My Addiction Consumed my Intellect

Well said. I don't know really how to respond to this, but you have hit on some good points.

 

sounds exactly like me.

i was soo addicted to the game of sexual 'Chess', i got so good at it, and used my intellect to play, i could win everytime, as long as i could cum. it's weird how if i was not actually sexually aroused, girls would KNOW!! you can't FAKE IT.



that's the part that blew me away most of all. it was a psychic connection to the girl. it was real in a very real sense.

but something overtook my consciousness, in it's weakened state. that's the whole point, these things want you to lose awareness, lose consciousness, so they can control you. they want MORE than just economic slavery. they want slavery of your will and soul, and this is the game that THEY play on you. to conquer your will, to it's deepest evolutionary depths. til they conquer the will of every cell in your body to survive.

once they conquer your will to live, then they murder you, because the game is over

we have to realize, that these beings are UGLY and do not like sexual attractiveness. they rape, they do not know what 'sex' is. they astrally rape, subdue the will not to give pleasure but to inflict suffering

 

Yea it leaves you brain dead after a while

 

I agree with everything your saying however the only thing I disagree with is the use of 'consumed', just because it implies it has been consumed, digested and ejected.. for good. I don't think this is the case, I feel porn has smothered your creativity and intellect, it's chucked so much mud and dirt on it that it cannot be seen or felt anymore. That is what recovery does.. It allows for the mud and dirt to be cleaned off, some of us have more dirt and mud than others so therefore it takes longer to remove but somewhere underneath all this grime is your self as you used to know it. Yeah you've been in recovery long, but deep down it's there.. Im sure of it.
Yes this may sound a little bit wishy washy and naive but I feel that the creativity like you said is just the direction in which you place your energy... your energy used to be consumed by porn, now its being consumed in recovery, eventually once healed and brain is rewired, your energy will be placed in more creative uses and your natural intellect and creativity will return.

 

With all due respect, guys, Allan's post is from March 2017. Chances are good his intellect has improved since then. If he doesn't post much anymore, there's a good reason for it.

Everyone's intellect can be reclaimed. We're self-healing creatures.

 

I'm in that s**t right now. I feel like life is passing by and can't really do nothing to enjoy myself. I had some glimpses how my state gonna be once I pass the storm. Sometimes I'm wondering if I have a big illness. I'm 12 months hardmode btw.

 

So how i keep fighting
Carrying burden of addiction on my shoulders
I keep doing my work perfectly as usual
But it requires double the effort to keep the same level
Me & fap are racing in an endless track