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Do we have a name for non masturbatorial looking?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by Fractured Mindset, Jun 17, 2019.

  1. Yesterday, to celebrate my 30 days pmo, I was hit with a bad fine art nude browsing spree. I know this won't be good long term if I don't do anything, but for whatever reason I've been keeping my pants on, and the worst I've been doing is maybe applying a little pressure to my erection.
    I think I know why this is happening- due to my porn quitting and masturbation quitting, my brain is recovering and rediscovering how to get charged up.
    Anyone know what this is? I'm going to keep at my no masturbation goal for now, but I will start formulating a plan to deal with this new situation.
     
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  2. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut
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    This is looking at a porn substitute. This is demonstrated by the fact that what you saw aroused you. In your brain what you saw was the same at looking at a gallery of nudes on a porn website. Myself and others would regard this as a reset. Still others would not. You are right to say that your brain is finding ways to satisfy the dopamine craving by doing this. :(
     
  3. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut
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  4. as much as I don't want to, I will reset my counter.
     
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  5. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Yep, as @IGY says above, its a Psub. Go look in the Glossary at the top of this page for a definition of Psub.

    Good. Have a plan for dealing with urges and triggers that you know about. BUT also have a plan for how you will deal with triggers that you may not even recognize right now as being triggers. If you wait until an urge strikes to only then begin thinking about how you will get past the urge, you likely will not succeed; the urge generally wins. Develop plans right now for how you will deal with triggers and urges. Have several approaches you can use. Sometimes one approach may not be feasible (can't always go take a cold shower ...) and sometimes more than one approach may be required to get past an urge. Work on your plan now, before more urges strike - because they will !

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
  6. All I can say right now is:
    mornings are the worst- generally horny after waking up but I can power through it
    nights are the second worst- more because I'm prone to doing stuff like this
    and getting bored is the third worst- for the same reason as above but I can beat boredom easier.
     
  7. Also, my intentions are mixed.
    I don't want this to become a psub, but there is also some interest in finding new inspirations for my own photography (even if I hardly ever photograph people in general).
     
  8. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    If you want photo inspirations, check out the work of Fan Ho. There shouldn't be anything there that is potentially triggering.

    You've listed 3 situations when you get urges and temptations. What tools are you using to get past the urges and avoid resets and relapses other than "powering through" ? Come up with a plan for how you will deal with temptations and urges, because you know they will happen. Waiting until and urge hits to only then begin thinking of how to get past the urge won't work; the urge almost always wins. Have several things you can do. Sometimes its not always possible to use one of your techniques (can't always go for a cold shower...) and sometimes it takes more than one defense to overcome an urge. Work on a plan now. Then you can check out Fan Ho's work.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
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  9. As I try and clear this sub out of my mind, my escalation thoughts are returning.
     
  10. bfdet

    bfdet Fapstronaut

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    Then fill your mind with thought of other things. Go do something that will occupy your time and your thinking. It would be best if you found activities that involve others. Perhaps join a photography club --- one focused on architecture or floral or animals ... perhaps better to avoid ones that may be involved in portraits or figure studies at least for now.

    One day at a time is how we all succeed.
     
  11. It takes A LOT for my brain to get distracted from issues, and when I do stop it can come back immediately.
     
  12. RebootIan

    RebootIan Fapstronaut

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    Edging (of any sort) always leads to relapse.
    Always.
     
  13. I am trying to stop before that happens, and I seem to be on a good track.
     
  14. IGY

    IGY Fapstronaut
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    Edging is a relapse. :oops:
     
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  15. RamboErecto

    RamboErecto Fapstronaut

    Virile seems fine to me
     
  16. Well it just happened again.

    My excuse:
    Long, busy day at work, I started at 8:30 am, left at 5 pm, and I only stopped to take one bathroom break. No breaks, No lunch, Just a full day of managing chaos. So I was pretty tired, and just crashed on my bed for a while (besides some dinner), and got bored, and decided to upload some photographs to the site in question (see sample below- non pornographic),
    px2018.jpg
    clicked on one tag due to it being a relevant interest to me (expired film), and found more fine art nudes. Didn't last long, here's what I'm adding to my psub plan-

    Learn how to deal with existential boredom.
    Let's also have a debate-
    how bad should this get before I consider it a relapse?
    I still want to quit masturbation.
    I don't want to go back to the legitimate porn.
    I want my concentration back.

    My no masturbation run is slowly and subtly giving me improvements

    Also, Long story short, Got some people angry at me over a photograph I was trying to take (which I don't think I would have done anyways because it wasn't working out), and later got into a personal argument with my mom last night- so stress relief even if I wasn't consciously thinking about it?
     
  17. And I just forced myself into a (short) cold shower. I'll probably make myself do this if I have anymore incidents.
     
  18. Also, I completely forgot this story:

    so November or December, I accidentally found some (shall we say) instagram porn, or more suggestive underwear pictures that kind of set me off and saved them. However, by the end of the day, I unsaved them all Because I told myself "I'm trying to get with a girl, I can't do this."

    But since I don't have that motivation anymore, that could be another reason I'm having this fine art issue.
     
  19. That's edging. Don't do it.
     

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