What would you be doing if you didn’t care ?

If I didn't care about the mental health of my family, I would have possibly killed myself one year and a half ago. Water under the bridge now.

 

I would probably be an artist doing paint-by-numbers watercolors for tourists and live in a shack by the beach.

 

I compete in ballroom dancing and I'm pushing myself to overcome stage fright or just generally performing in front of other people.

Things like being more relaxed, more confident, eye contact, bold and daring movements, expressing myself emotionally, and entertaining the crowd. I've never done any sort of performance arts like this in the past. It's quite the challenge for me to grow in this area of my life.

Due to various childhood traumatic experiences, I grew up quiet, reserved, introverted, and solitary as a coping mechanism to avoid pain / problems / negative experiences. So the thought of expressing myself intensely in front of a crowd seemed crazy to me when I started this journey.

I'm a lot better these days since I've developed the necessary experience and skills. Getting better everyday, but I'm definitely not where I want to be in terms of being able to express myself in front of spectators.

Stage fright is like being heckled mercilessly during your performance and getting into an argument with the heckler. Except that it's your own mind doing the heckling. You get so involved with your internal struggle that you don't get involved with the actual performance and thus it suffers. Then your anxiety makes spectators feel uneasy and it all just spirals downwards.

The better I've become at focusing more on the performance rather than on my own fear / doubt, the more the audience supported me and we fed off each other's positive energy.

Now in my life outside of dancing, I try to put myself in as much scary / unideal / uncertain / tense social situations as possible to help me overcome my stage fright. I've become a lot more expressive, open, and honest in all areas of my life as a result of it. Dancing is a lot more fun now that I can become a positive impact on people that watch me.

Still a work in progress, but I'm getting there.

 

Since I stopped to think what would people (especially my parents) think about my business, my progress are going through the roof.

 

Almost the exact same thing. Most of what is holding me back is my own problems.

 

A tough question, but a good one.

What stopped me from dating was trouble with ED. I was scared of what people think when they heard about that, people I know, friends of the girls I'd date.

I always declined friends of my sisters, even though I was interested, just because I was scared of what my sister would think about me when she heard about my failing.

So, if I didn't care what people think, would anything hold me back from dating, going for what I want? Maybe not.
I wouldn't have given up on it. I would have kept trying, giving love another chance, time and time again.

Perhaps I would even be living close to my relatives together with a family of my own already, instead of living alone.

I've been so afraid. It's time to change.

How about you @Kman20? What would you be doing?

 

You make a great point. Sometimes caring about what people think of us can stop us from doing negative things. Like a few weeks ago I was thinking that it would be great if I was dead but a week later I spent time with my nephew and on my way back home I thought about how it would have affected him if I had killed myself.

 

Geeze, taking into consideration what other people think holds me back from a lot -- positive AND negative.

Positive: I'd probably more assertive in my relationship. I'd probably apply for tons of jobs and quit whenever I felt like it.

Negative: I'd fart whenever I felt like it. I'd probably go back to doing drugs.

 

Well, I'm still rebooting. I'll see a doctor before I start dating. I've really got to talk to someone about this.

Good luck singing karaoke. I could never!

 

Yeah, of course.