Binging after nearly a year clean

Strange, but true - I was exactly the same. When the pressure eased off the really stressful situation I was facing, I started acting out again. It was like - "my life has been hell, nobody knows how bad it was, I deserve a break, I will (gradually) start acting out again and eventually watch porn." So porn was my secret reward - but as only we know, Porn was poison dressed up as champagne! Together with you in the battle...

 

You shouldn't toss all those days without porn because you broke your streak. Having that amount of time without consuming porn leaves you with material to study and reflect on how you felt into it again. Don't be to hard on yourself.

 

@AtomicTango

I didnt read it in the chat, at least i couldn't find it. Are you or were in any sort of a normal relationship with a girl when you binged?
It doesn't matter to me if that relationship was only short term fun or a long term relationship.
The question is only whether you had sex and intimacy during that year, especially at the time of the relapse.

I am trying to figure out whether this is a sticking point for many on here, and whether being on such long streaks makes us more vulnerable to a relapse if we don't manage to find natural sex and intimacy, that isn't on a screen (which is no intimacy anyway, nor sex) or even paid for.

 

Yeah what I have in mind is more of a self quantification thing. Journaling is more about the process to me, but regularly logging data beyond just number of days can be useful.

 

Great streak. I just relapsed after only my FOURTH day! I've never made it past four but I will try to make it to six and go from there. I've got to stop hating myself and pounding my head. Yes, that's right, I said pounding my head. I can't even be friends with myself. I don't know if I'll ever be able to accept my personality and it sucks. 'Try again' they say. 'Be yourself'. Enuff with the bullshit. i find it very difficult to start conversations. that's why i hate my personality. Is that REALLY what 'being yourself' means? This message is full of anger and i will wake up later with the same feeling. WTF am I supposed to do? I've been staying in bed for most of the last 3 days and I've only gone walking all that time. I walked 3 miles, 3 days in a row. Doesn't change my luck or who i am. I don't attract the females. I don't know how to attract the females. so fuck it. i need to find 'somewhere i belong'

 

Wow you are still so young. I don't know if you know Noah Church, who does youtube videos on Nofap and porn-addiction recovery, and he said he has people writing him in on age 20, who missed their teenage years, guys at age 30 who would kill to get their 20ties back, man at age 40 who would kill to get their 30ties back and 60 year olds who would kill to get their fourties back.

And he is right. No matter where we are, we shouldn't look back and just focus on improving ourselves from the point where we are right now.

There is another youtuber called "Men of Mastery", and he implicates that nofap literally doesn't have any time lmiit and days are irrelevant. It is supposed to become a general lifestyle choice, just like working out or eating as healthy as you can is. I stopped watching porn for almost 6 months now, only a few are coming up in my head but i have way more clearity then before.
It's really about what kind of lifestyle we want to have that reflect who we are right now and where we want to be later in our lifes.
And practicing self discipline is one of the best things we can do that shows that we love ourselves.
Yes. I stole this from Will Smith. Fight me!

 

Liverpool made it to the Champions League final last year. Something they hadn't done in 20 years. In the first 10 minutes of the game, their star player separated his shoulder and left the field crying. They lost the game and were devastated.

Most people after a loss like that would crumble, or blame fate or the like. Liverpool came back next year, won almost every game, got back to the final and won.

One setback, no matter how bad, is just one. You can come back better then ever.

 

I've done more or less the same, i got angry for a week or two, but got back on the horse immediatly.

I know it's hard, but you've done a great streak, get back on the horse and keep crunching miles...

 

I was just reading through the blog, and just wanted to say thanks for all the comments in this section. I just signed up for this group so I could say thanks for helping me out. I've been reading these forums for the past couple years and figured I should contribute. I recently had something like a 90 day streak go on, and released with out porn,,,because of mind going crazy,, about a month ago, which eventually lead me into a PMO binged. now I just feel like shit, but reading this blog gives me hope and I feel like a got a good knack on this nofab thing.

 

I've been fabbing since I was 16...I'm 32 years old and this shit has to stop.