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Masturbation as autistic "stimming" (self stimulation)

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by ultrafabber, Jul 17, 2019.

  1. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    The more i think of it, the more similarities i see between the two. Stimming is a behavior people do to self soothe (and derive pleasure from). Technically stimming is giving yourself sensory input.

    I'm not implying people that masturbate are literal autists but that the behavior itself is in the cluster of stimming behaviors typical for autistic spectrum.

    Stimming is not necessarily severe and does not necessarily imply autism, there are many socially common behaviors that are in the stimming cluster and those include biting your fingernails, twirling your hair around your fingers, cracking your knuckles or other joints, drumming your fingers, tapping your pencil, jiggling your foot, whistling etc.

    Obviously not everybody doing those is on the autistic spectrum, however, the more intense a behavior is and the more behaviors are enacted, the more likely it is you have a problem.

    Now, for behaviors that are usually associated with the autistic spectrum we have (and i'm going to bold relevant ones):
    rocking, flapping hands or flicking or snapping fingers, bouncing jumping or twirling, pacing or walking on tiptoes, pulling hair, repeating words or phrases, rubbing the skin or scratching, repetitive blinking, staring at lights or rotating objects such as ceiling fans, licking, rubbing, or stroking particular types of objects, sniffing at people or objects, rearranging objects

    Notice the parts that are bolded have many things in common with masturbation and that all parts have repetitive movements as the common element.

    I find it fascinating how a person/child/teenager that repetitively rubs his skin/arm/face, rocks, flaps his hands, strokes objects etc AND CAN'T STOP is easily flagged for possible autistic behavior, yet a person/child/teenager that repetitively rubs his/her sex organ and can't stop doing it is magically not flagged for such behavior.

    Masturbation is a repetitive, involuntary (uncontrollable urge) a person does to self soothe (and derive pleasure from).
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2019
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  2. Rehab_warrior

    Rehab_warrior Fapstronaut

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    Hey ultrafabber,

    I can't attest of those arguments for I'm no psychiatrist, but that is damn interesting !!!

    Thanks for your share ;)

    Stay brave bro
     
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  3. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    I have a mild amount of autism. I "stim" a lot. I never knew the 2 were related. Thanks for the post.
     
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  4. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    I'm just saying there seems to be a huge similarity between masturbation and other types of stimming behavior. And i'm wondering why people are so quick to notice the rest of stimming behavior but completely ignore mastubation, even if it ticks all the boxes of stimming.
     
    Last edited: Jul 17, 2019
  5. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    From my personal experience the experience I get from stimming is different than masturbation. Stimming is a soothing act and it becomes compulsive. Sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it. Like playing with my beard or my cuticles on my fingers. The sensation I get from masturbation is sexual in nature. I wouldn't rub my dick the same way I rub my beard or scratch my back. The pleasure feels completely different.

    If I were to stim my penis it would probably not even get hard the way I stim. Hope that makes sense. If it's still unclear let me know
     
  6. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    I agree there is a sexual motivation but sexual arousal is still arousal. And masturbation is getting yourself stimulated/aroused, even if it's sexual.

    Later today I found an interesting topic in an autism forum and almost everyone there agreed masturbation is some sort of stimming https://www.autismforums.com/threads/masturbation-self-regulation.5337/
     
  7. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    I read through some of that article. It seems that they are all in agreement that it's a stim. I might be the odd one out but to me it isn't a stim. Allow me to explain.

    For me a stim fulfills a certain desire for me. It's like an itch or uncomfortable feeling that needs to be dealt with by specific stimulation. I constantly rub various things on my mouth and face because of it. I'll make clicking noises with my fingernails. I'll twist and play with my hair weather it's the hair on my head, my face or my body (including pubes). I'll rub and touch with my hands on my surroundings. I scratch different areas of my skin. These are just a few examples. It looks like a trick from the outside. I've been like this for as long as I can remember.

    As for masturbation it simply doesn't fulfill the same type of desire my other stims do. It stems from a different place. Sure the desire for masturbation is strong but it's like an ant compared to my desire to stim. I've gone weeks without masturbation in the past. I've never gone a single day without my stims. I don't think I could give them up if I wanted to.

    Luckily stims aren't a detriment to my life like masturbation is. I'm sure for others masturbation fulfills their stim desire, but not for me at least.
     
  8. Amanda011

    Amanda011 Fapstronaut

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    Hi,
    This is great. I am in a relationship with someone on the spectrum. He has a porn/pics of women addiction for some time now and is trying to stop. We have had many conversations about this and finally told him I am not having this in my relationship. He is always playing with his penis consciously and unconsciously he also masturbates a lot. So our final talk about it he said nothing "nofap", I assumed he ment no masturbation of any kind. Today he told me he masturbated but to "nothing". I am confused about this and a little concerned. Should I be ok with him just masturbating without porn/pics or will this just be setting him up for failure?
     
  9. I somehow start to touch myself uncontrolably.. like u say. I dont even know im doing it, than I have my hand in pants.. than I say STOP and end it. Than I find my arm in pants again..

    Its a miracle I can go on like this for almost 200 days already but honestly. I dont give a damn if im this or that. F the diagnosis. Im me. Better be me, than being some1 else. Who cares, my hands are just living their own life :)
     
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  10. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    200 days! That's awesome man! Is there any techniques you used to get that far?
     
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  11. Amanda011

    Amanda011 Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the reply. I was just wondering if your experience is any different due to the autism? I am still new to this, but trying my hardest to understand how to respond better to him. I have learnt a lot over the past 2 yrs. Communication being one as well as empathy and impulses. If you have any advice it would be greatly appreciated.
     
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  12. So u think Im autist.. thanks for a sticker. Im not.
     
  13. Thanks mate. Thats a long story. Never give up is the main point. I try 2 years. Failed many times... never gave up. From each failure, ive learned.

    Do thr same.

    Ultimately, its about controling your MIND. Not body. Everything starts with a idea. Reaction follows. Stop fantasy. Stop ideas which lead to relapse. Notice them, than abandon them as soon as u noticed em.

    Also... u must PUSH thru 1st 40 to 60 days. That part is more about the willpower

    2n part is about the mind.

    Good luck. Never give up and u will get here as well.
     
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  14. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    Hello. He must stop all types of self sex stimulation, this includes masturbation and sex fantasizing. You must show him this forum and he must understand he himself must put in the work and it's up to him to fix this.
     
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  15. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    Thank you friend. I actually just relapsed about 20 minutes ago :(. Luckily there was no porn involved and after I came I didn't masturbate again. Normally if I masturbate once I keep on touching myself for a few hours. This time I realized what I did was wrong, got up took a shower and moved on.

    I'll take your advice. I was hoping that there was a hurtle point that when crossed it becomes easier. You say it's 40-60 days. My PMO brain wants to act like that's a life time but really it isn't that far from now. It'll be in September which is just around the corner.
     
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