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Will it ever decrease?

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Sinner, Feb 24, 2016.

  1. Sinner

    Sinner Guest

    This is a question for everyone who went through this and can give me an answer. Will the urge to masturbate and watch pornography decrease in time or all my life will I have the same urges I had after the first day of quitting those two mentioned above?
     
  2. PornMustDie

    PornMustDie Fapstronaut

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    Yes, it will decrease!

    The more you grow passed this, the more you minimize it's power and impact on you.

    It's like this - the more you do something, the easier it becomes for you, whether good or bad. You (assuming you're Christian) must remember that Jesus shed His blood to win battles such as these for us. Proclaim your victory in Him and let His Word be your strength!

    He will never fail you no matter how many times you may fail Him. The Lord says "I will never let anything tempt you beyond what you can bear" so the load will never be too heavy. May God be with you, Brother!
     
  3. Kiriakos

    Kiriakos Fapstronaut

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    My longest streak was just over six months. That was a few years ago, but in my experience the answer is yes and no. P superstimulates your mind. Once you lay off of pmo for a while it calms down and, along with building discipline, becomes easier to control.

    The thing is, humans are sexual beings, and once your neuropathways are routed to seek sexual stimulation and release through pmo, your brain may still default to urges toward pmo until you (judging by your username, avatar, and signature) find a wife and rerout your neruopathways to bond you sexually to your wife.

    If it were possible to completely rid yourself of sexual urges there wouldn't be accounts of monks that struggled with urges.

    P.S. that's a legit icon of the Harrowing of Hades
     
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  4. Kiriakos

    Kiriakos Fapstronaut

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    I was just referring to the indicators that the original poster of this thread had suggested that he was waiting till marriage to have sexual relations.

    I am not married and was simply relaying things that I have learned because I have been trying to quit pmo for a long time. From what I understand (although I am not any sort of sex expert) neuropathways never completely rerout, so urges will still be there, but hopefully more manageable.

    I apologize for creating a false impression, I was merely trying to be uplifting, certainly not spark negative emotions in anyone. Please forgive my indiscretion.
     
    Last edited: Feb 26, 2016
  5. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Yes! It will decrease, wither and die. After a month of abstinence, I no longer have any desire for P. My battle now is with the odd fantasy in my mind.
     
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  6. Dr. J

    Dr. J Fapstronaut

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    It wanes . . . like any addiction. Cigarettes, alcohol, anything . . . it may never leave entirely, but pretty soon you find yourself going days. I probably want a cigarette twice a year for instance. By the way, for others reading, you can do this with our without Jesus. You can do it with or without a spiritual life. But I'm not sure you can do it without support. :rolleyes:
     
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  7. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Yes, it can be done without religion. But it leaves us asking from whence comes this desire, and this awesomeness, and to what does it aspire.:rolleyes:

    There is always a conversation of sorts between a humanism, philosophy, and religion. Naturalism, I think, is all about shutting it down.
     
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  8. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    I think we are essentially desirous beings. The crucial thing, for me, is to re-direct, or re-channel, that energy to its proper object. This is where I agree and disagree with a philosophy such as Buddhism; I agree that our desire is wasted and frustrated in so far as its directed towards what would simply gratify the ego; I disagree in that desire per se is thought to be illusory, and needs to be transcended, or obliterated, or whatever.

    It is not our desire itself that needs to be 'transcended' [desire is what makes us human, all too human], but rather that our desire needs to be directed toward the transcendental ideas of Unnum, Pulchrum, Bonnum, and Verum.
     
  9. Dr. J

    Dr. J Fapstronaut

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    Oh I believe in the spiritual life . . . .key word, believe as in "struggle to actually practice". I'm a Joseph Campbell fanatic - he promoted a kind of "non-personal, highly integrated and mystical" approach to these things. There is no reason for there to be "something" instead of "nothing", and not just "something" but something so vast, it's completely unfathomable in scope. All the religions, myths, folk tales, great literature and art, philosophy and natural splendor point to it like the finger that points to the moon. But "the thing itself", which is no thing, is beyond all categories, concepts and descriptions, and beyond all duality. We can never describe "it" but we can pursue it anyway. As one writer said, "it's better apprehended than comprehended".
     
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  10. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    Wow, that sounds very Kantian; 'representations' and 'things in themselves'! I love how Kant draws this distinction of how we can only have knowledge of representations, or appearances, yet how this 'knowledge' is not of reality, or of the ground of appearances. After Kant, a lot of thinkers and theologians did away with this 'thing in itself'. Yet, for Kant himself, we were kind of constrained to believe in it, to think of it as a normative idea, because if we didn't, we wouldn't be able to make sense of ourselves, in practical terms [as opposed to theory], as moral beings with intelligence, art, religion, and free will. Perhaps the price of doubt is incoherency.

    Of course, this doing away of the superstructure of life suits the interests of a purely acquisitive society as it promotes, in the ego, passivity and consumption. And P has to be the ultimate form of consumption, where one is consumed in the act of consuming.
     
    Last edited: Feb 28, 2016
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  11. Dr. J

    Dr. J Fapstronaut

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    The ultimate "eat or be eaten" reality. . . . or I guess "eat and be eaten".
     
  12. Sinner

    Sinner Guest

    This done without the support of the Christ is useless, in my opinion, and without offending anyone.

    Everything I do, the struggle for purity and chastity is to get closer to God, since in the path of salvation the first need to be purified is your body, then the other things.

    Who are you pleasing when you do it just because you want to? Who are you pleasing when you quit M and P just because you want to do that? Yourself, you are pleasing yourself, again. In my opinion, everything one does in this life has to serve the others or God, which is basically the same thing, because serving the others you are serving God, and by serving God you serve the others.
     
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  13. Thanks for your honestly sharing this @ISO Happiness . It was really educational for me to read this. I've been married once, then divorced and as I contemplate relationships I find this viewpoint very important to consider. That Coolidge effect (essentially 7 year itch) is real. Once we are in the body we have desires and they multiply, and are not satisfied easily, and once satisfied they rise up again, and so are perhaps never satisfied permanently. But the good news seems to be that one can redirect desire and some paths are more beneficial than others. But I agree with you that the desire for sexual gratification is one of the hardest to redirect permanently. So while I don't have a pat answer that I can vouch for from my own experience; and although I know a lot of bookish ones, I don't like to repeat that which I cannot prove by living. So I can empathize and I learn from the commonality of our experience. All the best! YB
     
  14. Dear ISO Happiness, I'm 48 years old. My marriage didn't work because of not one reason but a combination. My ex became unhappy because her personality when it descends to a lower level of development constantly seeks new things to excite and stimulate her. This combined with a weird aspect of her personality (worsened by hormonal swings probably, PMDD) could make her extremely disconnected with reality, hysterical, vicious and abusive. Meanwhile my personality, which was also not at its highest level of development at that time, just wanted to be responsible and keep the family together as best as possible but under pressure it started to reflect underlying perfectionistic and judgemental traits. Add to all this a 1h 20 min commute for me both ways each day, high pressure jobs for both, infant to care for, parental pressures. The external pressures did not help the already fracturing relationship. After a while it became impossible for me to maintain my self respect and sense of peace, even though I did not want to divorce for the sake of my child (I still have rather traditional ideals that way, although I now accept that divorce is sometimes better for the mental peace and happiness of many if the marriage is a disaster). I have no regrets now though because I don't think being a saint in that marriage would have made me particularly proud of myself, nor would it be a good role model for my child. I have one angel of a daughter. I was STRONGLY convinced that I was hugely better of single until 6 months ago when a relationship possibility came my way. It hasn't worked out and probably won't (many factors) and I am slowly trying to get back to being happy as I am and yet open to something if it should happen.

    What was educational for me in your post was that I think that the sex in all relationships eventually cools down and can be at best reasonably satisfying- maybe I am wrong in some rare cases. This has less to do with the specific people involved but more with our biology and biochemistry- Coolidge effect and all that- man wants variety. One has to work at the relationship and if it is based on mutual love and respect then the sex is just icing on the cake - a bonus if both are healthy and have a mutually well-tuned sex drive. So entering a relationship because I can't have sex by myself (in non PMO and not getting it for money state) alone seems like a bad idea for me at least, and I think I should weigh the peace and contentment I get from being with that person more than anything else. So your post helped me clarify my thinking a lot. Thanks. YB
     
  15. vulture175

    vulture175 Fapstronaut

    urges are things that we have to fight for our entire life. This life is mostly pain. Being alive is a pain. Being dead is relief. This planet is doomed. However, there's another planet which is more perfect, more peaceful. And we can only come there in the afterlife, but only if you don't commit sins and confess if you have committed them. That's all my belief.

    I believe only spirituality can set us free ... forever, but what is that spirituality? I don't know yet. Perhaps I will never know
     
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  16. Yesodi

    Yesodi Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Most definitely YES! As your clean streak gets longer, it will become increasingly easier to sustain it for an additional day. This potentially sets up an endlessly self-optimizing cycle where the end result is that: YOU WIN!
     
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  17. Buzz Lightyear

    Buzz Lightyear Fapstronaut

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    As Yesodi says above, yes it will decrease. No doubt it is different for everyone, but I found after a few weeks the 'urge' noticeably weakened. Now, it's something I notice, think no big deal, and think something else.
     
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  18. Gladiatori

    Gladiatori Fapstronaut

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    +++trigger++
    IMO. hard-mode oh my... lol Look at that PUN! is always good. keep your energy into building other things.

    TO which hard mode do u refer? :D::D:D
     
  19. Icyweb

    Icyweb Fapstronaut

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    It will decrease, especially if you develop good habits and hobbies. You can kick the devil out of your house and dump all his things on the side of the road, but if you don't fill your house with your own things, he will move back in sooner or later.
    I may be taking this out of context, so if I am, please ignore me.
    Purifying your body and life are important parts in the path of salvation, but you can focus on other things to. There is no need to limit yourself to just one area of self improvement right now, especially since doing good helps you to become good in other ways.
     
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