Feeling trapped

Your focus is on achieving a target imposed by society; ditch it, ditch this goal.

Make it your goal to change your lifestyle and to find joy in life.

I'd suggest you start with this:
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/a-primer-on-dealing-with-negative-emotions.235876/

Learning how to cope with your emotional state is key in overcoming PMO, because you started PMO due to your emotional state, especially with feelings of loneliness and boredom.

 

Be attracted by your true self. You are made of pure love. Everything else is distraction. You have much more power than you think. Just avoid P+O and you will reach 5 and more days of NO PMO.Once you have passed the 4-day-limit you will begin to enjoy your NO_PMO-journey very much. Good luck!

 

Are you keeping opportunities to lapse around even while you start again?

 

Having an accountability partner could be a good idea. Also instead of just focusing on the end goal have easier goals before that. Can't get past the day 4? Forget about quitting altogether or the 90 days or whatever your end goal is. Take it as your goal to last for five days the nect streak. When the urges hit, just think that you'll wait just one day more and then you can do whatever you want. Obviously you'll need to ditch this approach sooner or later if you really want to overcome your addiction, but for now you need to take babysteps in order to build up your ability to control yourself and learn to understand that you can overcome your urges. I hope this helps.

 

An accountability partner worked negatively on my relationship with her and that’s only because I found a way to abuse it and I went to great lengths to watch porn. May work differently with a buddy and not a partner. I have found for myself that if you REALLY want to watch porn, you’ll find it. No matter how hard. Some people are different where they can use the extra 39 seconds or minutes to forget about their urges, but unlucky for me I’ve never EVER been able to use this to my advantage. Once that ball is rolling, it’s almost impossible to stop. For me at least. The longest I’ve ever gone without an orgasm is a month, and right now I’m at a week avg with a reset every week or so, and what helps for me is rigorous planning.

I’ve built a busy life for myself (after a LONG time of trying) and can use these things as an advantage, like school and hobbies, but I know when I’ll be home tomorrow and I can plan to go study and get something done at a coffee shop and feel good about it. It’s so much harder for me in the summer though, and before I started building this life, all I had was nothing but my job (and I worked nights and had no friends). If you don’t have any hobbies, I recommend that first because distractions CAN be helpful if used properly, and also having something to look forward to or live for can be enough motivation in some cases. I also leave my phone in my living room when I’m home.

My current plan is making a schedule and having the discipline (if only for a second) to not allow myself to be triggered in the first place. It requires less discipline than the old fashioned, Ronald Reagan ‘just say no’ method