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My husband's libido has died. It is normal?

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by LindaMoon, Sep 12, 2019.

  1. Damnation

    Damnation Fapstronaut

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    @LindaMoon if his constitution and will is wavering, and he is familiar with our NoFap community. Tell him to visit the retention page. I posted something very positive that I'm feeling right now, and I think just about any man could use those words right now. Especially if he can't break free right now.
     
    LindaMoon likes this.
  2. letter

    letter Distinguished Fapstronaut

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    My Journal
    As one sexual nature dies, another rises...in time.

    He may just not know sexuality aside from porn. I’ve gone through periods of non-sexuality, it was just my brain switching off the track of porn and onto other avenues. It can take some time to switch the tracks.
     
    Lilla_My and LindaMoon like this.
  3. Salt & Light

    Salt & Light Fapstronaut

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    Hey there!

    I have to say, everyone here is correct or could be. All are potential reasons. PMO, flatline, performance anxiety, regular old anxiety or even depression. I think cheating may be a stretch but of course this does depend on his addiction. I don't mean to panic you, there is no need for paranoia, its not going to help you or him.
    How is your emotional intimacy? If you don't mind me asking. Do you argue much? My BF cannot make love if we've been in a tense atmosphere, if he's hurt or upset. I'm the opposite which I deal with by reminding myself he is a different person with different needs.

    Is he honest with you when he relapses, will he come to you or tell you if you ask?
    There's no easy answer and with most things - time will tell. Very intimate question, private message me if you prefer or just ask yourself lol...when you're sexually intimate, and the finale approaches...what's the "result"?

    Sexual libido can dip, his brain is confused, it needs time to process and nobody has the same recovery. But it sounds like he needs to do more if he wishes to fully recover :)
    You mentioned he is concerned about this. Was this something you brought up or him? My BF faked performance anxiety for a while to cover his binge viewing habits. Awful I know, and I was very upset by the deceit, again please, I don't want you to get irrationally suspicious but this addiction can make a person quite selfish.
    Best to be open minded, this is not an easy journey for him or you and will test you at times. But stick together and have boundaries for yourself, especially with honesty - a relationship doesn't survive without full disclosure.

    Let me know if you need anything, we're here, S&L x
     
    LindaMoon likes this.
  4. Lilla_My

    Lilla_My Fapstronaut

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    Your husband needs to find his own, authentic libido without porn. This can take a while. In the meantime, there might be less sex. He is adjusting to a life without artificial stimulation.

    Also, the less you do of something, the less you need. People who eat less wants less food, and people who masturbate less might also have less urges after sexual stimulation after some time. When they have sex, the sex tends to be better with higher sensitivity, though.
     
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  5. LindaMoon

    LindaMoon Fapstronaut

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    OMG! Thank for your words of support! Now I can understand him.
     

  6. Sounds like flatline! I always seem to be able to come out of it for sex with my wife though! How old is he?
     
    LindaMoon likes this.
  7. LindaMoon

    LindaMoon Fapstronaut

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    Tomorrow is his 24th birthday.
     
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