Objectifying women to fufill your sexual fantasies

I'm not what I'd call a "looker." But yes, I'm guilty of just what you are talking about. It is pathetic behavior. I went through a breakup recently. And I just thought I needed to put my dick in something to make me feel better. I'm glad I didnt (even though I tried). I wanted a sex toy. I realize what is real. I had forgotten that. I was in pain. And I wasnt dealing with it.

 

I half agree with your statement on refusing personal relationships. Meeting up with new people or people who you have 'recently' met opposed to known for a long time certainly demands your attention of amending your flawed outlook. Someone that you know (even if it's a ex, though i wouldn't recommend that territory) would be easier to explain and express to.

Being in a valuable relationship and seeing how much meaningful intimacy means to both of you can help liberate you from these detached desires.

Having a personal interest (/fetish) isn't a totally bad thing, as long as you're both comfortable with it, and as you describe, it isn't a sexual fantasy (&/or overtly deviant on he borders of being harmful) that is detached from reality and forces you to pursue in order to fufill it.

 

No need for me to lecture you again about what you did to this poor lady.

You appear to have learned from this experience. Do what you can to get porn out of your life. Porn is overwhelming the nice guy @Endgoals .

You may have lost an opportunity at a relationship with someone who fell for you. But you know what porn did to you and her.

Someone will fall for you again. Next time the porn free/nice you will be responding.

Good luck. We're here to give you our full support and encouragement.

 

There's a lesson to be learned.

I'm not critical of you. This addiction warps your thinking and behaviour.

Get some time served. Get yourself well.

Then I would apologise to her and take it on the chin what she says. Your behaviour hurt her and she is sore.

Please be careful giving yourself grief over this. It may push you into more behaviours.

 

@Endgoals ,
You analyzed things right. Don't do it again.
The problems with the fetish stuff and all the porn is that it rarely translate into something great in the bedroom. Especially when you are dating a new girl!
Have yourself a nice brain reboot. Forget about the porn, the fetishes, the masturbation, etc...

Try to concentrate on sanitizing your thoughts. You could have met the women of your life and you brought the nasties in the bedroom...not the best way to make a good impression. Like @kk76 mentioned, an sincere apology to her would be nice. Any chances to redeem yourself?

Trust me, I like lingerie feet and stuff. These fetishes are possible triggers to relapse for me. I just closed the door on this. Also, you seem to describe that your way to O is a masturbation technique of yours (position). Are you desensitized? A deathgripper? someone that contracts all legs muscles to O?
Because if you want to enjoy real sex in a more mainstream way (some call it vanilla sex), you have to re-learn how to O without the "ritual"...

I understand the difficulties of being single and have the will to met girls. I'm not against guys having fun dating and stuff, but I prefer to meet a girl to stay with her, to have a life partner. A serious steady relationship. That's why I'm married I guess.

If you are sincere and have something to give, try to find the woman of your life. You can have better sex with a life partner, as you don't have to play a game. If your partner ask you what you like sexually and she's willing to please you on some stuff, well thats fine, as long as it doesn't make her feel bad about it.