Porn = Cheating?

Worse than cheating, tbh.

 

No, I don't think that watching Porn is equivalent to cheating when people are in relationship. But I do think that they wasted their erotic energy in porn so they are ruining their bounds with their beloved partners.

 

Depends. Are you in a relationship?

 

Definetly not the same thing.

 

In a way it is. You are getting off to women (or men) that aren't your spouse/significant other.

 

I personally don't think it's like cheating. But I do know some women who think that. I know some women who basically think why does the guy need porn if they have them, and it makes them think that they're not sexually satisfying the guy or doing it for the guy.

It's a somewhat ludicrous perspective if you understand the coolidge effect.

 

I believe it is not but sooner or later sexual problems in relationship will appear. It is just a drug.

 

Not that simple I think, there is no threat of a mate being stolen(which is what the biological impulse driving the concept of cheating likely really is), so no I wouldn't say it's cheating in the traditional sense. It is, however destructive to a relationship in other ways, as everyone here is likely aware of.

 

Yes, it is absolutely cheating (if your partner is against you using porn, if they are not I suppose it isn't). You are getting it off with other people behind your partners back. That's what cheating is - being sexual/romantic with other people without your partner's approval. The way I see it, it doesn't matter whether it's porn or you having flirty chatting with other people over WhatsApp; if your partner is not OK with it, you are committing betrayal.

Sure, one sided viewing of video is not the same level of cheating as two sided flirting with somebody over text, which is not the same level as having a kissing session with somebody behind your partners back, which is not the same level as having sex with somebody in real life. Or like having sex with somebody once, in a moment of weakness, is not the same as having a dedicated affair with somebody for a decade.

There are different levels of cheating and different levels of betrayal. But betrayal is betrayal. If your partner is against this behavior and you know it, and still do it, it is sexual betrayal (aka cheating).

 

One could argue with that (the mate being stolen away). For example, here I am: a highly sexual and deeply passionate female that live (involuntarily) like a nun because my husband prefers to jerk off in the bathroom.

 

Agree with this, but remains that they are completely different things.

 

Good point. I never thought I needed to have the conversation, since he told me that he hated porn, never watched it and "wasn't like other guys". Meanwhile he masturbated every day to it. I would never had married such a man if I knew about the habit sooner. I've had five years without much sex because his hand and virtual women got it all. I mean, if that's not cheating I don't know what is.

 

Reverse roles. You want her, and shes wanking to other man daily via internet, and you arent getting none. If not cheating than surely betrayal.

 

Porn in a relationship comes down to a few factors. Honesty/trust, its effect on the relationship, and its effect on the person watching it.

Honesty/trust:

Dishonesty/lying in a relationship is not okay. If you and your partner are both open/honest about any porn use, and are both accepting of it, then there are no issues here. If either of you feels the need to lie, there's a problem. It also likely means you have a problem with porn. After all, if your habit was so innocent and harmless, would you really feel the need to hide it? It's the same as say an alcoholic vs a social drinker. The alcoholic will often hide it, because deep down they know they have a problem.

Effect on the relationship:

Porn can have a positive or negative effect on a relationship depending on the situation. One example is a couple who watch porn together occasionally for some inspiration/to spice things up. That could be positive as long as both of them are comfortable with it. Or another positive example would be if one partner has a low sex drive, and the other has a high sex drive, and they've established and agreed that the person with the high sex drive should just masturbate/watch porn sometimes, since the lower sex drive person can't keep up. Then it's positive too.

On the other hand, if porn is causing you to lose interest in your partner, or you're not having sex with them because you're getting all of that from porn, or you're trying to pressure your partner into trying things you've seen in porn - all of that is unhealthy, and will tear apart a relationship.

Effect on the person watching it:

This is the one we all know about already here. Look, I'm not one of those people who think porn is evil, or that it's impossible to watch porn without getting addicted. That's horse-shit. But it's equally horse-shit to claim the opposite, that it's not without problems, or that it's not addictive. Porn is similar to alcohol in this respect, for many people it's a bit of occasional fun, but for many people, especially many people here, it's a serious and very harmful addiction. Even if your partner is okay with your porn use, if you have a problem, you need to stop, regardless. The same goes in reverse. Even if you think porn can be harmless fun, if you see your partner has a problem with it, you need to make them aware of them problem, and not tolerate it. Or they'll do themselves harm.

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So is porn cheating? Well if you've agreed not to do it, and you still do, yes, it's a form of infidelity.

Is porn in a relationship bad? If you're open and honest, and it isn't causing you or your partner any problems, no. If you have to lie about it, or it has any negative effect on your relationship/sex lives, or you have a problem with porn, yes.

If you're in any doubt, speak to YOUR partner. They're the only one who can tell you if it'd count as cheating in your given relationship. If you want a good relationship, communication is key folks.

That said, if you're here on NoFap, there's a good chance you have a bad relationship with porn. So even if your partner is accepting, it's probably best to avoid it.

 

I now believe it is. It has cost me my sex life with my wife and I do not know if I can ever get it back.
Young guys - take heed. Your cheating will cost you a lot.

 

Sorry to hear that. I hope you can bring back the sexual spark with your wife. And soon

 

Anyone who thinks porn is cheating in a relationship has had the woman in their life brainwash them into guilt. Woman do not get to control how you yhink its a form of emotional abuse.

That being said porn does in my eyes rob your partner of a more fulfilling relationship and enkoyanle sex life which is why a relationship can be better eithout PMO. But then again you can always argue that PMO can help relationships too. If youre a PA it would probily help getting rid of it. But my personal belief ks that the middle ground is the healthiest option any extreme in one direction or the either tends to have harmful side effects in my eyes

 

OMG, that's a really sad thing, you both should discuss this issue together and work with a social worker or any kind of behavior therapist to solve this issue, It's urgent and vital.