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Catholic / Orthodox Fapstronauts

A group for members of all religions, or no religion at all, to talk about religion

  1. Newme95

    Newme95 Guest

    my true worry is not about the rules,my worry is that I'll never find a girl that will wait.For me cuddling and kissing can also wait.
     
  2. JustADude

    JustADude Fapstronaut

    my wife waited. she is not an enigma. there is hope for you!
     
    funkycedars and Newme95 like this.
  3. headedup

    headedup Fapstronaut

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    You will find someone I am sure! There are billions of fish in the sea as they say. In my opinion, it is good for all of us without a significant other to work on our own addictions before getting involved. How good of partners can we be if we are clearly still sexually disintegrated?
     
    Newme95 likes this.
  4. peregrinnus

    peregrinnus Fapstronaut

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    @JoeinMD that's true indeed, a mis-expression on my part :)

    @Newme95, don't worry so much about it :) As long as you're working towards being the person you want to be, and developing according to the values that you want to have, you will end up attracting people of similar values towards you. The one thing that we need to learn how to do is NOT TO RUSH. Don't settle for someone who doesn't share the same values, or that you have to compromise on your core values for. Explore your own spirituality, and grow in your own faith - that will bring you closer towards the person you want to be.

    One of the most useful advice I've ever come across is: "Be the person that the person you are looking for is looking for." As long as you're working on yourself, the right one will come along :)
     
    funkycedars and Newme95 like this.
  5. lz7ification

    lz7ification Fapstronaut

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    New here, I decided I needed to clean up my life and I ended up here.
    I am a practicing catholic and I always was ashamed about my addiction to porn. It just didn't fit with the rest of my life.

    My journey has been quite odd, in fact I have been angry with God for an extended period of time because I thought he did not care about me or my needs. Especially, that he did not care about my ultimate goal to find a girl and marry.
    I think I started to change after listening to the Epistle one sunday at mass. The passage was James 4,3. At first I got enraged, and that I knew what was best for me, and that He was not just listening to my prayers. I talked about this with my confessor, and he told me that God has a plan for me, and that it will be revealed to me gradually.
    I went home even more puzzled than before, but that got me thinking about myself.
    And in the end, it isn't all so bad: I have a job, a nice family, a lot of good friends And I realized it was not God holding me from having a girl and a family, I was the main obstacle to my own happiness. He could have given me the sweetest girl in the world and I would have turned her away because of my addiction.
    I realized I have a big problem with porn, going through the whole PMO process many times a day, sometimes 4 or 5 when I felt really down, and I decided to quit and clean myelf up.
    I talked about this with my friends, it wasn't easy, but they are willing to support me in my journey. I am sure my confessor will be supportive too.
    I just pray God for the strength not to give up to the temptation again. This time, though, I know I'm asking for the right thing and that He will not let me down.
     
    funkycedars and headedup like this.
  6. Dom Quixote

    Dom Quixote Fapstronaut

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    I was raised Catholic, but haven't been a practicing Catholic for the last 35 years. After discovering this site, I happened onto some Catholic websites dealing with masturbation and homosexuality both of which I struggle with. Long story short, I am considering returning to the Church and defeat not only the two problems mentioned above, but a number of other transgressions that I've become involved in that have together severely damaged my integrity.

    I used to think that the Church was not interested in people like me, but the materials I read lately purport that we are ALL God's children, and there is a place in Church for me and others like me. Of course, in order to be in the Church good graces, there is zero tolerance for these behaviors, so this will definitely be a challenging journey.

    I have recently become very aware of the "temporary-ness" of life on Earth. We only get one chance at this life, and man, I want to make the best of my ticket. I want to make a difference, to be a shining light in other peoples' lives, and to effect the largest possible legacy in whatever time I have left here. I also want to be in God's presence and good graces; and to attain eternal life with Him.

    I realize that I don't have to go through this alone, and there are a great many others afflicted much the same as me and trying to overcome these problems. I have resolved in my mind that I will beat this thing with, of course, lots of assistance from people like you.
     
  7. peregrinnus

    peregrinnus Fapstronaut

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    Great to see you here, @Dom Quixote!

    There is a place for everyone in Church, it's called the"universal" Church for a reason :) Take the journey back slowly, and let God speak to you in His own way. There's no need to force yourself to become a saint overnight. Also, developing your own spirituality is really about deepening your relationship with God, who you might not know yet. Let it blossom slowly, and again, there's no need to force anything. Be gentle with yourself as well :)

    I wish you the best on your journey!
     
  8. lz7ification

    lz7ification Fapstronaut

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    Today at mass I made a decision. My confessor has been asking me to become an extraordinary minister of the Holy Communion for quite some time.
    I could never commit to this, mainly because I thought I was too dirty to properly handle Communion.
    In addition to the reboot I'm committed to, I decided I will undertake the course and become a minister.
     
    thenewbeginning and JoeinMD like this.
  9. Dom Quixote

    Dom Quixote Fapstronaut

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    Great advice Peregrinnus, thanks for your sage words of advice. I do plan to put one foot in front of another in sort of a measured and wel-thought-out approach. Also, though, I do tend to rush into things at times, so I appreciate wha you said.
     
  10. JoeinUSA

    JoeinUSA Fapstronaut

    Welcome. I've been in a very similar boat as yours - and am dealing with all the SSA and PMO issues as well (and now finding true PMO freedom) and finding complete fulfillment in my faith, in the Catholic Church, and in God. All of God's blessing on your journey that will unfold for you the very life of God and Jesus every day along the journey, not forgetting that our God is an Incarnational one, so he often puts us with one another (as the way to find recovery and healing) along the journey for the true power of his Spirit to transform our lives and find healing and support with each other. Feel free to contact me anytime (through 1-on-1 conversation feature) should you wish to take up either a faith discussion or for support and encouragement on the PMO-free journey. God Bless.
     
    funkycedars likes this.
  11. Dom Quixote

    Dom Quixote Fapstronaut

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    Thanks very much, Joe. I went to mass today and found that there is an Adult Rite of Christian Initiation course that is to begin in two days. I sent an email to the advertised contact. Do you think this is an appropriate course of action? Am I getting into this too quickly? I'm frankly scared about facing the future right now. Leap of faith perhaps?

    Peace Brother!
     
  12. Guster

    Guster Fapstronaut

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    Welcome @Dom Quixote . Youve not really left the church. You have just been gone awhile. It has been your home since baptism. I would encourage you to step out in faith and give it a try. The Church exist to carry on the mission of Jesus. She uses her sacraments to do what he did: to heal the sick, give sight to the blind, free the captive, and give food to the hungry. If you think that is what you need then go for it!! Unless you have been excuminicated they are yours for the asking!

    Be cautious when or if you start. Not all ministers or lay persons can know what the church really teaches, or be sensitive to what you have shared on this forum. You may need to give them a little slack.

    Also look up: catholicscomehome.com. Just a great site!

    Love and prayers
    Gus
     
  13. JoeinUSA

    JoeinUSA Fapstronaut

    If you didn't complete all your sacraments, e.g., Baptism, Confirmation, Eucharist, in the Catholic Church, then that may be the program. It also wouldn't be "getting in too quickly," as they could advise you and there would be no rush in such a program. If you've just been away for a while but previously received all these sacraments, when you get a call back, they would be able to advise you of other programs for those who are fully initiated perhaps but are just coming back after a long period. If you are already fully initiated, it may be just a matter of making a full and complete confession and receiving communion at Mass on a regular basis.
     
  14. Dom Quixote

    Dom Quixote Fapstronaut

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    Thanks Joe. I actually learned that last night while listening to a podcast. There really is some good information out there on the web and other electronic modes. In the old days a follower didn't have nearly the wealth of info literally at his/her fingertips. I should have known...Catholocism has progressed like most of the rest of the world.

    Peace, my friend
     
    JoeinMD likes this.
  15. Dom Quixote

    Dom Quixote Fapstronaut

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    I visited your recommended site Gus, and undoubtedly there is a lot more exploring there for me to do. Thanks so much for your most kind advice and support!
     
  16. Dom Quixote

    Dom Quixote Fapstronaut

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    Good for you, lz7, congratulations on this achievement. I'll bet this will only strengthen you resolve to succeed in the area of nofap.
     
    Moxie likes this.
  17. Moxie

    Moxie Fapstronaut

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    I want to share how guys on ChristianNofap have helped me address a difficult issue. Here's a thread you may find interesting, please offer feedback if possible:

    Me: I feel irksome because I live with my brother. I consider his dating life sleazy, because every few months there is a new girl that he's having sex with, and all these girls are in my home, often around me because my brother works with me, and I have to live with it, and work around it, even though I feel it is wrong that they are sexually immoral, and these girls are slutty and abominably easy. I often have to tip toe around them, while they are having sex in one area of the house, it becomes off limits to me and restricts my freedoms. It is frustrating that these people who are sinning seem to have more power and freedom than me and make me feel unwanted. What scripture can apply to my situation? Scripture always helps me, thanks to God.
    Thank you for reading.
    krazytennis982 days 2 points 6 hours ago

    Never stop doing what is right for just at the right moment I will bless you -Galatians 6:9

    If you are truly a Christian share with your brother Christ's love and redemption
    • Moxie8989[S] 1 point 5 hours ago

      Thanks, and I have invited him to church sometimes, but I'll try to keep doing that. I want to bring up Jude 1:16 KJV "These are murmurers, complainers, walking after their own lusts; and their mouth speaketh great swelling words, having men's persons in admiration because of advantage." My brother has boasted in the past that "girls like him a lot more," and his evidence is in how regularly he goes to bed with girls. These girls, and even some people in my family, it seems, admire him for his conquests, saying its because he is such a great guy to be around, and he is very self assured. In my Christian view, it is wickedness and pride of life, from the devil, that make him act this way, but he doesn't seem to be suffering any punishment of God's making. I can not tell if God sees his behavior as right or wrong, because he lets it continue without any signs or intervention. I feel like he would scoff at me if I shared with him Christ's purity, love and redemption. You're right and I want to do this, but only with the grace of God will it be possible.
      • krazytennis982 days 2 points 4 hours ago*

        Don't wait for church to share Christ with him.

        Lost people do lost things. Saved people do works of the Spirit, we sin but yet we confess and strive to be better. Your brother walking in lust will bring consequences, though they may not be present yet. God doesn't let man get away with wickedness remember Sodom.
        • Moxie8989[S] 1 point 42 minutes ago

          Okay, so I brought up Jesus Christ with my brother. I told him I thought his behavior was sinful and abominable. I told him he was a whoremonger and sexually immoral. I said why don't you try to seek Jesus in your life? He said "No." I said I strongly recommend you seek Jesus in your life. He said, "No." He said, "aren't prostitutes totally cool in the Bible? Wasn't Jesus' mom a prostitute?" I told him Mary was a Virgin. He said, "I'm not going to marry her (current girlfriend,) I just like getting my dick wet." He said "I've been trying to be a good person my whole life, its time I sinned, its my divine right." The fact is for 5 years he has been fornicating with several girls every year. I told him, "maybe if you worship the devil, if you consider satan divine and the flesh divine, it is your divine right." He said mockingly, "exactly." I told him fornication and sexual immorality can get you sent to hell if you do not repent and change.

          Did you follow this conversation? Do you have a better sense of what I'm dealing with? Do you think I "shared Christ's love and redemption"? How could I do it better?
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2015
  18. thenewbeginning

    thenewbeginning Fapstronaut

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    Congratulations! I'll keep you in my prayers for your success in this new path you're following!
     
  19. Dom Quixote

    Dom Quixote Fapstronaut

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    I wanted to clarify something I stated in this post. I wrote, "... I happened onto some Catholic websites dealing with masturbation and homosexuality both of which I struggle with." Actually I have never had any sort of relationship with another male other than M-ing with a friend once when we were both teens a long, long time ago. After some deeper reading I've discovered that the proper name for my situation is "Same Sex Attraction." I've been attracted to the same sex, but I've never acted on those feelings (other than M-ing far too much which is why I'm active on this site). I just wanted to set things straight and clarify myself.

    Peace friend!
     
    Last edited: Aug 18, 2015
    funkycedars likes this.
  20. Dom Quixote

    Dom Quixote Fapstronaut

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    After submitting this post, I sent an email to my Local Catholic Church' indicating that I was considering returning to the Church, and I asked what the next steps should be. I waited several days without a response, but late yesterday I received a return email from a representative. Of the Church. We are going to set up a meeting through which my questions will be answered. I am feeling all sorts of emotions from fear to excitement to dread to joy. This will be a major upheaval in my life, but I realize that I must venture out of the familiar and out of my old comfort zone in order to realize true progress in my life. Here goes...
     

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