New Fapstronaut Starting Today

Hello everyone. just want to introduce myself to the community. I started looking at porn and PMO way back at the age of about 14 or 15. I am 54 now so that probably makes me the longest documented fapper in the community. It started naturally as I learned about sex and masturbation but then, somewhere along the way, it got totally out of control and I found myself enjoying porn at least as much as real sex. I also found myself fantasizing about women that I saw throughout the day, at work, and even my girlfriends while I was not with them. When I did have a new girl friend, I found myself becoming quickly disinterested in real sexand more interesting in fantasizing about them and images of them or I would need to do more and more kinky stuff in order to keep it interesting. Then I got married. We tried having children and because we were both older it was hard. I didn't help the situation at all because I never stopped fapping throughout the process despite the fact that i knew it was probably keeping us from having children. Ultimately, we ended up doing invitro and I feel that I was probably much of the problem. As I look back, I can now see how this addiction has affected every aspect of my life from relationships, education, work, business, employment. I have 3 beautiful children and a beautiful wife. I can see that I am spending way too much time in my digital fantasies and away from them. I haven't had sex with my wife for a year almost and, before that, there was a very long dry stretch as well. However, I find myself fapping at least a couple of times a day. I went from the playboy and penthouse magazines of old, to porn pictures on the Web. As bandwidth increased and content became more available, I began watching more and more porn videos on the web. Currently, my addiction is web camming and video chat. I find this very fullfilling because i think that i'm dealing with even more than just a prolonged and protracted PMO addiction. At this point in my life, I believe I am also suffering from a mid-life crises and really enjoy speaking to and fantasizing about younger beautiful women. I feel like such a perv though because most of these women are at least half my age. AT 54, it is really really important for me to kill this addiction. I have to build a business, stay employed, be there for my wife and children, and become the person that I know I am. I need my life back and to make the best out of what is remaining. I'm in it to win it! Very thankful for this forum and the support and community.

 

Thanks for the support and vote of confidence Afnan. As an older man, I can assure you that you are on the right track. Nothing good can be found at the end of the PMO path.