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Help Please, I am a very Religious Person (Christian)

Discussion in 'Loneliness' started by Dadaras, Aug 20, 2019.

Help!!

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  1. Dadaras

    Dadaras Fapstronaut

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    I need help, I am struggling, I have been Masturbating for 8 years, and I can say that I have only gone 1 month without PMo, I feel weak, I lost focus, I can’t do anything, even sometime I can’t speak back to people when they speak to me and is so embarrassing, I feel like I have humiliate them but I was blackout, like for example if someone ask me something, I will look at them and I won’t be able to respond back to them it happens when I help in public, I have done to my Managers at work, lot of places, I feel like it is fear and stress and ofcourse it came from Addictions, I really need help, I go to church a lot btw, and my heart is not in it, trying to focus on God (Jesus) but is so hard so I keep failing.
     
  2. Arms.R.heavy

    Arms.R.heavy Fapstronaut

    Nofap does improve social skills, doing a long enough streak will help you a lot.
    Also keep asking God for help, He does answer our prayers.
     
    Enwar and Vendettana like this.
  3. IABBG

    IABBG Fapstronaut

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    Hey man, the fact that you are here and asking for help is already a big step. You could have easily turned to your (and mine) habit of PMO. But this time you didn't. That is already a big thing.

    PMO is so natural, because it caters to our most basic instincts - to procreate. That is why it is so hard to control/get rid of.
    However, remember that the fact you are alive is already a testament to your strength. Being born is a difficult process.
    There will be failures. That is why you have to think about how to minimize their frequency and effects.

    When difficulty/temptation happens, remind yourself WHY and for WHOM you are doing this. You're not doing this for anyone else. You're doing this for a great guy who goes by Dadaras. He deserves your best. You may fail, but just don't give up on yourself and give 100%.

    If you'd like, why don't you treat yourself with something nice? For example, a nice cup of your favourite coffee, cook your favourite meal, take a peaceful walk. Ask yourself what you would like and listen for the answer.

    So go in peace my brother and remember nofap
     
    Coffee Candy likes this.
  4. Man, I understand you. Don't give up! My longer streak so far was 7 days, and even with so little, I already felt way more confident about talking to people. Another thing: God may help us, but he cannot do our obligations for us. We're here for a reason. To improve. If he step in and make everything easier, what's the point at all? Everyone passes through hard times, what matters is going through them.
    May God bless you!
     
  5. Hi friend. I don't know if you are Catholic or not but I would recommend a book. It is by Rosemarie Scott and is called 'Clean of Heart.' You can order it via amazon.
    Your lack of self confidence stems from your feelings of guilt. It also comes from the damage you are in inflicting on your nervous system by compulsive masturbation. This will also have an adverse effect on your energy and concentration levels.
    Read the book I have named and also visit the 'Angelic Warfare' website. As a Christian you might find it helpful. Don't censure yourself you are trying. This means everything and gives you a chance to overcome this vice.
     
    Deleted Account and Dadaras like this.
  6. People go into a rage when I have said this, but it's true. Things didn't start getting better for me until after I left church and left religion.

    I went to a professional counselor and started going to SAA. I'm not perfect but I'm making progress, lots better progress than I ever did with church's "help".

    When I was still going to church and involved in Christianity my life was only getting worse and worse, one failure after the other. I was a huge hypocrite. I finally had enough of my awful life and started taking drastic action to make positive changes.

    I seriously doubt I'll ever go back to church or Christianity. I feel better now than I have in decades.
     
  7. TheGambler

    TheGambler Fapstronaut

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    People don't like when I say, 12 step groups are as dogmatic as any religion. I've been to SAA, stayed sober in AA from booze and drugs for 15 yrs and I'm feeling like you do in regard to the church.

    Success rates in the single digits, implicit standards of belief/practice, you name it 12 step fellowships and the treatment industry have developed into a massive CULT. Hilarious how the worse people were the more respect they garner, yet when someone drinks after decades the response is "He just wasn't working the steps".

    If you go to clergy, therapy, or get a sponsor in the end they will all tell you the same thing. "It's up to you". Even if you believe in God they will still put the responsibility on you, and if you fail its not God's fault. I say this all from experience, no matter how good someone sounds from a religious/professional standpoint Spiritual help means: you get inspiration to do things you wouldn't normally, and it may or may not work.
     
  8. Dadaras

    Dadaras Fapstronaut

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    Thank you my friend
     
  9. Dadaras

    Dadaras Fapstronaut

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    Hi,
    It was never gonna be easy with Christianity, is a challenge, and I can honestly say that I was better in the world than in Religion, because the devil want you to be comfortable in the world, if u are a Christian n u are not going through challenges then u need to question your faith, trust me the devil will attack u more when he knows what God is going to use u more, bro Go back to God and trust him that he can get u out of this mess, I have said that regardless of what I’m going through I will not give up my faith.
     
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  10. Dadaras

    Dadaras Fapstronaut

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    Thank you my friend, I will try that, the problem is at night, because I live alone, I guess I have to be strong
     
  11. Who are your APs? It is very difficult to recover alone.
     
  12. No problem pal.
     
  13. "I was a huge hypocrite". Well, that explains everything. You should try to come back later, without hypocrisy. I know it may be hard, seem that even much church leaders are this way, but if you REALLY follow it, I can assure you won't feel the same way.
    (sorry for possible wrongs, English isn't my native language)
     
    Dadaras likes this.
  14. TheGambler

    TheGambler Fapstronaut

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    Something just struck me about this post, "Help please I'm a religious person". Like help me I'm trying to quit religion! Good for you that's harder than quitting porn!!!! hahaha
     
    Tao Jones likes this.
  15. Dadaras

    Dadaras Fapstronaut

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    I am holding onto God, I may know scriptures that directly teaches good things but if your heart is not in it, u are just opening your mouth for nothing, I got to give my all to God but as I said is a process, addiction is not something that can disappear just like that, it takes time, but we will get there
     
    Deleted Account and Tao Jones like this.
  16. I'm sure we will :)
     
  17. The Lone Ranger

    The Lone Ranger Fapstronaut

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    I’m somewhere in between. I’ve kept my faith at heart but realised that the strategy and tactics to handle this mess wasn’t to be found in the church or in the bible. They provide lousy help, no offence to anyone, this is my experience only.

    The biggest problem when seeking strength in religion to overcome this addiction is that every time you take a wrong step, fall down, mess up - you’ve failed as a christian and your god as well. That hits you hard, your confidence, causing shame and guilt.

    The truth is, your faith has nothing to do with it. This is about neither your gods strength nor your own. This is about how your brain works, how it’s put together, about chemicals, about life style, about rewards, about coping with life. The answers is to come up with a plan to change an unhealthy habit. You need tactics (short term) and strategy (long term). Down to earth, with no need to blow this out of proportion. For many of us it is a big deal, yes, but it has nothing to do with you being a good or bad person. Yes, God cares, but I in no way see this as a spiritual issue.

    Best of wishes on your nofap journey everyone!
     
    Dadaras likes this.
  18. The church is often unhelpful in resolving matters of addiction. This is unfortunate.

    The one great thing that faith brings to the table is that the forgiveness of God releases us from shame. This is a critical piece of recovery, and it is a great stumbling block. In my own life, I have wronged so many. How can I ever be forgiven for all I have done? But, if all offense is ultimately against God, and if he has forgiven me, then what need is there for me to hold onto shame any longer? I am not excused form making amends wherever I am able, but I am freed from the crushing shame that kept me chained to my addiction. It was a huge turning point for me and something that I could not do for myself -- it had to be provided for me by a higher power. That, at least, is my current understanding of things!
     
    Enwar, The Lone Ranger and Roady like this.
  19. Dadaras

    Dadaras Fapstronaut

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    Exactly, God looks in the heart not the outside appearance
     
  20. PJT

    PJT Fapstronaut

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    You got this, try and beat your previous best streak and the results will follow. It sounds like you can't shake off the fog stage. Your moment of clarity will come just continue to believe.
     
    Tao Jones likes this.

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