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Seeing my old posts about me trying to quit porn is disturbing.

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Dan-, Jun 29, 2019.

  1. Dan-

    Dan- Fapstronaut

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    I rejoined the forum today and I read threads I created on 2014.

    It was already the year after I discovered Nofap and started trying to get rid of my addiction to porn.

    It's 2019. 5 years passed since 2014. 6 years passed since 2013, when I found out and realized I had an addiction to pornography.
    More than half a decade, and I haven't been able to have success in taking control of my compulsion.
    I couldn't go no more than 4 days on average then, I can't go no more than 4 on average days now. No progress made.
    Every single symptom of my addiction got worse, and it affected my life in such a negative way.

    This is crazy. I must get my shit together.
    I could waste my whole life if I don't take this seriously.

    I am willing to sacrifice everything to take my true self and my life back and live again.
     
  2. Best of luck to you! Make it happen!
     
    Dan- likes this.
  3. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    It's not uncommon to hear long timers in recovery meetings (in person) say they didn't take it seriously for 10 years+, that they were in and out and the like.

    Of course, anyone can start being serious at any time. 5 years is a lot of time but only half as long as 10. Personally I don't see why someone wouldn't want to take care of other areas of their life as well. With something like alcohol it's understandable how some people might think it's about the drink but even 12 step does some kind of psychological work, the inventory and so forth.

    So I think a good question anyone could ask themselves is what can you do to improve the quality of your life? Some of it may not be directly related but when you look at the big picture you may be surprised.
     
    Dan- likes this.
  4. Dr.LoveLength

    Dr.LoveLength Fapstronaut

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    Its not an easy road. Only the ones with the strongest will can regain control from this dirty addiction
     
    Robinthehood, DoppoOrochi4 and Dan- like this.
  5. You can do it. Your addiction sounds much more severe, so you most beat it!
     
    Dan- likes this.
  6. Hros

    Hros Fapstronaut

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    Good luck man.
     
    Dan- likes this.
  7. skull67

    skull67 Fapstronaut

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    i completely feel you man, in fact for the past two weeks, when i was increasing my streak by an average of two to three days, i just realised that how long have i put this shit off. and by not being absolutely serious, how many years have i wasted, i mean even if i forget what i have wasted or have created a disease for myself, i dont know when exactly will i get out of it, because clearly still there is more time to be wasted in this, ad that is why i should just stop these 10, 30, 180 day challenges and delve right into it till it doesnt go away, or else another relapse and i will still be sinking low enough in my depth to ever come out of this.
     
    Dan- likes this.
  8. Dan-

    Dan- Fapstronaut

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    Thank you guys for the support and positive energy.
    I appreciate it.

    I hope my post also helps as a reminder that this addiction should be taken seriously and full commitment is required so people can avoid wasting years of their lives.
     
    Anonymous86 likes this.
  9. I've been trying to stop using porn with varying levels of commitment for 4+ years myself.

    Thank you for sharing, your post made me realise that I can make it one more day, and that every day without it gets me a day closer to never wanting it again.
     
    dark2light and Dan- like this.
  10. bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

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    I've been trying to quit seriously for around a year now. I've managed over a month of no pmo quite a few times but ultimately fell back down the trap. I wasn't serious enough because i'd still look at insta and tease myself with google searches, except for one time last year where I was with my ex gf and I couldn't get it up, I said to myself this is enough of this shit tomorrow its a change in lifestyle I quit... I went 42 days with relative ease but relapsed due to some stupid shit. it took me almost a year to get back to that determined state but here I am. I have learned a lot though... rather than resisting urges I simply trust the process... I know its just withdrawals. I also use NO artificial sexual stimulation (from insta, youtube etc) as I know that's just me kidding myself. ultimately I want to live porn free and everything telling me to give in is just a ruse of the addiction.

    I am basically going about this by getting rid of my smartphone until I start full time work in September. this removes a lot of temptation (and to be honest having a break from social media is probably good for me). I still have triggers but I am able to overcome them by talking to my irrational thoughts and taking it day by day (in the past i'd always think wow I don't think I can keep up resisting this for another 70 days or whatever- which is pointless thinking).

    In general I am a very driven and disciplined person, I workout 5x a week, cold showers every day, have a great job coming up, graduated from a good university you name it... so I think naturally finally making a decision about this shit comes more quickly than to the average person. but you need to remember why you're doing this. at 21 I am sick and tired of feeling bad about myself... I have achieved great things already and I don't deserve to wallow in sadness for the rest of my life... I want to find a girl and actually have a proper relationship... there are so many reasons for it. obviously quitting porn wont automatically give me these things but at least I wont have self guilt for no reason.

    I wish you luck. you have to stay strong and really look inward when you have urges. understand why you feel that way. also don't kid yourself about youtube or Instagram, looking at any artificial stimulation is going to hurt your reboot and make it more likely for relapse.
     
    OnTheEdge, Anonymous86 and Dan- like this.
  11. I think the mentality you need at this stage is to believe that the only way you are going to break these massive urges that won't allow you passed 4 days is to go on a long streak and give your brain chance to change. For me, my current streak became easier after two weeks. I know a lot of people have said that there is some kind of 'peak' at 7-14 days and if you can get passed this period it gets easier. That's what I'm finding myself. Also, you need a bit of a mentality change to one which tells you that no matter how difficult today is, it won't last forever. I mean, when the massive urges come, know that they cannot and will not last forever.
     
    Dan- and Anonymous86 like this.
  12. overclocked

    overclocked Fapstronaut

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    I don't even have the guts to look for my old posts. I know for sure that it would be a cringefest :D

    Anyway. If you are not embarrassed at your past, you haven't made progress.
     
  13. Robinthehood

    Robinthehood Fapstronaut

    Everything that came before was making you ready for right now, this second. So, if you decide now to quit, then you can. And the best of luck to you my friend. You have lots of support here.
     
    Dan- and OnTheEdge like this.
  14. skull67

    skull67 Fapstronaut

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    although its nice to take it one day at a time, but i guess we should make it big this time, every new year we take pledges and fuck things up eventually, let us take this pledge and commit ourseles mid year to be completely free of any chemicals and mo till december 2019, so that we can enter 2020 with rock solid BANG
     
    Deleted Account and Robinthehood like this.

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