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Whats the point?

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by Deleted Account, Aug 5, 2019.

  1. I started NoFap 2 years back. It made my life better as I was a heavy addict.

    I had Pied and all kinds of problems.

    So my goal was a healthy sex with woman... a common goal many of us shate here. To get better and get a real relationship. Yay.

    So I got women in my life. And since than the downfall started.

    I have not noticed with my 1st gf I was with for a year. All seemed ok. I was progressing towards normal sex life. We had good sex. Yay.

    Than we separated and ive hit the hard mode again. 200 days without any O not even a wet dream. The progress was quite slow, but at the end.. I walked few km daily, even in winter. I excercised daily. And I felt like God. Than i had this great idea.. lets get a woman!

    So I did as I thought.

    Yay.

    ...

    Sex with woman depletes u the same way masturbation does. Theres no magical vaginal way around it. U loose the semen. U loose your life. Period.

    And so did I. After 1st night with her I was terified. Because soon after (2 days) I looked 5 to 10 years older and I felt like shit. Again. From 200 to almost zero. Than I waited one week and retryed. Same but not so brutal crash (because I was not going 200 > almost zero but like 50 to zero)

    I retryed one more time the 3rd week.

    And now Im at rock bottom.

    3 nights.

    3 x fun with no result but fun.

    And everything is gone.

    ....


    Yay


    ...


    I deleted tinder today. And I just wait till I regain more strength to tell her - NO
    MORE

    I basically told her last time I saw her that this is not good 4 me. So it will not come from a clear sky to her.

    Its over.

    I will not waste my life this way.

    This time its MY decission. Its not like before. This is me getting rid of woman from my life.

    This fake sex, where kids are not created.. sex for the sake of having sex... is complete nonsense. And I will not spend more time explaining why.

    So now I ask...

    Whats the point?

    This was a hell of a journey. And I got results I was not able to predict I will get in my wildest dreams or nightmares... I always chased sex.. I wanted it. Now I finally know what it is... and I say... no more.

    I will have sex ONLY if kids will be the result.

    They are worth my life force.

    Fun is not worth my life force.

    Someone elses satisfaction is NOT worth my life force.

    So yes, I will do the crazy thing.

    I will split with my gf so I can live in celibacy.

    Huge step it is guys. Feels insane. But I will do it. And than I will be sad and alone for some time.

    But pain makes us better, sacrifice makes us better, discomfort makes us better...

    Sadness will pass. Lonelines will pass. And I will feel and look great again, ready to conquer. Im sad and depressed now anyway, because I used everything I had to have fun. Cant get much worse than where I am.

    Wish me good luck.

    Thank you!
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 5, 2019
  2. ForeverChanges

    ForeverChanges Fapstronaut

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    What about sex with no orgasm? Like Carezza or something like that. The problem is when you fall in love you dont give a fuck. I have realized Nofap makes you a lot more romantic and many times you just follow your balls. Your penis is like a compass and you just go where it says.
    My aspiration is to not have an orgasm again but l dont want to give up love. Finding someone who l really love and do something like carezza or learn some tantric shit so to have sex with her. I dont know, l suppose lm a f....ing romantic.
    I have been thinking a lot about what you wrote, l mean before l read your post so it is interesting to know your thoughts. I hope more people sharevtheir opinions.
    Cheers bro, keep it strong!
     
  3. Well sex after 200 days.. u just cant do karezza. Simple.

    I cant imagine keeping the streak going while I have sexual encounters and stick my penis to vagina.

    Maybe Im wrong
     
  4. Was fast.. she wrote to me smth like

    How r u? We go swimming?

    I wrote.. since u ask, I feel bad.

    She: why so, can I help?

    Me: its about the thing I spoke about last time. I gave for 10 kids, now its missing somewhere ofc. Its not worth it to me.


    She: ok


    And thats it guys. Thats what I was really really worth to her... its not worth it.

    THIS WAS A MAJOR PERSONAL LESSON.

    Good luck. Be well stay strong. Kick some ass. Keep ur semen. Be aware. Do as u feel like. Never give up!

    I start my HARD MODE NOW. AND I WILL GO FOR A VERY LONG TIME. CONSIDER THIS A REAL TIME START OF A JOURNAL.

    But I will not update daily, more like monthly.

    Started from the bottom...
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 6, 2019
  5. Ps: I know I made a perfect decission. Good job Epic!!
     
    ForeverChanges likes this.
  6. ForeverChanges

    ForeverChanges Fapstronaut

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    Good journey bro, understand ur point.
     
    goodnice 2.0 and Deleted Account like this.
  7. A lot of people are looking for a deeper connection with someone. Meaningless sex to me is exactly like you said, a waste of energy. Do you think that was missing? The deeper connection? You mention having children one day, but swearing off women. How do those two meet for you in your mind? It makes sense to me but I am curious about how you see it.
     
    Davidphd1866 and Deleted Account like this.
  8. Deeper connection would change nothing about the physical fact that ejaculating depletes your LIFE energy the most. I cant think of any activity which depletes you so drastically, and I compare this even to illegal substances I used to experiment with when I was much younger. (There goes my credibility - whatever)

    My mindset now is, that I will have sex, when I will want to have children. Which I do not want atm.

    I will ejaculate to create life - thats how its supposed to be. All this hormonal/physical anticonception just detached us from what sex really is.

    Its a act from which NEW LIFE is supposed to arise. Full dot. Its NOTHING ELSE. Everything else is a human concept, and its wrong. My opinion. Its bending what nature has intended. And it has its consequences.

    IF I ever meet a woman, which is worthy of my semen, she will get it. To have kids with me. Not to swallow it. Not to accept it in her hormonally shut down and dead vagina. Nothing of that.

    If that doesnt ever happen, Im ok with it. Procreation is the most basic biological need of the body. Im higher than that. Deeper than that. Im not my body.

    My body is my house. Place I value and try to take good care of. But I dont really care too much about what this house wants to do, beyond making sure all the needs for this house to stay strong and healthy are satisfied.

    Ps: and I believe that sexual celibacy is a very good component to keep the house in its top shape
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 6, 2019
    Davidphd1866 likes this.
  9. Keeping my streak going will be a bit mote motivated now. I did not break up with a woman to grab my dick and masturbate.
     
  10. You were not in love. Sex is different then. Maybe that's what it is. The sex seems pointless to you. It's a reminder of somthing you don't have. So you feel shitty. It's crazy theory I know I'm just brainstorming here.

    I get you get hangovers from sex it makes you weak but hitting rock bottem I think that's more of a psychological effect rather than a biological effect
     
  11. My physical and mental was hit a lot. Have u missed the part where I stated I aged 5 years 2 days after I had a wild night with her? Or the part where I said Im sad and depressed now (and that I was feeling like God before that?)

    The fact u loose your semen does not care if you was or wasnt in love while doing so.

    Read what I write, if you want to know MY story.
    Im not really interrested in interpretations from ppl who know nothing about me nor about my situation. Dont take it too personally.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 6, 2019
  12. losing semen is biological reason, i said to hit rock bottom it's probably psychological i dont need to read your whole life story to express my opinion on that.

    dont worry i dont take it personally you wont hear from me again unless i want you to.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 6, 2019
  13. Like the physical and mental arent completely interconected...

    So u took it personally...

    Anyway its the other way, I will not hear from you until I want, because I can simply put u on a ignore list, which Im inclined to do, but I give u a chance
     
  14. alexg1709

    alexg1709 Fapstronaut

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    I am happy that you made a choice that makes you happy and wish you good luck on being Celebate .

    However I disagree that this is a solution for everyone. We need love companionship and sex in limited amounts.

    It sounds that you might suffer from sexual addiction as well?
     
  15. Don't care
     
  16. Not sure about sex addiction. Ever tryed abstaining from orgasm for 100s of days?
    How was your addiction going after that?


    But for real


    What made me sound like a sexual adict to u?

    What IS sexual adiction to u?

    Becase other than asexuals everyone craves sex. Addiction?

    Just elaborate, it doesnt make any sense to me
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 7, 2019
  17. The semen retention thing doesn't make a lot of sense to me but I respect the decision. I guess for me it's like choosing not to smile at people or laugh or enjoy any other connection to someone. But I am not you, so I don't judge this just find it a little hard to comprehend.

    I know there is a biological component to everything but there are animals who are sexual in a playful way, as a way to bond with members of their group.
     
    FX-05 likes this.
  18. For me the truth is oposite, sexual abstinence will allow me to smile on ppl, smile on myslef, open my heart more, be more happy and share that with others.

    It allows me to be really present, to realize what is really happening.

    It gives me energy to reach my goals, it makes my body and mind stronger, it makes me feel and look better.

    It makes my energy cleaner and more pure as well. It makes me feel that energy more.

    Depleting semen makes no sense to me. That bonding part u speak about... its there so that after a sex, when a BABY IS CONCIEVED, u stay with the female and help her untill she gaves birth. Than other hormones are dispersed to your brain, so u take care of a baby.

    If the bonding is made on this basis, without making children, its not for me. If I get someone who will bond with me on other level than this fake "we expecting children now, just, we really dont because of anticonception" than great.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  19. Oh and I totally agree! Its not a solution for everyone. We are all different. This is what I had to do for my well being.

    It would be cool of I was able to be happy, to have my previous drive for sports and healthy life style, to have my willpower and determination, and all this while having sex with this lady all the time.

    Unfortunatelly... I cant.

    So I need to choose. And Ive chosen all the previous but sex. And its not easy..

    Am I excited about this? Does it make me feel happy and great?

    It makes me fuckin miserable :/

    But I will get thru the hard part somehow

    Ive just broken up for gods sake... :/
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Aug 7, 2019
    Deleted Account likes this.
  20. So I deleted Tinder... broke up.. and today I received a msg from the most hot girl Ive met 2 months back, that she is up to meeting me.

    Thats how this always works.

    I will not tell her no. I want to meet ppl. And I enjoy the company of beautiful woman.

    Maybe - if she is still into me - I can have some kind of agreement with her, before we move onwards.

    I cant afford to have too much orgasms.
    I can imagine 1 ejaculation in 14 days might be ok.

    No woman will be ok with this tho..
     
    Deleted Account likes this.

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