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Working through the steps together?

A place for rebooters to meet and discuss 12-Step programs in conjunction with their reboot

  1. I am fairly new to attending SAA Meetings in my town and wonder if any of you who is experienced in the 12 steps and passionately committed to sobriety would have time and interest to work with me through the steps. I plan to get a Sponsor but double cannot do any harm to success. All replies here or PM are appreciated.
     
  2. Minsc

    Minsc Fapstronaut

    While I'm not experienced I'll help in any way I'm able.

    I attend Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) and right now I'm quite literally in the stage of "bringing the body". Looking through the SA white book (pg 63) it's informally called "Step Zero". "We participated in the fellowship of the program." One can look at it this way, before the 12-steps we had all been taking other steps to get there.

    Listening to the other members really does help, much the same as reading stories here from the NoFap community as a whole. It helps us realize we are not alone.
     
    kammaSati likes this.
  3. It does help to tell and hear other members, read and share, knowing we‘re not alone with our stuff. Haven‘t heard of step zero and white book, will search for it. I attended 3 SAA meetings so far and CoDA meetings since February. So far so good. But I realize I need to get it structured better and really work through the steps. I am happy to share experiences and understanding.
     
  4. @Minsc here is what i found ...
    https://thisismap.com/patients/recovery-blog/step-zero

    hm ... i can relate to that. very well said:

    „I need to keep up the Step Zero willingness every day. This desperation of a drowning man has to continue, or else, I run the risk of complacency. What I’m unwilling to do is see where that leads me.“

    boyohboy ... does that ring a bell
     
  5. Minsc

    Minsc Fapstronaut

    Good find.

    "My Step Zero was long before my bottom."

    This here is why I find it difficult, I've yet to hit my bottom, at least in my mind. Giving up control is a difficult thing to do.
     
    kammaSati likes this.
  6. Giving up control? You have control? ;) Over what? PMO?
     
  7. Minsc

    Minsc Fapstronaut

    Giving up the illusion of control?
     
  8. I assume all is all right then, you have no problems with addiction or compulsive behavior?
     
  9. Minsc

    Minsc Fapstronaut

    I certainly do have issues with addictions or compulsive behaviors. Porn is one of them.
     
  10. I see. You haven‘t hit bottom yet. What then does it look like your bottom?
    What has yet to happen?
     
  11. HeartCenter

    HeartCenter Fapstronaut

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    Thank you both for this discussion. I'm just trying to do one day at a time and be of service, go to meetings, step work, etc...
     
    kammaSati likes this.
  12. MisterDirection

    MisterDirection Fapstronaut

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    I did not really get much from the phone meetings...I felt it was a good way to slide under the radar.

    I opted to attend celebrate recovery meetings in person. I am also doi.g a steak study on step 4 at the moment working on my inventory.

    I find the personal interactions and APs and my sponsor much more beneficial. I still hit up SAA phone meetings if I am having a hard day or sometimes just so that I feel like I am keeping focused.

    I look forward to I'll reacting here
     
  13. MisterDirection

    MisterDirection Fapstronaut

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    And after reflecting I think I was tryi g to prove that I didnt need to be in the group at first. Denial or minimizing what ever. That's my feeling.

    I think CR allowed me to get the shame and guilt out of the way or on the side at least and let me be honest with myself for the first time in a while
     
    kammaSati likes this.
  14. It looks like I might have found a Sponsor at my local meeting group ... Now that it is getting more concrete, I am not so sure if I want it ;) Guess it's the fear of inventory and amends and all that stuff. Ugh.
     
    Gratefulforchange likes this.
  15. MisterDirection

    MisterDirection Fapstronaut

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    Dont psych yourself out

    I tried to put EVERYTHING I've ever done on it....doesnt work

    For example...just do alcohol or M whatever is most important...do something different on the next 12 step focus
     
    kammaSati likes this.
  16. Gratefulforchange

    Gratefulforchange Fapstronaut

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    CookyMonster, so glad you found a sponsor! I would love to talk program/12 step on here but see very little activity. Feel free to message me, check in, ask questions or whatever. Or, just keep coming back. It works!
    Keep the faith
     
  17. @Gratefulforchange Thank you for your message. Yes, it works :) That is a good idea to talk the program here, for all who are interested in it to join in the conversation. When there are more pvt personal details we do not want to share in public we can always use privat conversation for that
     
    Gratefulforchange likes this.
  18. Minsc

    Minsc Fapstronaut

    All it takes is for people to talk for discussion to happen. :)

    Since I last posted I went and got a sponsor, if only a temporary one. Making that decision has definitely helped. Work does keep me away from attending the meetings on time, which is unfortunate. Aside from SA, I've also been looking into EA (Emotions Anonymous). Scheduling can be an issue as one EA group holds their meeting the same time as SA. There's also a church group I'm interested in attending, which is at the same time as well. I've been making more an effort to reach out and message other people in the SA group. Breaking free of the isolation, one step at a time.

    My step one seems to be slow going, stuff just hasn't flowed. Though if I worked daily on it I'm sure I'd be done by now.

    I'll gladly take up the offer of private messages.
     
    Gratefulforchange and kammaSati like this.
  19. This coming Thursday I will have a first meeting with my Sponsor here in town. I contemplated a lot about step 1 and 2 and somehow I seem to understand. Admitting it is an addiction and I cannot control it.
    The higher power ... I know there is but have no name for it. Any ideas around that?
     
    Gratefulforchange likes this.
  20. Minsc

    Minsc Fapstronaut

    I use God, Higher Power, truth, the highest power, that which created us in a somewhat agnostic sense. The greatest, the most high, that which I can never be above.
     

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