Fuuuuuuck, day 5 completed but coming home super late and super tired gave me insane urges. I have been grunting for the last hour lol. Porn is such a fucking trap. How can I know all the downsides, experience the devastating relapse emotions and still crave it so intensely?
Daily check-in, I relapsed yesterday. Today the final breach begins, I start 90 day mild no-alcohol challenge (limit to 2 units at once/2x week max)
Just had a reset. I haven't been contributing to this community much, which I think that affects me. Time to stay connected!
I'm in. Best streak was 58 days. I have Captain as my rank for now, however I am willing to start from Slave if I must earn the rank as part of this group. @MASTER MONK
Another relapse and this time it's serious. Started nodding off at my desk in work after a big relapse last night and my team leader asked me was everything OK, as it's not the first time it's happened. I told him it wasn't an ongoing thing and he was sound about it, but now this right here is the kick up the arse that I've needed. NO. MORE!!! Keeping my motivations to hand and my triggers at bay. I have to now. No more excuses!!!
Day 7 check-in, I have achieved 1 week without PMO and am now 2nd Liutenant, @MASTER MONK. I got hurt badly yesterday. I felt extremely frustrated and depressed. I would have probably relapsed today if I didn't remember the below quote: "what would happen if you just sat with the feelings/thoughts, instead of trying to respond to them or fight them?" So, I'm frustrated and depressed today, but that's okay. I'm not going to try to make myself feel better by PMOing. I'm not going to fight this feeling. I am going to sit and experience it. The streak continues.