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Permanent singlehood, I ponder...

Discussion in 'Abstinence, Retention, and Sexual Transmutation' started by LOSEmyselftoSAVEmyself, Jul 21, 2019.

  1. Sometimes I think being single until I die (I'm 45) might be the way to go.

    The reason is that I've gotten awfully skeptical about women lately.

    They don't want to talk much except to inspect my financial propensity.

    Who needs this crap?

    The answer is that I DO! But then, I give it a second glance:

    What is the male/female dynamic about?

    He provides for her, she gives him the sex.

    What about love?

    Give me a break. She can't love him, she doesn't understand what

    he has to go through in his life, and she doesn't care.

    Are there exceptions to the rule?

    If there are, I'd have to do serious research to determine

    how much of their dialogue is about money on a subliminal level.

    It's one thing if she gets preggo. He owes her the money to provide now.

    She couldn't have grown a belly without him.

    But I never had kids, and now I'm divorced.

    I have noticed that when I meet a woman, there is an extreme price.

    She looks at a guy like me and figures I'm a total loser if I don't pull down

    money like a VP of accounting. And she thinks, if he doesn't now, he never will.

    I get tired of the frustration of dating.

    The question almost makes me gag if I meet a woman:

    "So, what do you do for a living?"

    Being a poor musician working my way up, is not a satisfactory answer.

    Sometimes if I say, "I'm a musician." They say, "No, what do you REALLY do?"

    What goons.

    Music is the hardest career in history.

    There is no guarantee of success, and an indie artist must be an entertainer,

    an expert on promotions, a genius songwriter/lyricist, must practice every day,

    make awesome recordings in the studio, and the job isn't over just because

    the clock reads 5 pm.

    A musician who is really a musician, like me, wouldn't have it any other way.

    So if women don't want me when I'm at the bottom,

    the ones that come around if I succeed aren't any better.

    What is the difference between a shark that looks for blood

    and a shark that smells blood in the water?

    None. A shark is a shark. Likewise, a woman is a woman,

    and she looks for the money behind the man.

    But that's not a pathway to love.

    A woman who likes a man because of his success

    is just a different kind of prostitute.

    The things i wanted from women, mostly about love and compatibility

    just don't exist at my age.

    A woman is a prostitute, it's the way of the world.

    Prostitutes don't care how electricity powers a computer,

    how airliners get lift,

    how minor chord progression changes keys,

    or how far is proxima centauri.

    Prostitutes have their mind on their money 24/7,

    and where is their money?

    It's in YOUR WALLET.

    So why should I fap because of loneliness?

    I can't change this jacked up society.

    Why should I fap because I'm rejected by women?

    If they had accepted me, it would have been for reasons

    that had nothing to do with my personality or compatibility.



    Is it right that the constructs and indoctrinations contain me?

    What crap.

    These so-called "values" are just matriarchal ideals to pressure a man.


    Does getting sex, inside or outside of marriage, really benefit anybody?

    This thing is only necessary because of the multitude of messages they

    force down into our gullets from jump.

    We come out of the vagina at birth, and are told to spend all of our living hours

    to get back into it.

    Sex is, at best, 10 minutes of pleasure.

    Then it's over.

    How much time and effort should I invest in that, when a movie ticket costs $10

    for 2 hours of entertainment?

    If the cost of a woman was the same rate as a movie:

    $10 = 2 hrs = 120 mins

    10/120 = $0.083 per minute x 10 minutes = ~ $0.83 for an O

    I think I'd burn up that amount of gas just arriving at her house....



    Tell me if I'm an idiot....
     
  2. Davidphd1866

    Davidphd1866 Fapstronaut

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    You make some great points. Alas, many of your points are OFTEN (but not always) true.

    My only advice is to embrace your great qualities as a musician. I have a best friend who is one and I see the points you make first hand with him. So I truly get what you are saying. But love yourself first. Others will see it and want in on the action.

    And if you love yourself, you won't miss others who fail to recognize who you are.
     
  3. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    I get skeptical about human beings in general.

    But I realize my bias even with this sort of misanthropic view, and I feel transmutation isn't stuffing it away but ultimately it's about seeing it all as empty. Lots of people on NF basically move the energy or try to contain it, they don't really do anything with consciousness nor does it really transform.

    For anyone not familiar, empty here isn't really a bad thing. To me it isn't even about attracting anything, it's about recognition. If there is anyone exceptional it takes certain eyes to see it. If I see not just others and relationships (largely) as empty but also myself, that clarity is "desirable" though not in a sexual way - it's much deeper than that.

    But I don't want to preach even indirectly and without naming. I will say this though: As an artist I believe you would appreciate the unknown on some level, given the creativity element. What you've described on both sides (like the rich guys who play into it) really do not value that, to me it's a kind of cowardice and selling out. Cowardly because it's all about security, selling out because.. Well to be honest I think a lot of people don't even really understand WTF that even means because it comes as just normal, but I do believe a true human being is about being a true individual. Ironically people for whom selling out of whatever form is a norm likely doesn't have that much of real value to sell if you really look at it. FWIW...
     
  4. When women ask for your income, you might simply be looking in the wrong age bracket. Don't make the high school mistake of thinking that your own age actually matters and do not waste time dating 30/40somethings, who are looking for a meal ticket to settle with. You are not looking for a drop-in replacement for your ex-wife.

    As a musician you should be able to pull younger women, who are more into fun and adventure. Though you need to be an interesting and fun guy to be around first of course. Divorced men aren't the happiest on the planet and their image of women is mostly negative from experience. That radiates from them in any interaction.
     
    Empty Red Cloud likes this.
  5. ReachYourHighestPeak

    ReachYourHighestPeak Fapstronaut

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  6. Boanerges777

    Boanerges777 Fapstronaut

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    I am only 20 but I think women are a lot different to what they use to be from what I’ve seen
     
  7. DaveHana

    DaveHana Fapstronaut

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  8. Jerky

    Jerky Fapstronaut

    Stay clear of PMO.

    Marry your music career.

    Invest your life-force energy there, and you will produce greatness.

    Being with oneself is not being alone.

    It's total freedom, unquestioned and uninterrupted.
     

  9. Interesting concepts you mention. About emptiness, I have a fear of it. I fear being creatively empty, but also, I fear being inside of a friendship or relationship that is empty. My ex wife and I had an incredible void between us. It was unsettling. We had little to talk about, and little compatibility. As a result, the intimacy and love factors were always on shaky ground.

    But I also see the value in emptyness because if I force myself into every situation or upon every person all the time, I lose the ability to gain from their expression.

    Then I have to ask the difficult question: how much emptiness is the right amount?

    (Oh no, obscure Police reference!): When The Police made music, moreso in their early days, there was a lot of emptiness in their sound. They could have entire measures with only a beat. They created atmosphere in a lot of songs too, which had it's own power, as opposed to a driving pop melody.

    But in the end, without substance, there is too much emptiness.
     
    Davidphd1866 likes this.

  10. Yes I agree with all of that. I guess my struggle is that i feel unworthy of the hotter, younger chicks sometimes, but also, I notice that they are the ones more interested in me. So I guess I should just dive in, after of course, another reboot...
     
  11. Doubling it doesn't really help the situation...
     
    FX-05 likes this.
  12. Nowadays, if you want to ask a woman out, she wants a print out of your credit report and CV FIRST....
     
    Boanerges777 and Deleted Account like this.

  13. nah. who cares. there will always be a birth rate.
     

  14. Yeah, you're right.

    It's hard to accept that i can't get what I want,

    which is a form of suffering,

    but it's for the best.

    I need to get on and accept my lot...
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  15. So you had the solution already at your hands. ;)

    It's not a date, it's a job interview. And I can tell you why.

    Did your marriage stay fruitless intentionally?

    You are obviously not called for a life of singleness.
     
    Davidphd1866 likes this.
  16. DaveHana

    DaveHana Fapstronaut

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    For most women, a huge percentage! But I believe you are mistaken to hold this against them and call them prostitutes. How the female brain works can be explained in large part by evolutionary biology. Female homo sapiens evolved as the caretakers of the brood. They needed a man to protect the cave, hunt and provide food and other resources while they cared for the children. This reliance on men to provide security and resources evolved over millennia, and is deeply ingrained in the primal structures of the female brain. As our species moved away from barter toward currency, we all learned that money is a tool to provide both security and material resources. Women crave security, and money is a tool that can be used to provide security in the modern world.

    Women are also innately physically attracted to men of high perceived relative social status within a tribe. Money is of varying importance to earn social status within modern tribes. It's important for the country club, but not for the bowling league. There are attractive women that are seeking long term relationships across the tribal income spectrum. Since you are a charismatic musician, it sounds like you have already earned top social status within your tribe and you can probably take your pick of the females in your tribe.

    Hell yeah dude go for it! You must be worthy of hot younger chicks, else why would they be attracted to you?!?! This sounds like the perfect solution for you. Younger chicks tend to be less interested in money, because the volume of the ticking of their reproductive clock is lower.

    There are lots of high income women out there that may be less interested in you bringing home the majority of the bacon. For example females with careers as doctors, lawyers and entrepreneurs among many other professions.

    If you find one that you're interested in going long term with, then eventually you can have a frank conversation about money. In the meantime you get to go out with a bunch of hot chicks. I bet there's a lot of guys on this forum that would love to be in your shoes bud.
     
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2019
  17. Dave G 123

    Dave G 123 Fapstronaut

    Sooo... no-one heard of Rollo Tomassi?
     
    Empty Red Cloud likes this.
  18. RicardoL

    RicardoL Fapstronaut

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    firstly sir you are a lyrical genius. not to sound anti women, to any lady reading this. i i do feel your words cause they are some of my thoughts as well. i was poor guy maybe even naive, i only started noticing how "pretty" a girl was at age 16 i was also quite smart, the no 1 student in the district and during high school top 5. the government paid for my engineering diploma BUT RIGHT THERE i entered the university life all these beautiful women while me the country bumpkin with my cousins 2nd hand clothes, i was the one they whispered and laughed at, then the former top five student failed his 1st subject it took me almost 5 years to earn a two year diploma. the words they said both male and female haunt me to this day.
    i dug deep down and for the final project, an 8 credit course i got an A which shot my average GPA of 2.5 into the higher 3.02, in turn i "refused" as in, cant find a f***ing date to go to graduation. i never attended my high school nor diploma graduations.... 6 months after i would be employed with a highly paying oil and gas company, take a guess who started noticing me, asking me for lifts in my car , actually having lunch with me? 5 years after when the company when bankrupt take a guess what happened?
    Now i cant say i have all the answers but as you correctly said society operates like sharks, if they sense weakness they will feed, if you are alone then guess what u have all the time for yourself you can FOCUS on your self, understand this if you have nothing at all you have nothing to lose..... let that sink in. because in my darkest time i had no friends i had no body to waste my time on. while i did spent years crying myself to sleep and yes getting addicted to porn..... i eventually learned on to stop begging because NO ONE WOULD COME TO SAVE ME and i began to dig myself out of the hole and yes i did have some people cheering me on in an online depression support group, quite similar to the you all here in NOFap. i practiced and i honed my skills in private i will recover the greatness that i once had and YOU WILL TOO, if you are alone work in silence you have all the time. and then u will see the same women al of sudden looking back and maybe you will find a good one in the bunch
     
    Empty Red Cloud likes this.
  19. You can go your own way and avoid all that drama that comes with "relationships".
    The hardest part about this journey is getting our minds right. I realise that beating off to prostitutes on my computer screen is damaging to my mind. Interacting with prostitutes in real life is damaging to mind , body, and soul.

    Freedom.
     
    LEPAGE and DaveHana like this.
  20. Grey is colourless

    Grey is colourless Fapstronaut

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    Many married couples are essentially best friends. Or at least they should be.

    I think in life it comes down to being HOOD. Not couple or single hoods. Spending good time with great friends is the same as spending time with wife.

    If you can find the hood in your life. Partner doesn't matter :) You can even be alone like those in imprisoment that aren't effected negatively by it, mentally.
     

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