You eventually need to learn to say no and refuse it without blockers?

I don't use a smart phone and I have a lot of extreme blockers on my computer/internet. A lot of work went in to this. It has been this way since April 2018 where I haven't had a smart phone and have used all these blockers on my computer/internet. I created a system where it is near impossible to by pass the blockers without this long 30 digit symbol password which I keep on a few different devices in a different location a mile a way from where I live. I deliberately created it this way, where I can't access any blockers, uninstall any blockers or wipe my computer ext without this password. I made it a way where there is no way to recover the password,blockers or emails used for the blockers. Basically the only way around these blocks is this long 30 digit symbol password which would be near impossible to remember off by heart. Put it this way I have seen this password probably hundreds of times now, and I am no where near close to remembering it. You would probably need to sit and look at this password constantly for weeks to ever have a chance to remember it. Like I said the password is literally mainly symbols apart from 2 letters and one number. So that is 27 symbols. The brain automatically remembers letters, numbers ext, as we have grown up with letters and numbers constantly. But with symbols I find the brain doesn't automatically remember them anywhere near as easily.

So yeah these blockers block all porn, social media, social media content sharing, which means I can't see an image or video from a social media site on another website, so like google images for instance, I can't see the images from a social media site on there, and that goes for every other search engine and website, the content sharing from social media sites is completely blocked. The images are just all blanked out if they're from a social media site. Every anonymous search engine is completely blocked, all proxy sites completely blocked, all vp ns completely blocked, safe search permanently switched on on every search engine and can't be turned off. Youtube redistricted mode permanently locked on and can't be turned off. All windows apps completely blocked, so that means I can't go on things like social media through an app, I can't access triggering content through an app, all app downloads and file downloads completely blocked. Recently I have now blocked just every search engine image and website image, except from the sites I choose to allow. So when I go on google search engine images say for instance, bing search engine images, yahoo search engine images, and every other search engine that I can access, all the images on those search engines remain blank. Now it blocks every image on the internet, except from the sites I choose for it to allow. So yeah all of this I can't get around without this long 30 digit symbol password which I keep at a different location on a few different devices a mile away from where I live.

The thing is from time to time I will go and get this password. Usually the most time I go get this password is when I am hungover from alcohol. A while ago I was getting streaks completely away from porn/artificial sexual stimulation for 30 days and things like that. But more so recently over the last few months I have been going back to porn more regularly, every few weeks ext. So basically what happens is I go get this password unblock everything for a few hours and then block everything again, and then I usually have everything blocked again for a few weeks and then one day I unblock everything again and this cycle continues.

I have been doing really well getting away from all this stuff overall though. The PIED is about 85% cured and my mental health is better than it has been in years. I believe I went through a lot of withdrawals brain changes on this journey.

But I honestly think without these blockers I wouldn't of stood a chance getting away from porn/artificial sexual stimulation. I feel like when the blocks come down I just go for it, I feel like I take advantage of everything in that moment, and I just begin searching things.

I really take my hat off to the guys that can still completely refuse everything without blockers. I feel like I am going to need to be able to do this eventually. We live in a world all this stuff is easily accessible. I can't exactly have a blocking system the way I have forever can I? I feel like I am going to need to learn to say no without the blockers one day.