I failed

I have relapsed a few times too

 

I think it is all in your mind no one can help you if you can't help yourself @Anon117 @therealtalker96 and I know you can, because I used to think of myself as the most hopeless case of PMO addiction and that I would never stop... but guess what it already has been 8 days and I have no intention of coming back anytime soon, not to say I haven't relapsed a few times, but what really helped me is that I set my goals infront of my eyes, whenever I feel close to getting weak I look at my goals and how far I have come and decide against losing all my progress and risk getting back into the addiction for just a few minutes of "fake" pleasure.

think of why you are doing this... do you want to spend the rest of your life a shell of a man, isolated and looking at porn to get off or do you want to become a better person, a real man, and feel like you have a strong will power and that you are incontrol of your body and your mind, don't say I will stop PMO forever if that is too much for you, start by today say I won't look at porn or masturbate for 2 days for example... sounds easy right? then progress from there, after the 2 days don't give in, but instead go for a week, and it will gradually become easier and you will do it, but you have to really really want it, want it so bad that you will fight anything that comes in your way, but if you just kinda want it, or want to "try" quitting PMO, you might as well stop wasting your time.

best of luck pal.

 

The average guy jerks off twelve times a month, or so some studies say. If you're making it three days without, you're average.
How long did you make it? You're probably doing better than you think when compared to the general population.

 

OP, to find the journals section, go to the forums list and scroll down to the bottom where it says "reboot logs." It's sorted by age. You're under 20, so you can just click here.

 

I just want to tell the op and the guy below that is takes hard work but plenty of people on here relapse and not to get to stressed about it. A journal is simply to find out why you relapsed and what your triggers were. Then when you find out your triggers have an action plan for when you you feel notice that something might be triggering you. You can do it but it does take hard work. Read and learn all you can about this addiction. Go to learn about it on YOURBRAINONPORN.COM, rebootnation (youtube), Sacred Sexuality Project (youtube), Noah B.E. Church (youtube).

 

Step 1) Start a NoFap journal (it seems like you are already looking to do that)
Step 2) Find an accountability partner or group. Someone or a group of people you can talk to and help each other get through it.
Step 3) Come here daily. Read the success stories and talk with people on the forums.
Step 4) Find other areas in your life where you can add good habits (meditations, exercise, reading, etc).

 

Well for the guys up top, I have been there on more than one occasion and I'll tell you that giving yourself a purpose, a selfless purpose is one of the best ways to avoid relapse. My priest made a good point, surround yourself with other people that need help and focus all your energy on them. This takes away the concern for your own self and focuses it on something positive. You then benefit from not only helping those in need but become less concerned for your own well being and thus get into a habit of denying pleasure. When you fail just realize this, when a sword is tempered it is heated and then cooled. This accomplishes the strengthening of the sword so it may achieve greater durability and sharpness. When you relapse you are cooling down your sword and losing your fire but when you get back in there (the heat) you are much stronger and then the process repeats itself. We are tempered swords with so much potential but much suffering to gain the best outcome. Now become the Excalibur that I know you two can become and get back in that heat brother!
Nick

 

me too bro..

 

Those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. (Isaiah 40;31)

Did you know that an eagle knows when a storm is approaching long before it comes?

The eagle will fly up to some high spot where it will wait for the storm to approach. When the winds hit, the eagle will stretch out its wings so that the wind will carry it up and over the storm. While the storm rages below, the eagle is safely soaring above it. So the eagle does not escape the storm, but uses the storm to lift it to safety.
When our storm comes, be it illness, grief or disappointment of any kind, let us use it as a catalyst that will raise us up to greater heights. The grace of God will strengthen us and keep us safe. God’s grace is always sufficient and His power is made perfect in our weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9)

The storms will come to us, but we shall overcome them.

Just thought this would help you guys out, I've been doing some research spiritually and have learned so much and see life in a whole new perspective! I love you guys and don't let this thing beat you.

Nick

 

in the same boat. very disappointed with myself but the advice given to you is good.

I especially need a plan to deal with some triggers. at home w/o partner, son asleep. Had 68 days of peace. Now got to fight yo get back on track.

you can do it. I can do it.

let's get back to making good choices

peace

 

Hi Anon @Anon117

You have not failed, you have not relapsed. You have only been a member here 10 days. You have not been fighting enough to call it a relapse. You are simply still using, but just a bit yet. You are bothered by it, alot, but, still, not enough. Your profile says you have only posted 6 times. No one quits the first time. When quitting porn you have to embrace what is, for the addict, the impossible thought: I am quitting. There are many guys here who struggled for years before they embraced that concept. This cannot be about seeing how long you can go without. You, like many of us, spent years unconsciously wiring your brain to love a porn induced dopamine high. We did not know we were doing that. The phrase "porn induced dopamine high" was, for most of us, a phrase we had never heard of before finding places like this or YBOP. I think your religion is a fantastic thing for you. I suggest you make that your reason for quitting. The most successful rebooters have a "reason to quit." If religion is your thing, make that your reason to quit. But, faith alone will not win this fight for you. You are going to have to put in days, and weeks, and months. Just like prayer will not make you the strongest guy in the gym, or the fastest guy on the track, you are going to have to exercise every single day to get better. Your exercise is a brain exercise: Not watching porn, not giving yourself a dopamine high through porn. That sounds easy but it will be one of the toughest things you have ever done or ever will do. Dopamine feels like life, like living. Cutting that off, for an addict, feels like death. Quitting porn is a chore. It is a very difficult, unpleasant, time in any addicts life when they have to embrace the pain of withdrawals when the only thing that will kill the pain is PMO. You will have to endure that pain because the one thing that will stop it is the one thing you cannot do; porn.

HopeFaith just posted a video. You responded that you will watch it later. I am going to post a video. Here it is:



It is the Gary Wilson video that freed many of us by explaining what was going on in there. I suggest you stop everything else in your life and give it the 16 minutes it takes to watch it. You see, Anon, you are asleep right now, dreaming and swimming in a dopamine haze. You have a habit that you don't like, but you need to stop right now and inform yourself exactly what it is. When you are done with this one, watch Gabe's video sent to you by HopeFaith. You need to figure out right now which of the two types of guys you are: The very nice guy who is here trying to control porn, but keep it in his life, or the very nice guy who is going to get mean and expel porn addiction from his life, even though it hurts, more than anything else. If you are not willing to embrace the pain, don't even bother starting. It is time for you to Get Educated. It is time for you to wake up. It is time for you to take off your chains.

 

Try again. If you fail again, fail better. Keep failing better until you don't fail.

 

Hi Anon. I saw your response, and I like it. Yes, I AM insensitive. There is no easy way, no nice way, no sensitive way, out. You have to be tough to beat this. I think you are. Good luck to you.