It is getting harder and harder

I'm starting to think nofap is really risky to your mental health if you already have underlying issues. I don't think I have been so depressed and suicidal so often since I started nofap. You set yourself up for a really big drop when you relapse. You feel like your life is never going to get better because you will always be battling an addiction. You feel like you are living on a knife edge all the time. You are desperate to see results. You have to go through some really dark periods before you can even think about it getting better. I have never looked so in depth into myself since I started nofap. I don't think I have analysed so much about life and what it all means. You pin so much hope on one thing that when it doesn't work you are burned out.

 

The idea of nofap seems quite inert from afar... but once inside things get serious.
I've had a fair few weeks of almost complete breakdown, suicidal thoughts and wishes. Mostly due to a breakup, the pain of which I'd been masking with pmo. When I stopped pmo, there was nothing to hold back the tide. That's the thing, all that crap that we feel is in us anyway, just covered over with distraction. Though we may not be aware of the pain, we will be suffering from it. Got be better to feel it then we can address it. Though it may suck.

 

Mate, you have to run the marathon now. It seems like you jog regularly; you have to prove them wrong now.

If your life was best when you weren't watching porn, then that's what you should try to reach again. You did it before, so you know that you can do it.

 

I’ve been where you are before. It sucks. But it tells you something. You have no control over your PMO. If you give in once or just a little you’ll be back, full swing into PMO in no time. That tells you how serious it is and how vigilant you have to be. That is as bad as any alcohol or drug addiction. Really think about how PMO enslaves you and, just as importantly, how good you felt at 90 days free. See if you can find the motivation to make a serious effort to stop again.

 

You seem especially predisposed to the value of outer accountability and approval. This may indicate that a personal accountability partner could be particularly helpful to you. To commit to running a half marathon, get an insulting reaction (likely indicative of a jealous associate who wants to take you down a notch, whether you've considered them a friend or not), and then achieve this goal w/o that achievement being the main focus - - you thrive from outer approval. This is NOT a personal failing, in fact MOST people lean toward this tendency (sometimes called "Obliger").

Since struggling with a porn habit is usually an inner, private, conflict - that outer approval is harder to attain. Solution: accountability partner (probably - and try to get someone with a good track record, b/c a negative experience may also hurt you more).

Being unable to do you favorite anti-porn pastime is really rough. As hard as it might be to find one, you probably need at least one more activity that fulfills that role - and this will have to encompass your current physical limitations. An area of study, creating with your hands, volunteering in a low impact environment - - these could be good outlets.

Knowing that you felt better after your 90 days is golden. Keep your eye on the prize.

 

Well, I pray you get better, brother.

 

I had to chuckle at the title of the thread

 

You friend triggered your anxiety and old "not enough" feelings.
This could be fixed by learning how to handle your anxiety in a positive way + work on your self worth.
If u could do 90 with such inadequacies you could surely conquer the world if u manage to fix them.

 

You already know what to do good luck!

 

That really sucks that your friend discouraged you in your goal. It's easier said than done to say "fuck the haters, do your own thing." Friends should be more like the Body Improvement Club. "Wasshoi! Wasshoi! Fight on! Fight on!"

I hope you get back on the horse and reach your goal.
Running a half-marathon is a reachable and admirable accomplishment, and it'll do your health a world of good.
I don't know your health situation, but if you're just groggy from fapping, then at least go for walks and do some stretching until your body tells you it's ready for more. Enjoy the fresh air. Enjoy the feeling of your body in motion. Feel yourself getting purified as you sweat out the nasty residual fap chemicals. Feel yourself getting ever so slightly stronger in mind, body, and spirit, knowing that you're growing and moving forward while others are just wasting away. Fight on!

 

Congrats for your 110 days. I have 2 or 3. Thanks for inspiring others!

 

Thanks !! good luck ! first weeks are hard but after that period you will feel better

 

I think it is like smoking or Alcohol; if a person binges after a long streak of sobriety, he will find it harder to get back to the longer streak he had. I recommend you to find the triggers that lead you to relapse and try to solve it, revise your strategy that you used to reach such long streak.