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Vacation issues

Discussion in 'Rebooting in a Relationship' started by BigCatTunski, Jun 21, 2019.

  1. BigCatTunski

    BigCatTunski Fapstronaut

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    Just came from vacation with my girlfriend on Tuesday. It was great, we had fun, but one thing that was always on my mind was having sex with her. The second day that we were there, we had sex in our hotel room, and I realized that I couldn’t ejaculate while having sex. After we both got tired, I went to the bathroom and masturbated immediately. I felt bad, and I knew I couldn’t tell my girlfriend about that. Before this, I would masturbate quite often, mostly at night, but sometimes in the daytime as well. Typically, it would be about 1-2 times a day, but it would be everyday of the week that I am partaking in masturbation. Anyway, for the rest of our vacation, I didn’t want to seem like I only wanted to have sex, but in reality, it was all I could think about. So for the rest of our vacation, I lay next to my girlfriend with blue balls, ashamed to even ask her to have sex with me. I resorted to masturbation just so I felt like my head was on straight. I don’t want to keep feeling like this. After that trip, I knew something had to change. What can I do to not allow this to happen anymore? I don’t only want to think clearly when I ejaculate, I want to think clearly all the time. I need help.
     
  2. Time away from porn and doing things with your own hand brother. The desire for her is great but you don't want to have low sensitivity because you're taking things into your own hands.
     
    captainteemo likes this.
  3. Hopefulgirl

    Hopefulgirl Fapstronaut

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    If you wanted to have sex with your girlfriend you would have asked her to. Really it sounds like you wanted to masturbate and are making excuses about why you didn't want to be intimate with her instead. She can feel your distance.
     
    mjones050505 likes this.
  4. BigCatTunski

    BigCatTunski Fapstronaut

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    I was just thinking about this as I opened up NoFap. I realize I should’ve taken accountability for my actions. I mean, she is my girlfriend after all, but I didn’t want to come off as some dude who’s always thinking about sex (even though that’s basically what I was.) I would’ve felt bad if I tried to ask her and she wasn’t in the mood. But I do realize that I truly wanted to masturbate than have sex. It’s been a little over a week since I’ve looked at porn, and I think I could really pull through on this.
     
    Hopefulgirl likes this.
  5. Chefb87

    Chefb87 Fapstronaut

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    Do you think it may be a good idea to let her in on what's really going on with you ? Id be surprised if she didn't think something was wrong. And I'm sure she thinks its her fault ? Is there anyways you could tell her what's going on with the porn, and how you feel , and what you're thinking ? I know it sounds scary to talk about that stuff. And let her in on all of that. But for me, it was the best thing I ever did was let my fiance in on everything . I told her every single thing . Which varied from porn addiction, multiple escorts , with drugs involved , and massage parlors. She was devastated, and still is in a way. But I'm getting the help I need , she's getting the help that she needs, and we've noticed that were starting to feel closer and more connected to each other then we ever thought possible. It's just about being 100% honest with everything. What you've done in the past , what you're thinking or feeling instead of saying you're fine when she knows you aren't fine.
     
    Acky31 and Tao Jones like this.
  6. BigCatTunski

    BigCatTunski Fapstronaut

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    If I could be honest, I’ve been dreading telling her what I have going on but I know that it’ll be better if I do. She’s always open to talking about our sex life, but it would always make feel uncomfortable, and I could never really understand why myself. I guess it’s because I was always told that sex talk is inappropriate, and no I’ve never had “the talk” with my parents, so even as a young adult, it still makes me uncomfortable.
     
    Chefb87 likes this.
  7. Hopefulgirl

    Hopefulgirl Fapstronaut

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    AMAZING realization!!!
     

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