Can i Beat PMO without telling my fiancee?

It's not an yes/no question. I really suggest you to talk with her. You are going to get married, read marriage vows and answer yourself who should you share your problems with?

 

if you think you are strong enough to beat this on your own, why don't you try first...otherwise I would also suggest for you to discuss this issue with her seriously

 

You’re going to marry someone knowing that you have an addiction? Knowing that the reason you are not intimate is because of this addiction?

Imagine for a second that your fiancée was on another forum asking if she should tell you about her drug problem? She’s a heroin addict and doesn’t know if she can fight it on her own or if she should tell you.

Why marry someone if you won’t let them know the real you? She WILL find out. Before she finds out she will be wondering why you’re not having sex. She will start to believe it’s because she’s ugly, fat, not enough. Then when she finds out about the porn she will believe that all those thoughts about not being enough were true. She won’t believe anything you say because you hid this from her. If you come clean she will also be hurt but ask any of the women here and they will tell you that it’s better to be told than to find out.

Can you beat it on your own? Maybe, but that still doesn’t change the fact that you’re hiding something about yourself to the woman you want to marry. Can an alcoholic cut the addiction on his own? Probably but it would be a lot easier with support

 

Yes you can without telling her.

You will lose her IF she EVER finds out

Telling her now and beating PMO is the only way in my opinion

 

More than likely she already knows something is up and probably thinks it’s her. I’d talk to her.

 

You are marrying her under false pretenses. Tell her.

 

After almost 10 years of marriage my advice to you: the sooner the better. It will turn into the f-in tell-tale-heart in no time and destroy you and her from the inside out.

 

You are not being honest before marriage and that in itself will end her love for you quicker than anything. A liar, a porn addict, a sneak. Would you want to marry yourself?

 

You are scared of losing her and your porn addiction (which is RUINING HER). She should not stay with you in your current condition. You should brake up and work on yourself without her. If you get better--truly better and honest about it, without erection issues and intimacy issues, which will just fuck her up-heart and soul- then see if she is willing to give you another chance. Because it seems that you are not wanting this for yourself, but to keep her along with your porn addiction. NOT FAIR or right to HER. If you love her and want to be the man she deserves then you will sit her down and tell her everything. Do not "trickle truth" her to death--that is much, much worse.

 

When are you getting married? It would take around 6 months to know the extent of this problem for you. If you quit and 6 months things are better, ok maybe this won't be a part of your future. Maybe this is a moment to pause and do some inner work.

On the other hand, honesty is at the core of strong relationships. A woman can sense when something is off. You would have to be able to fix this and it not impact your relationship at all, which is pretty unlikely.

What I have found with PAs is that they really really want intimacy and acceptance and love from their partner but because of the secrets, they never allow the chance to have someone truly love them. Food for thought.

Good luck in whatever you decide!

 

Totally agree.