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I've reached 90 days. How did I do it? A short summary. :)

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Deleted Account, Feb 23, 2014.

  1. What's the point? Ask anyone who has ever relapsed for any reasons. But specifically for me, the reason I did this to prove to myself that it can be done. My other reasons for quitting and to return to MO is written all over this thread and my own, I won't repeat here.

    What happens? I live my life just as I did when I was PMO-ing daily, and when I was at the 90 day reboot, and just as I lived today. Meanwhile I try something out, and share my experience with you. Take it or leave it, it's just that simple.
    If anyone thinks my posts are the justification of MO-ing, then that person missed my whole point. Do a 90 day hard mode clean streak first, and then you can experiment all you want.

    I hope that answered your question.

    To the others, thank you very much. :)
     
  2. R.C

    R.C Fapstronaut

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    Sure it can be done , and congrats on that , but my question was are you going to go back to casually PMO'ing now or what's your game plan ?


    I'm asking because I don't think I'll PMO / MO when I reach 90 , or 355 for that fact. I'm curious why you did it.
     
  3. Yeah okay, I misunderstood you. So no, porn is out for good, and I let myself MO every second weekend, for a day. Basically twice every month. The reason behind is that the body generates testosterone, and this hormone can overflow in the brain, and causes every kind of weird effects. For me it caused emotional instability, which was far more troublesome then the effects of PMO together. I consulted with some experts on the matter, and it turned out that the brain cannot adjust itself to this high levels of testosterone, so the emotional instability would not only remain but get worse in time.
    I learned this about 70 days and the last 20 was absolute nightmare.

    Conclusion: porn has no meaning or potential benefits whatsoever, so there is no reason for me to return to it.
    I only MO regularly (but much much rarely then before) to keep my sanity, because at the end of the 90 day journey, I was afraid that I will lose my mind. Now that I took care of that problem, I feel fine, but I somehow also miss my challenge, so I'm looking forward to stay clean for another two weeks. :)
     
  4. R.C

    R.C Fapstronaut

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    Interesting , I always felt more "emotional" after PMO'ing. As in more prone to sadness. The extra testosterone affects me in the sense that my natural aggression went up. I don't really mind that , in fact , I like it. If anything , it gives me more stability.


    Still ,you mention day 70+. I'm actually curious about that now , can't wait to experience it myself.


    This is gonna be a weird question , but how do you MO without the P ? You must fantasize about something, and if that's not P , what is it ?

    To me , MO'ing without P is like eating pizza without the pizza sauce. It's still kinda good , but not nearly as. I know , not the best analogy , but I think it illustrates my point pretty well :D.


    Then again in my case the MO'ing isn't what I miss , the P is. Which is..kinda what you'd expect ? I dunno.
     
  5. the7RAYS

    the7RAYS Fapstronaut

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    I would love to hear some experience from those who have gone 90 days with no PMO on the subject of testosterone overload

    I can see myself giving into my brain in the future on that one.

    Perhaps there are ways of allowing the resulted emotional states, ways to cope?

    I only ask for personal reasons, I know everyone's journey is different
     
  6. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Its not something I noticed (or didnt consider?) EarthDragon- what were your 'symptoms'?
     
  7. @ R.C. : Mo-ing without P is very easy for me. I don't really think about anything, or if I do, I just imagine having sex with a girl. I don't use anyone in my fantasies particularly, I just rather concentrate on the feeling. I agree though, it's much less fun without porn, but I can live with that.

    @ the7RAYS: Well, you can avoid the symptoms ov testosterone overdose, if you can transmute your sexual energies into something else. Excessive working out might help, though it is out for me, because I have an injured shoulder. Also there are energy techniques but they require a master and patience, and I lack the latter.

    @ Mark: My mood changed irrationally fast from minute to minute. In a second I was calm and doing my bussiness, then something didn't work at the first try, and I almost smashed it to bits...only to realise that I was trying it wrong. At first I didn't notice, but after a while I started to ask myself: "what the fuck is wrong with you? why are you this angry?" because my reactions got too serious. This is no way to live, because what if someone says something I don't like? Try to rip his head off?

    Another time I was just minding my bussiness, and one of my exes came into my mind, and I started to cry. What the fuck? I'm a grown man, and grown men don't cry for no reason. She wasn't even important, I didn't really love her, and the whole relationship lasted for 2 months. And it ended like...3 years ago? Then I realised that there is something really wrong going on here.

    So things like that, you get the idea. :)
     
  8. Mark

    Mark Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    Yes I had some of that but maybe not as much but I am 20 odd years older than you so that will make a difference:eek: Also am very much into the taoist transmutation stuff which I believe helps me enormously. Cheers :)
     
  9. Great work Earth Dragon, just want to get your thoughts on a few things.

    If you're still feeling emotionally unbalanced doesn't necessarily mean it's directly related to having "too much testosterone", I mean unless you've had some blood tests and literally know that it's unbalanced then you don't really know.

    The 90 days thing is an arbitrary number and doesn't reflect the actual amount of time it takes any one person to fully reset their sexual impulses. But like you said, you weren't experiencing the side effects so maybe it's different for you.

    Of course, it is your first attempt, and pretty damn good for the first one. I've been doing this since Nov 2013, and I've made it pretty far several times since then, but I know guys who have been at day 123 and experienced crappy stuff.

    I guess the biggest contention I have is the MO thing. I don't see it as a necessity for living, but it's only because it's hard to control urges after I give into an MO.
     
  10. I'm so proud of you man <3 Congratulations, you're a warrior! Thanks for all the help you gave me! I hope one day I'll be as much as a tough motherfucker than you :D
     
  11. challenge

    challenge Fapstronaut

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    Good stuff ! all the best for the rest of your journey
     
  12. Well yes, I hadn't tested myself of course, but it seems to be working out, I have regained much of my self control.

    I admit I was worrying a bit if I push myself down on the slope with MO-ing, but it seems that it's not the case. Because I still 100% feel like I'm doing the 90 days challenge. No chaser effect, nothing. It is as though my body is too slow to react to MO. It says "what was that?...uhm...must have been nothing" and goes on like still in the original challenge. This is a great relief.

    This is an open question for you guys, I wonder if you have experienced the same? When I PMO-d, I was usually hard for quite some time, even after the orgasm. However if I MO without P, I get soft very soon, and the chaser is much more weaker, than when I was watching porn.
    So PMO and MO has different effects on my body. Does this work like this for you too? Don't try it now, just remember.
    Thank you for your comment by the way.

    cocorosie, thanks for your comment too, I hope I can inspire some people round here. Though I haven't fucked any mothers yet, if she'd be young...well...why not? :D Just joking. :)
    Anyway, even if I don't have time to read or comment to your posts (I have incredibly busy days, I can hardly find time to even come here) I see that you are still going strong. I admire you girl, way to go!
     
  13. SSEugene

    SSEugene Fapstronaut

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    That is great method..... Awesome job.
     
  14. Very good summary. Did you have any outside or practical controls in addition to the accountability partners that you think helped (e.g. internet/phone filter, moving computer, daily schedule, healthy habits, etc.)?
     
  15. No, not really. I live alone, so porn blocking software would've been pointless, moving the computer too, for the same reason. I didn't change the schedule, I just avoided porn when I was on the computer. There is one particular file sharing site I'm using, and I hid the XXX contents there. I could've still look at them if I'd have clicked the corrsponding link, but at least they were not in my face.

    i didn't really wanted to trick my brain, or force it to do something it doesn't want to, but I made it understand that no PMO will benefit it. I'd rather work with my brain, then against it. The latter would be paradoxical anyway. The brain works against itself...nothing good can come out of it. However if you think that PMO is a sickness, and you want to cure yourself, you can put the brains rationalisations aside. For a while at least.
     
  16. conqueror

    conqueror Fapstronaut

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    Congrats EarthDragon!
     
  17. ssa

    ssa Fapstronaut

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    Thanks a ton! i see hope now.

    Thank you for sharing your story and experiences with us, Earthdragon. For a guy like me, who is still struggling with staying afloat with NOFAP, you are truly an inspiration and the 90 day truly looks like a possibility.

    With regard to emotional coasteride, you know I must confess since I have been trying to go sober, I find myself so ANGRY it is just crazy. I must confess I have been under some stress and I haven't been doing the things I used to enjoy, like reading coz right now I live in a loft with so much of TV sound over which I sadly have no control.

    Thank you for sharing about the high and low. I used to think I was the only one who was going through it and thought it was a sign of the "unnaturalness of not PMOing"


     

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