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How do you avoid porn?

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by ukmercenary, Sep 7, 2014.

  1. ukmercenary

    ukmercenary Fapstronaut

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    I think ive been addicted to porn since I was about 15 when my brother showed me a porn site. Im 35 now and still am I find it almost impossible to stay off porn sites and sites like omegle. I almost feel I have to have a fap to feel normal or I get really angry with people. When im stressed I do it to. I guess Im a bit angry as I can't get a g/f at the moment. I have read the game and listened to RSD Blueprint and they have helped alot. I went on a date with a beautiful English blonde earlier this year and everytime I see a blonde girl in town I think its her. I guess now I haves set my self a goal post and don't want to approach anything less than her.

    The problem is when you fap you loose all interest in women its part of the reason why ive been single so long. Im seriously thinking about quitting my job and going traveling at this rate working 9 - 5 in an IT support role with a bunch of geeks is very depressing.

    Anyway how do you let avoid fapping particularly when you have been out talking to seing hot girls all day and got your self all fustrated..
     
  2. jmark

    jmark Banned

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    I'm not trying to be glib here, but Benedick's advice to the Prince holds true here: get thee a wife!
     
  3. hopepeacelove

    hopepeacelove Fapstronaut

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    I think you should start counting your blessings instead of complain about life. When you are happier it's much easier to quit PMO. Consider the moral perspective of pornography: objectifying women in your mind, degrading her because you're fantasising about having sex with her in your mind, without her consent. In my opinion that is disrespectful & lewd. I didn't use to realize this until i did some deep reflection and realized i would never think about a girl i truly liked that way because she meant too much to me. After some time according to others who have abstained from PMO for a few months, they start becoming more proactive because they aren't given any choice to get a girl unlike those who still indulge in porn. Best of Luck I'm still Trying too.
     
  4. Weiland

    Weiland Fapstronaut

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    Actually, I think I hit on something here that might give you some insight. It helped my perspective.

    I generally avoid pornography because, at this point in my life, I can look back and realize what I've lost and how much it has affected me and held me back. A new perspective on the value of women and the destructive nature of pornography, combined with the fact that I'm getting married in a month I have no time to waste cleaning the garbage out of heart and mind, are all factors that help.

    When I'm turned on for literally no apparent reason and I think, "I reeeally want to get off," I also understand that no matter how bad the temptation is, it cannot compare to the cumulative weight of everything I've got on my plate. I can't ignore reality anymore. The truth really does set you free.
     
    WifeInTheDark likes this.
  5. Yada91

    Yada91 Fapstronaut

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    So far I can say the most effective methods for myself are Breathing when I'm anxious. Shaking my head when I get an intrusive thoght/fasntasy/urge and Shadow Boxing when I'm bored.

    That said I think the most vital thing for me is overcoming my fear of Social anxiety and fear of judgement. Remember nobody has to know about what you were or the journey you're going through, just act casual and be cool remember nobody at work or at the gym or whatever gives 2 monkeys about you're personal problems so just try and relax and stop that brain from going into overdrive.
     
  6. Finalfight123

    Finalfight123 Fapstronaut

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    Honestly build your life. Don't focus on quitting porn focus on building your new life. Focus on doing other things. Focus on yourself really and tell your self that it isn't an option that. You should avoid environments that you normally do things in and heck leave your house get out there see the real world for whats its worth. I mean thats what porn is its just looking at electronics and using it as a substitute for the real thing. But the real thing is way better but not something to rush into.

    Honestly getting a wife won't solve anything in my opinion. Because its not sex you crave with porn its the highs and lows. I think its great that marriage helped you but no I don't agree at all that its the anwser and in fact many people on this site have partners so no. And anyway you would just bring your problem into the marriage and now your wife would have to deal with it and I believe you should try to solve this problem on your own not put it onto someone else.
     
  7. ukmercenary

    ukmercenary Fapstronaut

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    Thanks alot guys sorry for the slow reply I do agree with it's about trying to improve my self.
    I have joined a local running club and enter races however I get alot of injuries and if i can't run I get stressed.
    I think I will have to find a substitute activity I can do like swimming. I do find it incredibly hard to get a g.f I have had so many 1 day dates and not heard anything back. Anyway that's something im working on.

    I don't know if any of you know about the PUA community but most of my friends are from that. The goal here is I do actually want a g/f however I don't want to make do with a girl I don't find attractive. However if there was an alternative then I would try. I mean doing things like speed dating is terrible idea.
     
    Last edited: Mar 20, 2016
  8. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    I think the key is reigning your libido in. You want to be in charge of it, not it of you. Do this first and foremost for yourself, but woman also like to see a clean channelled harnessed energy in a man. They just sense it.
     
  9. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    1 year and six months.:D I hope things have improved for you in that time.
     
    ukmercenary likes this.
  10. ukmercenary

    ukmercenary Fapstronaut

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    Wow didn't realise how long it had been! I'll be honest in some ways it has improved I still don't understand some of the lingo on this site like PMO I would like more info on Triggers too. I'll be honest I was doing really well but I relapsed yesterday. I would say I think I would find it impossible never to FAP I think as males we are hard wired to ..well it seems that way to me. I like the H.A.L.T advice alot too.

    People on these forums the ones who seem to be doing well now seem to have g/f's and until I can find abetter mechanism of meeting them I don't see other option than still being part of the PUA community. I mean with day game you can meet as many women as you like. I can give an example when i was tried after work and was on the dating site POF and some girl came back to be with a really nasty reply..I was not rude to her.

    I thought ok im going out to do some Day Game..I was tired and hungry but in the end of got spoken to a nice lady and ended up going on a date with her ..even if I have not seen her again it goes to slow life is what you make of it.

    I still have alot I can be doing but im not the most assertive people I tend to procrastinate alot.
    I think this forum will help. There should be a meetup group for it !

    P.S Can someone like my post so I can put a counter on it..thanks!
     
    Buzz Lightyear likes this.

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