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Seeking Positive Advices

Discussion in 'Self Improvement' started by Deleted Account, Jun 29, 2019.

  1. I’m a 19 YO ascending to 20 in 6 months time. This page amazes me on how people is giving each other advices and support.

    What advices would you tell to your younger selves before you reach the age of adulthood?
     
    GuitarAfficionado likes this.
  2. GuitarAfficionado

    GuitarAfficionado Fapstronaut

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    I'd teach myself about how we can design our future, control our emotions, and stop living on reactive mode. The 2 most important ingredients for this is CONFIDENCE and DISCIPLINE.

    Well, for real I wish I could teach my 18 YO self what I learned on my last 4 months. I'm on a self-improvement journey, read almost 500 pages (a lot for my standards) and lots of videos/podcasts/interviews.

    Anything we believe we can do and anything that we have certainty on, we will attain!
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. Appreciate the advice man!
     
    GuitarAfficionado likes this.
  4. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    To be honest, I don't remember enough of my younger days to know what to say - or at least how to say it.

    Realistically, I think how to say it is hugely important and it would involve spending some time with myself and be specific enough, attuned to the emotional state and all that. Since you're a different person, some general advice would probably not help unless you just happen to be dealing with something that I used to deal with.

    I was thinking earlier people who may spend time meditating may never spend as much as 5 minutes to really listen to people they consider their loved ones, especially if they are in the position of an elder like parent or anyone who is older. There's this general attitude of just telling people what to do, as if issuing a command to a computer. This is not how human beings are supposed to communicate and relate.

    Tricky thing is, even if I offer it now, to strangers, they probably don't want to take the time either.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  5. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    That probably sounded negative. I would really be willing to spend some time to understand what your life is like before I offer generic advice though. Although generally speaking just as far as rebooting, I'd say don't think one thing is going to do it. It's just the beginning and opens the door to other possibilities of self improvement. You might think of reboot like the front door to a house, but there are a lot of rooms with other stuff if you take the time to explore.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  6. I thought about this question too much in the past. Here's a few; these are all specific to me.
    • Quit all social media, video streaming, and video games. The value I've gotten out of all these things together is so small. Only engage in the later two with friends/romantic partners, preferably in the same room. Listen too music and read books at at least an 1-to-1 pre-1950/post 1950 ratio; better if higher.
    • Instead, appreciate silence, and cultivate attention. Notifications, music, audiobooks, television; these all have a place, but that place is limited. Take control of what you attend to.
    • Then learn to speak and listen. Listen carefully to others when they communicate, and hear what they say. Don't be self-absorbed. Talk to people who are wiser than you, learn to seek help. Receive advice with humility and practice it; read Proverbs and take heed.
    • Including; never go into financial debt. Be patient, or give your profit to another man who did nothing to deserve it. Work, even if it's menial. Idleness breeds vice; work in such a way as to enjoy sleep and require a sabbath (rest day). Do not wait on others to care for you.
    • Take charge of your self. You have been given responsibility for your body and all you own. Learn to clean, cook, maintain and upkeep everything you own, especially your place. Learn to dress. Learn to learn, as most learning is autodidactic. Learn to analyze and think, accumulating knowledge and wisdom over time, and learning to discern error and lies.
    • Do not let lies control you. PMO is full of lies about you, about women, about sex. The culture lies about these things, and all things. Do not listen. You don't need to have sex. You don't need to know what is hidden. Either way, PM & promiscuity will not deliver either. All the willing and naked girls in the world couldn't satisfy disordered desire. Pain is truth; do not hide from it, but listen to it. Journal to understand it, read books on psychology. Do not dawdle in comfort; comfort is what this world offers, but comfort alone is a soft poison, and the pain you avoid is often the key to to finding what you lack.
    • Seek God. Do not let passions enslave you. Flee from evil, Cultivate virtue. Do not be afraid of scoffers and mockers, or of missing out on what pleasures they can offer. The world will not have what you are looking for. Do not compromise with what it can offer, but seek first the kingdom of God.

    These are all things I specifically didn't do, and am struggling through the arduous process of undoing my folly.
     
    Deleted Account, koolpal and ye9 like this.
  7. skibum71

    skibum71 Fapstronaut

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    Don't mess around with drugs, particularly LSD...
     
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  8. koolpal

    koolpal Fapstronaut

    What I'd tell my past 19 year old self...
    1. Pay attention during classes. It won't make sense now, but you'll figure it out later in life.
    2. Stay away from video games. Stay away from PMO, drugs, smoking, etc.
    3. Get more sleep.
    4. Join the wrestling team, rifle team, archery club, weightlifting club, ballroom dancing, yoga, and taichi.
    5. Learn to play the piano, guitar, and violin. Reading notes & playing by ear. Join a band.
    6. Learn other languages, particularly Chinese & Spanish. Learn to read & write Chinese/Japanese/Korean. Travel.
    7. Learn how to cook. Learn family recipes.
    8. Spend more time with parents & grandparents and learn from their own hobbies & interests.
    9. Learn to talk to all kinds of people of different age groups. Don't ignore those cheerleader type girls. They're cool people too.
    10. Read the Bible. It won't make sense now, but you'll figure it out later in life.
     
    Last edited: Jun 30, 2019
    Deleted Account likes this.
  9. Appreciate every single advices and thank you so much for inspiring me and others who read this. God bless.
     
    dwarfstruggles likes this.
  10. I’m learning to cook! Just need a new frying pan for now Haha! Learning isn’t a cup of tea for many but I’m willing to learn more. I also conspire, analyse and research a lot.

    Agree with point no.10 regarding religion.

    When things add up I believe religion is one of the thing that everything ended up to in the end. I’m studying the Quran, comparing similarities between major world religion and it has enlightened me. Islam brings me peace.

    One advice I could give to the people reading this is that don’t listen to what negativity the media brings, instead research and don’t be apprehensive about anything.

    Appreciate all the advice you’ve given! Spread peace.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 30, 2019
    koolpal likes this.
  11. Generic advices is fine. I believe it will benefit me and other potential readers.
    We need reminders.
    Although I get the standpoint where I also believe that some lessons you just have to experience to understand it.
     
  12. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    Yes, and on this point I'd add that listening and deep communication is itself an experience. In my experience a lot of people will think very little about offering advice without listening, it's like they don't even see people as people and something very deep is treated as a simple black and white thing. When people just say "you just have to do this and that" as if they know your entire situation and that's all that matters.

    I don't know how many people on this forum will recognize this, though I bet those in a relationship might have more of an appreciation. We don't get into any kind of intimate relationship, romantic or otherwise to listen to simplistic rationalizations.

    So where I'm coming from is I'd never want to be guilty of that. Not only would that be deeply unsatisfying in a romantic relationship, it just doesn't really cut it for anything considered meaningful. And if we are going to have some kind of meaningful relationship on here, to have a community and not just post stuff, it seems that's clearly what we want to aim for.
     
  13. I get what you mean and your standpoint. “When people just say "you just have to do this and that" as if they know your entire situation and that's all that matters.”

    Appreciate the perspective you’ve given!
     

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