1. Welcome to NoFap! We have disabled new forum accounts from being registered for the time being. In the meantime, you can join our weekly accountability groups.
    Dismiss Notice

Is this the effect of excessive PMO or just my thoughts??

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by BeginningOfNewLife, Dec 12, 2015.

  1. BeginningOfNewLife

    BeginningOfNewLife Fapstronaut

    61
    18
    8
    Hii..Hope you guys are doing great! :) My question is, From some time - around a year I am noticing and analyzing the change of in behavior. From what I have noticed I am becoming more irresistible. PMO is the another thing in which it is very hard to resist, but I also can not resist my self doing other things. Like if I am doing any important assignment, or any other important work or reading for exams and if any thought enters mind e.g check blah blah on internet, look up for this. (NOT related to P or related stuff) Especially the things related to internet are more irresistible. As I am studying computer engineering I spend most of my time in front of my laptop - around 10-12 hrs a day. So most of time is wasted in such stuff. So can anyone suggest me something on How to control this? Is this the effect of my addiction or just my thoughts?
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2015
  2. nfprogress

    nfprogress Fapstronaut

    898
    499
    93
    I also study computer related topics and I know that the more difficult material requires hard focus that can be draining mentally and you need substantial time to let your mind unwind throughout the day. What I fear may be happening in your case is that the brain sees just about anything that is easier than computer engineering as a path worth taking and it jumps on it. The easiest possible thing to do is probably to jump on quora, stackoverflow or other similar sites, so that is what the brain does and you allow it!

    It is counter-intuitive, but one thing that may help you is to take time away from the computer in at least two specific ways. One, even if you don't want to, step back away from the machine and do a fair amount of your thinking without staring at pixels. Sometimes I like to walk around and hold many ideas in my head before I go to implement a solution. Secondly, if there is any way you can get some of your materials in print form, either by utilizing free printing resources or buying physical books, that may help avoid distractions. Create a learning environment and a routine conducive to getting work done. The general idea of Pomodoro's can be extended over longer time frames if needed and you end up with an abstraction that is much like a professional work day. Think about it this way. Imagine yourself doing the job of your dreams in the near future working with colleagues who depend on you. Think about what you need to learn right now that will make you a better person then. If you set yourself a reasonable workday (maybe 8 hours per day instead of 10-12 for instance), you may find you focus better. If you don't tackle this now, I can assure you it happen again in your first career and trust me, you don't need that!

    Start to recognize the point right before you go off task. Pause and accept what is happening and gently guide your mind back to doing what you need to do. This will be tough at first and you 'will' fail at least sometimes. That is okay, but over time you should notice you get better at it and your brain resists you less and less. That is you building the right habit and aligning what you want with what the your brain will tolerate doing. You may need to think meta-cognitively and adjust your strategies to optimize your attention, but that is something I feel you can handle well enough as a computer engineer!

    Also, make sure you have the basics in line in your life. Sleep well, eat healthy, and practice stress reducing techniques like meditation, mindfulness, exercise etc. A stressed brain won't learn the same and a stressed brain is going to fall right back on habits. If your habits are 'bad' like PMO, then guess what? You stress, you PMO. If they are good habits like exercise, then guess what? Stress prompts you to go for a run and you come back and are actually in a better position.

    There are also many books to help with this and I have taken time to read one self-improvement book a week during reboot lately. Don't think you don't have time to do this because those types of books are deceptive. They contain a ton of useful strategies, but can often be read in a single night without taxing the brain at all. Totally different than diving into Shankars quantum mechanics texts. Even if QM is easy for you, you should end up thinking about it a lot whereas many good self development books on motivation, discipline and habit formation etc have absurdly simple actionable plans that are easy to follow (I haven't come across a wave equation in one of them yet but I am still looking).

    Another quick note. Start a journal in a physical book. Write down what you need to be focusing on and when you get those distracting internet thoughts refer to and expand your list if you need to. I too suffer from mindless web browsing and it can be tough to get a handle on. I have some suggestions there if you think they might help. Writing down your focus points will help elevate those action items to the forefront of your thoughts.

    Also, consider getting on Evernote or using OneNote if you are in a Microsoft shop. You can amass quite a lot of useful personal information about your life and you can turn to one of you project sheets anytime you need to instead of Stackoverflow. Notes like that are great for reflection and you can get the stuff out of your mind and onto a permanent storage location.
     
    Last edited: Dec 12, 2015
  3. BeginningOfNewLife

    BeginningOfNewLife Fapstronaut

    61
    18
    8
    Yeah..You are right brother. To keep my mind diverted while browsing online, I started visiting stackoverflow on daily routine, now I am spending most of my time on stackoverflow when I am accessing internet but also when I should be studying. :(.
    I have already started following your advice. I am spending some time away from my laptop. I also think that I should reduce the amount of time that I spend on laptop. I am fond of reading books and I have read many books. If you don't mind can you suggest some good books that can help me?
    Another thing that you said about exercising, for that I want to say, "I suck at exercising..I don't exercise. Even If I start I can not do it daily or on regular intervals" :( I know I should be doing, I should also be meditating but whenever I think about exercising my brain feels tired and eventually I drop my idea. I am also started getting little fat due to not exercising. Due to my addiction, I feel exhausted and tired all the time. Can you please share your opinion if you have experienced this? How do I overcome this?
    Thanks in advance :)
    PS: Sorry for the late reply, I was preparing for my exams!
     
  4. nfprogress

    nfprogress Fapstronaut

    898
    499
    93
    The easiest thing for me to help with might be the exercise. The mental laziness is a habit that can be broken by developing counter habits that keep you in shape. The thing about exercise is that I get superior cognitive blood flow and an acute endorphin response that is almost immediate after a hard training session. So there is no delayed gratification. It is more like 'immediate' gratification. It lasts several hours and I am much more productive. When I was younger, I would always build a habit of initiating exercise right after I felt like my brain couldn't take anymore studying. I'd split my day into two parts. First 2-4 hours were upon waking and were for studying. Then a workout. Then a meal followed by a short nap or siesta, then another 2-6 hours of studying. If I still had gas in the tank I would do easier forms of review after my time was over or would schedule relaxation late at night when I was finished (PMO to be clear though obviously that isn't what I'd recommend now...it never made me tired or depressed when I was younger).

    I like jogging just because there is virtually no resistance to starting it. You just need your sneakers, a pair of shorts and some kind of shirt that you can carry easily in a small bag or backpack where ever you go. Showering tends to be easy as you don't even 'need' to pack extra soap in most places and can air dry. Low friction activity to get into.

    To kick start your habit, I actually recommend an exercise accountability partner if you can find one (offline of course). I have a running partner and one year ago today he couldn't even run a mile without stopping. But he knew that I had built the habit and that we would always have a scheduled run time even if he sometimes wasn't willing to do it. Over time, he built good workout habits too and now can run four miles with me or do 80-100 flights of stairs and come out of it just fine (we are in our 30's so that is not trivial!). I initially built my running habit by simply jogging 2-4 miles each day for 30 consecutive days. After that it was automatic for me. I have always loved a physical challenge though so YMMV.

    There are many books that you can start with if you are interested in personal development. I'd suggest find some of the better books on habit formation for sure since habits are a very large percentage of what we do and they require no maintenance once established. Mini-habits is a book that is a bit extreme, but has some good ideas about how you can start tiny and build up. The Willpower instinct is a good take on how willpower works while Meet Your Happy Chemicals addresses quite a few life factors that govern what we do and how we think. You may also prefer to check out some meta-cognition books such as Five Elements of Effective thinking or one of the many creativity books like Creative Thinkering (Michalko was an engineer if memory serves and it was a very solid book for my first foray into creativity theory). Very useful for an aspiring computer engineer.
     

Share This Page