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If you relapse, at least don't relapse to "boy-girl/regular" scenes, do it to solo women

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by ultrafabber, Aug 3, 2019.

  1. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    I am not, in any shape or form, suggesting it's ok to relapse, do whatever you can to NOT relapse. Do NOT use this idea/topic to justify/rationalize relapses or binges. This is to make it easier for you in the long run.

    It was very hard to put my finger on this but i remember how relapsing to "regular" scenes made me feel even shittier and made me want to masturbate even more to forget about it.

    It's interesting how i never binged on solo women (pics/gifs etc) but i almost always binged (multiple times per day) on "boy-girl" scenes.

    There's just something about those that messes with your head. I keep saying it's the cuckoldry aspect but nobody believes me. There's just something that flips in your brain when you watch others have sex and you watch the woman you want with another guy. It is not something pleasant and you'd be so ashamed if this happened in real life. You'd have a wake-up call and wonder how you got so low. But somehow, behind the monitor, you don't get this wake-up call because you think nobody sees you.

    It's not however about being seen, it's what you end up doing and end up naturally disgusted by yourself. The same as if you masturbated to pedo stuff, even if nobody knows about it, YOU know and it messes you up. You'd not want to meet the people you masturbated to and you'd be petrified if they actually saw a video of you masturbating to them.

    What would he think of you? Will he see you as a man? No, not really. Her? No, she won't. They will lose respect for you.

    As for solo girls, (NOT THAT I ENCOURAGE WATCHING THEM) at least they're "there" for you, not for another guy. You're the "star", you're not the one cheering from the crowd at the star getting laid.

    To be more precise, in solo woman her attention is on YOU. In b/g, her attention is on HIM. You are IGNORED.

    So please consider this - if you have a moment when you think you might relapse, PLEASE DO NOT DO IT TO "BOY-GIRL" scenes/pics/gifs (not even POV). Use a solo woman. Do not use solo women that "lead or tease" you, just watch solo stripping or posing. B-G scenes fuck you up.

    It's like relapsing with cocaine instead of coffee when you're trying to quit stimulants... it's better not to use either, but if you relapse, DO NOT USE COCAINE.
     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2019
  2. [​IMG]

    What kind of advice is that ? lol Porn is porn, no matter what type of scene you watch if its artificial stimulation it does damage to your brain.

    Your comparison to what you wrote there can be explained as "Next time if you need that hit of heroin, make sure to snort the heroin and not inject it into your veins because the hit you feel will be weaker and thus less addictive" that is absurd, because addict knows no 'middle ground' when it comes to dose.

    The point is to completely give up porn, get it out of your lifestyle not to find shortcuts or anything of that nature.

    Look, there is no other way to quit porn completely unless you face your urges and deal with them properly. There are no shortcuts and magic buttons, you have to face the discomfort that is the byproduct of compulsive porn use, the reward waits at the other side.
    But if you postpone the discomfort by relapsing or worse, binging ... harsh truth is you'll have to face the discomfort of urges again, and the more you postpone it, as the time goes by the discomfort will be bigger and bigger and at some point of time you will have to face the discomfort that you postponed all this time. And it won't be any easier than it was before, actually it will be more difficult.

    So, advice to all of you here, speaking from my own experience: If you have to relapse ... don't relapse because its your brain playing tricks on you. You don't need porn and you're good without it, don't relapse to any of porn and get your shit together. Face the urge now, no matter how uncomfortable it is now, if you relapse it won't get any easier later. But if keep on beating urges, it will get easier.Therefore, embrace the pain you feel in this moment, because your brain is healing, suffer now so you can be victorious later. I guarantee you, its better now than later.
     
  3. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    This shows you have no understanding of addiction. If it was that easy, nobody would browse this forum, everyone would decide they should stop PMO and just stop PMO. There would not exist any Alcoholics anonymous group, no addiction therapy or programs. People would just say "stop" and they stop.

    The reality is that it's far from being so simple and this topic shows that (even if it's skewed to make it look worse) https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/how-long-have-you-been-trying-to-quit-pmo.236364/

    • 50% of the people on this forum have been trying to quit for over 5 years

    • 75% of the people on this forum have been trying to quit for over 1 year

    What i'm trying to tell people is that they need to be smart about it and being smart about it is understanding there are various degrees of addiction related to

    1. time spent on PMO (not just "streaks" but literally time spent pmoing)
    2. content used

    We can all agree that watching sissyfication porn (sissy hypnosis/joi) is extremely bad for example. While watching "regular" porn is still really bad, it's not AS BAD as sissy hypnosis/joi. Following that continuum, watching solo women is still bad but still not as bad as b/g porn and certainly not as bad as sissy hypnosis/joi

    It might help if you would try to directly compare sissy hypno to solo women stripping. You will see there is definitely a huge difference and that one is certainly not as bad as the other.

    Also, please stop using gifs, they are annoying and mess up the discussion
     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2019
  4. CTRL + DEL

    CTRL + DEL Fapstronaut

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    This definitely goes down in the Top 10 most idiotic posts on nofap, and believe me, you had a lot of competition.

    50% here meaning 21 votes in an isolated survey hardly anyone paid attention to. That's your source for this entire post lol
     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2019
  5. You dont have to tell me. I have been addicted to porn for 10 years, i'd watch it 9 times a day and in fact lesbian scenes in my case would get my motor running more hardcore.

    And no, you dont have to relapse. Its your brain tricking you for that dopamine fix. If someone knows how painful this process is that would be me and dozens of other people here.

    Maybe you are right, fapping to this type of scene is less bad than this type of scene. But i guess to some people its rather subjective. Generally speaking no matter how bad that scene is, its still bad and hurts you in many ways. My point was that people dont rely on whether what is less wrong to relapse on, but rather that they should do their best not to relapse in the first place.
     
    Summer Son and CTRL + DEL like this.
  6. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    I literally started my topic emphasizing this.

    I also never said any of them are good, just that some are worse than others.

    Gulit and shame are primary drivers of addiction and some content creates significantly more guilt and shame.

    Guilt and shame make you relapse more and binge more.
     
  7. Yes, therefore why would someone who goes on a full-on binge say "You know what, this is less bad i think i'll relapse to that scene" we both know that that's not how it works.
     
  8. Also, this topic can lead so many unstable people in their reboots to a relapse.

    So to anyone who's reading this, do not rely on this topic. This man has no scientific evidence on what's bad and what's good. I get his point, but he elaborated it so damn badly that it can lead people to relapse. Generally speaking, any porn is bad porn any type of artificial stimulation is bad for your brain and you need to get away from it because it hurts your recovery process. This topic is one bad mixture of one's rationalization.
     
    CTRL + DEL likes this.
  9. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    I don't get it.

    We agree that

    1. it's not ok, in any shape or form, to relapse
    2. it's not ok to use justifications/rationalizations to relapse or binge
    3. no porn is good
    4. some porn is worse than other porn (sissy hypnosis is worse than solo women for example)

    Your conclusion: "This topic is one bad mixture of one's rationalization"
     
  10. FormerFapaholic

    FormerFapaholic Fapstronaut

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    OP, you've contradicted yourself on what you've said there. The best option is to not relapse at all. Or at least try not to.
     
  11. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    For the love of God, i didn't say it's ok to relapse.
     
  12. I don't get the criticism, all the guy is trying to say is that in the very unfortunate event that you should relapse, you're better off watching only women to prevent feeling cucked. It's just an advise.
     
    ultrafabber likes this.
  13. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    Dont act like an uneducated simpleton.

    Dont try to compensate with crass language the fact that you can't form an argument.

    I dont really understand how they dont even get the point but disagree cause thats the cool thing to do or something
     
    Last edited: Aug 4, 2019
  14. CTRL + DEL

    CTRL + DEL Fapstronaut

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    So let me get this straight.

    You already quoted my comment before saying you reported it for "rude language".

    So when you realized I ignored you and the mods took no action, you proceeded to delete the old comment and then quoted me again, this time calling me an "uneducated simpleton" in the hope of sparking an argument?

    If this isn't trolling, idk what is.
     
    IR254 and FormerFapaholic like this.
  15. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    No, the mods deleted it cause apparently its againts the rules to let somene know he is getting reported.

    I'm calling out uneducated behavior, and with your second post you just confirmed that's all you can do.
     
  16. FormerFapaholic

    FormerFapaholic Fapstronaut

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    In other words, the lesser of two evils.
     
  17. Don't argue guys, its worthless. @ultrafabber i get your point, but i think you misinterpreted it in a such way where it may appear as a form of rationalization which may lead some people to a relapse.

    Its a point of any topic, right ? You open it, with a specific message and you wait for other people to express their opinions, i expressed mine. No hard feelings.
    Might appear as i was degrading your opinion, truly that was not my intention. Generally speaking, do not take it personally whatever you see at this place, its internet after all. You'll face thousands of subjective opinions, ideologies etc. Stay true to yourself, cheers.
     
    CTRL + DEL likes this.
  18. Kakaroto1989

    Kakaroto1989 Fapstronaut

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    I get the point and I agree with it. I actually thought about it before. At the end of the road if one PMO to a solo video it will be a relapse one like it or not, but it is true that the shame and guilt is lesser. Last time I relapsed was to a softer kind of porn, compared to what my brain would really want to watch and I can even say that it was kind of easier to start my new streak, feeling more confident because it was like living in the past. I watch myself where I started 19 year ago and boy... lot of things have changed but only in a bad way.
     
    recon117 and ultrafabber like this.
  19. IR254

    IR254 Fapstronaut

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    I get the point, but I think it's not really realistic in most cases: If someone relapses, does he in this specific moment have the amount of self-control, which is needed to stay away from b/g? Probably not. Otherwise he could have used that self-control to not relapse in the first place.
     
    recon117 likes this.

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