46 and only trying to stop for the 1000th time. This time I have stopped

It's your mind playing tricks on you my friend.. Its been overridden by this soul destroying addiction.. Keep on marching on, the man you are supposed to be awaits

 

I am also 46. It's never too late to get going on a PMO-free life. Better things are just ahead. Not gonna lie, though -- it's going to be a heckuva fight. Get a support team assembled and start leaning on them. Cut off your source of P and, no matter what it takes, stop touching yourself in a sexual way. I believe you *can* stop. I am cheering you on.

 

If God give you life until 76 then you still have 30 years more to live. Its pretty long time. Enjoy it on PMO free

 

P keeps us trapped through secrecy and shame. It isolates us from real human connection. One of the keys to breaking free is to move toward real, healthy community and away from the isolation and false intimacy of P.

 

Friend, I am ten years older than you but our situation is similar. You do not want to my age and still dealing with this shit! I cannot believe my wife is so understanding, but I am sure I have disappointed the hell out of her.
My willpower never worked for more than a month. I think maybe 1/1000 guys can totally succeed with willpower.
So, I urge you to get help. Find a therapist or psychologist who has experience with addictions and you feel comfortable speaking to this about. I was too scared to fully open up to my psychologist. I lost many years due to this fear. I finally did it. Why did I not do it before? It did not surprise her when I finally broached the topic. But we have made the strongest progress ever since I told her, and I feel better about myself and my future than I have in years.
I really hope you get help and that you are not offended by what I have said.
I wish you the best.