My husband's libido has died. It is normal?

He is on flatline...this is common while reboot. I am experiencing flatline myself. It will last a few weeks and upto a few months in some cases. Its important that he doesnot become impatient and trust the process. His sex drive will come back in some time.

 

He may still be PMO, test is unlikely the issue. An erection can be maintained with 30% of normal free T. Reboot just doesn't seem to take as long as a lot of people are claiming. I mean, for normal guys anyway. The guys that have layers of mental health issues are another story. Took me 2 weeks to regain abilities. Until I fell back into old habits.

 

It's not his testosterone, it's flatline.

 

If he's getting an erection but had no desire for sex, it's not a flatline. He's getting his release elsewhere

 

Not necessarily. I've had them while on flatline, sometimes blood just flows there.

 

They’re implying that your husband has no libido because he is either masturbating or having sex with someone else. However, I personally think that its a bit of a stretch.

 

Not really implying he's cheating on her, as we know porn addicts have great difficulty becoming aroused to real humans. But I don't see how a porn addict relapsing back into PMO is some how a stretch, when this site is almost nothing but guys who can't seem to keep clean, including myself.

 

The truth is, there isn't much you can do. If you go over to the SO thread, there is a great deal of hopelessness and self loathing. As difficult as it is for women to convince their men to stop PMO, it's just as difficult for us to convince you that our addiction has nothing to do with you as a woman, how you look, or what you weigh. It's an addiction. Just remember, if he started doing cocaine, or heroin, would you blame how you look? Or your quality of womanhood? Just love and support him. If you find that you no longer have the ability to provide that for him, then it is time to move on.

P.S don't go to the SO board, it's a self loathing, depression ridden mess of women who have internalized their husbands addictions, and blame themselves for percieved failings that aren't actually theirs. It's sad, but no amount of words will lift them out of that sea of self hatred.

 

In spite of all
I personally admires you
U r so brave to help him & be so undestanding
No one tell u that u can"t do anything.
Just being around him is very supportive & really matters.
Plz we as addicts need every single kind of support.
For sure there"s flatline which means u r disgusted from all kinds of sex & that stays for a while & usually followed by catastrophic relapses. This is from my own experience
Go on, keep helping & supporting him
U r great.

 

So many reasons that can be the cause of lack of sexual desire. One not talked about here right now can even be shame and anxiety.....or certain meds can decrease interest/drive. It's certainly normal to want a healthy sex life that is consistent with your personal values as a couple. Healthy sex is the goal. I am a believer in "times does heal", so I'm an optimist that if we all keep walking forward trying different recovery recipes and maintaining patience, then slowly, but surely, things improve--to include sex drives and mutual pleasure/satisfaction. I know it's easier said than done. BUT so many have achieved it.