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From a whore to the purest woman I could be

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by berna.leex, Apr 1, 2016.

  1. berna.leex

    berna.leex New Fapstronaut

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    Well yep I want to say now I was a whore, a dirty, manipulative, addicted, self centered bitch, horniest bitch ever BUT I don't want to where I was.

    Abstained 11 days butfailed so here again. Monk mode. No pmo or lustful thoughts.

    Let's do this!

    Update on me: been spending time on coffee shops studying Korean language, preparing for grad school in fall, started hiking again and hopefully biking and running.

    How about you?
     
    Leanne and HitB like this.
  2. HitB

    HitB Fapstronaut

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    I'm surprised no one has replied to you yet.

    It is good to hear that you are seeking to better yourself. That is always a noble cause. Keep pursuing that goal and you will be successful!

    Oh, and if I've learned anything, it's that you shouldn't beat yourself up for "failures." Obviously don't make them a habit, but give yourself some credit for how far you've come. Focus on the positive.

    Eleven days is good! But I know you can do better...

    Good luck! :)
     
    Dizzy Lotus likes this.
  3. Kristen

    Kristen Guest

    Sounds like me right now haha
     
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  4. HitB

    HitB Fapstronaut

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    Keep pushing forward! And very profound profile pic. I like it!
     
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  5. Gladiatori

    Gladiatori Fapstronaut

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    Firstly, don't call yourself a bitch. Perhaps that is the first thing. Women are much more than just for sex. Learn to develop your worth other that sexual crap. Good men, we are always interested in woman personality, as well as looks :D. Theres too many piece of shit usless men right now. They give u attention only if one thing... correct. Well fuck that. I say those are trashmen.. I have had fights IRL cause of this trash, and I will continue to do so. Be who you are, not who society says women ought to be. Cheers.
     
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  6. Worthyofstanding2

    Worthyofstanding2 Fapstronaut

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    Just because you masturbated doesn't mean you're a self centred bitch it just means your human just start again if you want to, with all the stuff your doing studying Korean language, preparing for grad school etc... You shouldn't be shaming yourself so much, no one's perfect.
     
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  7. diamondboi

    diamondboi Banned

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    You like every other man is libido driven. Almost everything we do including NOFAP is in relation to sex, and women. No surprise?

    A man who just wants sex is an honest man who isn't deceiving other people for their true intentions with a women.

    I choose not to be naive, and can admit that almost everything we do for women is for sexual exchange.
     
    himmelstoss likes this.
  8. kk76

    kk76 Fapstronaut

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    Again I echo the sentiment of being loving and kind to yourself. You have not failed.

    Imagine you drive, you have a car and a licence and you do OK but one day you have a crash, you weren't paying attention and you struck a lamp post. Does that make you a failure as a driver? Will you sell the car and burn your licence and think this is impossible. Will you feel shitty for days on end and call yourself names and keep on beating yourself up over a mistake, an error, a lack of concentration?
     
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  9. Kristen

    Kristen Guest

    Hey want to be accountability partners? U sound alot like how i am. And it be nice to find someone to.relate to..haha...also I.study the korean language haha
     
  10. Dizzy Lotus

    Dizzy Lotus Fapstronaut

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    What do you mean with 'we'?
     
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  11. Gladiatori

    Gladiatori Fapstronaut

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    @diamondboi
    K... Sex drive definitely motivates men to get shit done, I know it did for me.. but its not so simple. The question is this: why do we men have this insatiable desire? Is it for procreation, or is it to build a family? Or still, never mind the intercourse. Sex energy can be used for building many things in this world.

    I hate what you say. "Everything we do for women is for sexual exchange." This means then, women are for only sex... If men think this about women, then why do they dress like sluts? and give easy sex? Because women follows, men leads. If men want this standard of women, then women will do it. The problem here is this trash mentality, and destruction of the family due to it!

    Women are for more than just sex... Our grandfathers used to think of women much differently. And women gave sex much more difficultly. Why? Cause of the function of sex... for procreation. Which is what each woman really wants. They just get damaged really early and get fucked up.

    And u call me naive...
     
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  12. HitB

    HitB Fapstronaut

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    I strongly disagree. And I only slightly disagree with @Gladiatori. I don't think that men lead and women follow. I believe each individual leads him or herself. Sometimes coersion and harsh circumstances come into play and make decisions seem forced, but in the end, we all lead our own lives and are responsible for our own actions, whether it feels like it or not.

    In my opinion, not all actions are done for sex. To me, this is complete ludicrous. I will start with obvious examples and then delve into it further.

    As a child, did you act based on a drive for sex? No?

    But perhaps you do not include boys in the equation...okay. Fair enough.

    Do men do things for young girls in exchange for sex or sexual favors? What about for women far advanced in age? No. Of course not. If they do, then they are the deviant and not the norm.

    Sometimes things are complicated by sexual attraction when we are of similar age to the person of the opposite sex. But not all our actions towards them are sexually driven. Many times, like in the case of the young girl or old woman, it is for community building and fellowship. We desire relationship, not sex. Sometimes these can be confused with one another. And if you still do not understand, let me explain. Think about worthwhile interactions you've had with members of the opposite sex. Was it simply good because of the sex? Or was it fulfilling because of simply being with another person, to have your life touch that of another?

    The strongest example I would have would be a man who has lost his genitalia, for whatever reason. Can he no longer act? Is he a vegetable? Is there no reason to interact with the opposite sex? What reason is there to interact with anyone? His intentions are boiled down to their purest form...he desires community. He desires to interact with others because he is a part of the human race. He wants to belong and be accepted. It has nothing to do with sex.

    And this may blow your mind:
    I, for one, would much rather have a meaningful, purely platonic relationship with a female than a shallow, sex-filled one.

    I'm actually surprised that someone on NoFap is stating that all actions are sex-driven. Most people that go through this program seem to have the revelation that things are NOT all sex-driven. Once you learn that you can go through life without PMO, then obviously P, M, or O is not the end goal of life.

    Please don't generalize your view to all men and put us in a box. Your projection of your own feelings and drives onto others has obviously shaped your worldview. We are not all the same. And the world is not that simple.

    As always, my comments are simply my opinion; nothing more, nothing less. You are more than welcome to disagree. But then I'm afraid we will have to agree to disagree.
     
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  13. Dizzy Lotus

    Dizzy Lotus Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for phrasing my opinion and experience better than I would be able to do myself [​IMG]
     
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  14. HitB

    HitB Fapstronaut

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    No problem! I'm sure you would have phrased it just fine :)
     
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  15. Gladiatori

    Gladiatori Fapstronaut

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    @HitB It's okay... He can have his opinion HITB. It isn't right to squelch a person because of they have a dissident view.
     
  16. Dizzy Lotus

    Dizzy Lotus Fapstronaut

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    Oh, he didn't 'squelch' him, he just told him why he disagreed. See, what I didn't like is how diamondboi said "almost everything we do". I felt like he was putting words into my mouth that weren't true for me at all.
     
  17. HitB

    HitB Fapstronaut

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    I was only stating my viewpoint and why I believe it to be true. That's why I wrote the "This is only opinion" disclaimer at the bottom.

    There was no intention to squelch. I apologize if anyone feels squelched!

    @berna.leex I will stop spamming your thread now :). I hope that you are doing well and that you are finding success in your studies and physical pursuits! This would be what...Day 7 for you? Keep it up!
     
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  18. Gladiatori

    Gladiatori Fapstronaut

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    @HitB .. that was for diamondboi, not you.
     
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  19. Gladiatori

    Gladiatori Fapstronaut

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    @Dizzy Lotus Whatever u wanna say, the effort was to tell him not to say his view because someone didn't like it.. TO me this is lol.... Much better to fight in the open, get it done with. Rather than just be repressed.

    Conflict can be good u know.
     
    Leanne likes this.
  20. Leanne

    Leanne Fapstronaut

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    I'm glad you're going the right direction with doing other things to be active!
    How have you been lately?
    I agree with a lot of people here though. Don't call yourself a bitch or a whore - I feel that way sometimes (honestly, even now...) but seeing it from other women makes me so sad (and makes me realize that I should not think that way either)
    I don't know if you're religious or not, but I heard this one YouTube talk by a woman, Lisa Bevere, and she was talking about sexual purity. One thing that stood out was that she said that people who are sexually acting out/"impure" is an equivalent to a child waking up with a nightmare! The child needs to be comforted by their guardian: Their guardian does not sit there with the child, telling the child is stupid or telling the child all the rules to avoid this nightmare. No! The guardian speaks tenderly to the child, singing lullabies, telling bed time stories, gives the crying child a hug, etc.
    I encourage you, whether you're religious or not, to take this metaphor to heart. Think of yourself as a little girl, asking for help here. And we will try to be of help!
    I wish you the best!
     

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