embarrassment of likely ED. Anyway I indulged a bit there, not really edging but a few strokes and simulating the motions of sex on top of my bed.
    Ive been thinking I'm having no problems dispelling urges and I haven't had any desire to PMO in weeks, just MO to some real girls a few times. Just now though when I was on the bed doing the motions like a saddo, my brain said 'fuck it, you might as well stick the porn on now and go back to what you love'
    Had to jump off the bed and catch myself on. Have blue balls now though lol.
    Anybody else have close calls like this?
    It really helps being on these sites
     
    volt2187 likes this.
  2. BiffTannen32ford

    BiffTannen32ford Fapstronaut

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    I suppose there's more to it, I was at a training course today through work and I had an 'extended eye contact' with a girl who was sitting at other side of the room, this was followed by glances throughout the day and catching her looking at me a few times.
    Then at lunch in the canteen, I was walking past tables towards the food counter and a sexy blonde girl was watching me the whole way but I pussied out, there was a big crowd in the place and I got the anxiety head on.
    It's bad for me because I'm 6'3 with broad shoulders and a shaved head, supposedly manly at first glance but a big ninny upon further observance lol.
    I don't know if today's events led to the urge tonight
     
  3. Just take it easy. Don't relapse or you'll be suffering from chaser effect.
     
  4. Ikindaknew

    Ikindaknew Fapstronaut

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    heal yourself first before putting yourself on the market again. Cure your ED, reset, get rid of the sex ideas, it makes you suffer. Be ready for real sex one day when your manhood is ready.
    It will come.
     
  5. BiffTannen32ford

    BiffTannen32ford Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I'm trying to remain in monk mode as it's called, I hate going into department stores etc now as there's always an abundance of good looking women. Hated them before due to anxiety but liked the women part for potential fap material. It's terrible saying it lol
    Thanks for the comments
     
  6. Worthyofstanding2

    Worthyofstanding2 Fapstronaut

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    You're not a ninny for being scared of talking to girls literally most men and boys are also, if you wanna ask or talk to one it's ok to be scared and it's ok to avoid it but if you want to go out with a girl while still doing nofap I think it will be okay for you and you can obviously do it, it just takes time and courage (which you obviously have)
     
    BiffTannen32ford likes this.
  7. volt2187

    volt2187 Guest

    Welcome to the club my friend! I know that exact same feeling, and what really has helped me is to focus on eliminating the porn first and foremost. That's where all my sexual thoughts have come from, so then naturally when there is no porn in my life, the next thing to come to my mind is the thoughts about co-workers or friends. I can tell you as someone who did it for years, alongside with pmoing, those thoughts do slowly go away, as long as you don't entertain them. Like anything the longer you abstain the easier it is to forget about it completely, though these thoughts are likely to stick around in some fashion. It does get easier though. Now that I have removed porn from my life my focus is on removing the thoughts and MOing and every day it gets better and better for me.

    Just hang in there and know it gets better!!!
     
    BiffTannen32ford likes this.

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