My story

I've been meaning to sign up and talk about my growing addiction with others who are experiencing the same problems.

I'll try to keep it short and sweet...

After being set loose on the internet at around the age of 16, I was exposed to a few of those old 'shock' sites that would show really gross and offensive content, I don't believe that these videos have had any kind of effect towards my addiction, however I do believe that it was the first thing to desensitise myself to the horrors of the internet.

Over the next few months I'd grow curious and start exploring websites I wasn't too familiar with. Eventually I'd begin browsing for things that had that weird sexual effect on me when I was younger (Things like seeing my older sister's underwear laying around the house, or discovering my mother's sex toys) that I didn't quite understand at the time.

From here, I'd start to develop odd fetishes. While I don't believe that these are necessarily that extreme, I understand that it's not really normal hence the fact I've never openly shared these fetishes with any of my partners.

During my first sexual relationship, it didn't take me long to realise that my sexual desires were unusual, as my partner would feel weird or uncomfortable with some of the things we'd end up doing. Eventually we'd stop doing the weirder stuff and just stuck to the 'traditional' stuff. This meant that I wasn't fulfilling all of my sexual desires and would use the internet to get these desires out of my system.

After repeating this process for a while, eventually I stumbled across a new fetish that would be considered extreme by the large majority of people. Throughout all of my relationships, I'd PMO anywhere between 2 - 4 days a week on top of regular sex.

That probably summarises myself and my history without getting into too much depth.

My worry is that if I continue this cycle of sex with my partner and then PMO a few times a week then I will start to develop serious problems. I think right now, I am teetering on the edge, and a serious commitment needs to be made in order to take back control.

The good:

- I've dabbled in 'edging' but not often and have had never had a problem ejaculating
- I've never done the 'Death Grip'
- I feel like the frequency of my PMO has been 'normal' for the age I am

The bad:

- I worry that I may be developing PIED - However there's no evidence of this
- My 'kinks' are weird and fall under the NSFW and possible NSFL categories
- Mentally, I am effected by pornography [Tired, Depressed, Clouded Mind]

If anyone could point me in the right direction or give me any advice as I start my journey that would be fantastic!

Right now I'm really sorting my life out - Social Media deleted, Toxic Friendships ended, Great job with progression etc. etc.

I'm on the right path, but I still need some guidance.

Thanks for reading.