I always compare myself to other people

It begins with You..
You ARE good enough!

You are the centre of the You-niverse!
Look after No#1... You

Love Yourself bud.. (train the brain and switch Your thoughts around.. You are the BEST!)

Take care of Yourself, bcoz nobody else will..

 

I can totally relate. Always comparing, and fearing being inadequate, or standing out as a freak. But A41:14A's reply rings true, we have to love ourselves. Theres only one you, that's what makes you unique. Be the best "you" you can be. What sets you apart from others may just be your "superpower". For me it is my intellect. I've been labelled a nerd and worse, but truth is my natural ability is a gift to be shared. Unfortunately we all have our kryptonite too, social awkwardness is mine, but that doesn't make us weak.
Get to know yourself, love yourself and learn to be yourself. It's okay to be yourself. It's not okay to go through life trying to be someone else (or pretending to be).

 

First off, you shouldn't hate yourself, no matter what. You're good enough, make sure to always catch that negative self talk before it goes too far. Second, do things that make you feel good and fulfilled, whether that be working out, reading, a hobby, whatever.

 

Hi pal, you need some serenity right now. I'd advise you to read 'Desiderara' by Max Hermann. It is a poem and can be downloaded from the internet.

 

Sorry I posted before I was finished. The poem above addresses inter alia how we feel better or worse than other people. It shows why this is wrong.
It is very chaste and quite uplifting. Take care pal and good luck. The correct title is 'Desiderata' and the poet's name is Max Ehrmann. Darned predictive text while using a tablet drives me mad! Believe me I'm not as illiterate as I appear.

 

Focus on yourself. Firstly, take care of yourself, make sure you are getting enough sleep and eating right, go to a psychologist if you need one, clean your living area, buy new clothes and look presentable, get a neat haircut that suits your face. Spent a lot of time in solitary doing rewarding and important activities, like weightlifing, reading, studying, meditating, learning new skills, working hard jobs, physical labour, learn a language. Basically spend a lot of time doing something that is deemed a valuable skill by society. Do this for a while, once you get in to the swing of it you won't want to stop.

After a 2 or 3 months of working hard on yourself, you will notice 2 things when you socialize:

1. You don't give a fuck about people. You will say what you want, you don't care if other people might not find it interesting, or it makes you look nerdy, you won't give a fuck. You will act however you want to. You will talk about the topics you find interesting. When you hang out with your friends you will be doing things you find interesting.

2. People will respect you a lot more. Some people will try to drag you down, but most people will respect that you are working hard on your own life and making progress. People will actually approach you to talk to you. Since you have been getting good at things that are valuable to society, people see you as someone with high value to them.

This shit changed my life bro. I used to feel the exact same way you described in your post. Your young as fuck too, start improving yourself now and it will compound. In a year you will be a dude with some muscle definition who gets good grades at school and earns good money from his job. In two years you will be pretty big, lining up a scholarship and working a specialty job earning very good money, with an incredible social circle form your confidence in yourself. In 5 years you could be anywhere.

 

No worries brother. Let me know if you need any lifting advice or help.

 

Love this one! Can I steal it? haha

Freaking hell, ever thought to be a motivational speaker @lolos ? Got me all pumped up this morning haha

@SoccerDad

Thank you for opening up to us. You actually did the hardest work, to realise that you are not happy, to open up to people, and to decide to change.

Follow all the advice that have been said above. Make sure you organize them in a strategy. By that I mean write your goals down. Write your limiting beliefs on a piece of paper, and to a ritual to get rid of them (figuratively and literally, by burnin the paper, throwing it away, whatever you feel like).

Also, write done on a sticking note everything you are proud of for yourself, and also ''This is my life, I am THE ONLY ONE enjoying it fully, I am strong, unique, and a Gift of the Universe''. Stick it on your bedroom door or your mirror, and repeat that everyday nd every night.
Self-love and self-confidence are like everything else, perfect practice makes it perfect.

I recommend you to read ''as a man thinketh'' as well. Powerful book on the power of the mind to become the Captain of your Ship.

 

I'm glad bro. My post history has a lot of long posts like that, check it out if you want more.

 

Well, I also got the problem. And a good friend tought me:
Everyone is individually. Stop comparing yourself with other, compare yourself with your past self, and if you did something better, then in the past, you have a reason to be happy and feel,good.

 

My advice is to not feel bad for going against the current these days!
The reason for why you probably feel bad is because you are acting out someone you are not and that can have disastrous effects on your mental well-being. Partially because you are acting out against your nature and your body and mind recognize this dissonance automatically, no matter how much you try to quench it. This also leads to a variety of other issues such as loss of confidence, inability to stand up for yourself, your character and your sincere beliefs (in this case the pros of being your most authentic and genuine self).

I don't say all of this to be mean but rather to give you some useful tools that will boost your sense of self-worth, confidence and integrity based on events from my own life (I am 31 years old today).
During my own childhood and adolescent years, I was my authentic self 90% of the time and noticed instinctively that no matter the social stigma, loneliness, and alienation that it sometimes resulted in, I felt much better having this sense of integrity rather than imitating others who were mostly doing foolish and idiotic things anyways.
It felt like a heavy price to pay many times but today, I am stronger, healthier, fitter, and have a stronger self of sense than many of my former classmates combined.

 

Soccer, what would you prefer, do something that you don't like to be accepted by someone, or do whatever you like and be accepted by someone for that?

''If you don't like your imperfections, someone else will''

 

It is always better being your genuine self and disliked for that person you actually are, than being liked for someone you act or are not. Just keep in mind: The consequences of acting like someone you're not might give you some short-term benefits and approval at the start but will create a lot of misery, anxiety and emptiness in the long run. Especially when the façade starts to crackle and people discover your true self (not your actor-self). That is not the seat you want to be in in the long run because it ultimately makes you end up with nothing.

To make a point from my own life: Me and a handful of other classmates were not the popular kids in class during my High School ("Gymnasium" in Swedish), simply because we were a bit geeky in our own ways (I was the sports freak) and refused to conform to the others' superficial, judging, status-obsessed and snobby world view from which we had nothing to gain, even if we did conform.
We might not have been amongst those popular kids but we had fun together and formed a genuine sense of community and friendship that the others lacked.
Although coming from an (economically) privileged background myself, I just had a gut feeling that these were not good people for me to be around and decided to stay away from them, no matter the social stigma and alienation.

Many of those people who tried desperately to fit in were also those I saw suffering the most because half of their life was built around a lie and others' approval constantly. They have been living that lie pretty much ever since and have very few (if any) genuine connections in life today.
I (on the other hand) stand steady on both my feet, surround myself with genuine and uplifting people, couldn't feel better and care less about others' approval.