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76 Days no P, Aiming for 90

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by Gilbert, Jan 4, 2016.

  1. Gilbert

    Gilbert Fapstronaut

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    I've reached 76 days now without viewing pornography. There's been many temptations and even now I'm having to resist the urge, but I feel like I've kept this habit under control, even if I have still been just MO'ing maybe twice a week. For New Years I thought I might at least try and go 30 days or so without any PMO whatsoever but I probably won't kick myself too much if I'm unable to do this as it's the pornography I wanted complete shot of.

    What's kept me going is remembering the numerous amount of times I've relapsed in the past and how hollow, disgusting and ashamed I felt doing so. My faith has also been a motivating factor. On top of these, there is a guy at university who I'm really rather fond of, however I don't want to enter into a relationship until I'm 90 days shot of this habit, so this is a strong motivator for me also. Even if the feeling isn't mutual with this guy, I do miss being in a relationship and want to be able to date and maybe enter one without the guilt of knowing that I'm seeking unhealthy sexual release with my computer/phone screen behind their back. Having to start again after going over two months would be a huuuuge bummer so that's motivating also.

    With the new year it'd probably be good for me to maybe post more regularly to keep track of this habit (and my life), so I've started a new journal and will take it from there, even if I don't post every day.

    Thanks for such a great online community and for everyone who has offered me support, empathy and not judged.
     
  2. Gilbert

    Gilbert Fapstronaut

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    I have so many high expectations for myself for when I get back to university.

    I neeeed to be working more regularly and every day - writing up/going over lecture notes and researching, small bits of theory/analysis work, whatever, as the stress of having to cram in a load of knowledge in a short time for my essays last term and my exams next week was/is a nightmare and something I don't want to have to face again this term.

    I neeeed to sort out my sleeping pattern. I would love to be the kind of person that gets out of bed straight away and has productive mornings rather than having to rush to lectures and that. For this I need to get early bedtimes though for sure, which is so difficult at university, but I guess if I'm tired then there's nothing wrong with an afternoon nap and whatnot.

    I want to develop my relationship with God more - my journalling, praying and Bible reading have been completely awful for ages now and honestly I just find it tedious and boring hahaha. I need to not put too much pressure on myself I think is the answer and seek a new way of reading to make it more interesting for me.

    Music instrument practice - daily - straight forward enough.

    Exercise - I'm very out of shape and unfit. Ideally running every two or three days perhaps? But I could do with better running gear for this so that may be a worthy investment.

    Honestly though all of these things come down to organisation and self-discipline. My time-keeping is generally all over the place and I basically just need to be structuring my days better. The other worry as well is that I'm having far too high expectations for myself. University, especially first year, should be fun, and I probably shouldn't be bogging myself down too much, but I dunno. I'll be praying about it and hopefully see how next week goes when I return.
     
  3. Gilbert

    Gilbert Fapstronaut

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    Bollocks I meant to post this in under 20 journals not newbies ahahahah
     

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