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34 year old virgin

Discussion in 'New to NoFap' started by mr mister, Jun 21, 2019.

  1. Jun 21, 2019 #1
    mr mister

    mr mister New Fapstronaut

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    Hi everyone

    Just wanted to share my story.

    I have been mastrubating to porn since about 12y(22y addiction) of age, I think. It was the times of dial-up internet connections, that much i know. Forever loading video-clips and laggy loading pics.... you get the idea.

    I had several friends(girls and boys alike) growing up, nothing traumatic or special about my upbringing at all....just normal I guess, quite happy.
    But as porn started to enter my life the disconnect to the opposite gender grew and grew. Females became pure sex objects and i feared them more and more. I don't know why, I just did. Probably because I fear humiliation from them somehow...never feel comfortable around them. At the same time I adore them.

    Anyways, as mentioned I am a virgin and have only kissed two girls in my life which feels quite pathetic honestly. Had some chances at sex but "pussyed" out every time.

    In my mid teens i started to blush uncontrollably and that problem have stayed with me to this day. This did not help me in the girlfriend endeavour at all. It made me more afraid and i often say no to any kind of social events. Just going to the grocery store is excruciating painful. It led me to hate myself even more and my self feeling and confidence is shot to hell.

    On the flip side I have many friends(all male) who really thinks i am a great guy and wants to hang out, go to night clubs and parties.
    I have never admitted this to anyone but the blushing part is self evident i suppose but they never comment on it.

    With all this going on, Porn have always stood by me, being there for comfort and making me forgetting my troubles for a small moment. A trusty old friend.
    But like any addiction you want more and more till you are just empty and dead inside, a shell of something that could be great and successful. Always searching for the next high(clip) hoping it will give me salvation.

    So, is porn the root of all my problems? I don't know, but i have to try and get rid of this addiction. I can barley get a boner too porn these days and that is just fucked up. I feel like i hit rock bottom and now is the time to climb up to be the person i want and can be.

    Today is number 7 of nofap, not using porn or any other type of temptation(pics, ads whatever)
    I wish everyone out there the best of luck in pursuing an addiction free life and in finding true happiness!

    There is a little more to this story concerning my father but this is all I have the strength to share right now.
    Btw I am from Scandinavia so if my English isn't that great. that's why :)
     
    mr mister, Jun 21, 2019
    mr mister, Jun 21, 2019
    #1
    Chaugiveupporn and Deleted Account like this.
  2. Jun 21, 2019 #2
    Deleted Account

    Deleted Account Guest

    Hello and welcome! :)

    We are glad to have you as a part of our community. Here are some quick links to get you started.

    - You can set up your day counter here
    - You can find the forum usage guide here
    - Here is we’re you will find a glossary of terms often used in the nofap community. Glossary
    - You can also find a guide to the basics of rebooting here
    - If you wish to keep a journal of your progress you can do so in the appropriate section found here

    There are plenty of wonderful, friendly and knowledgeable people here to help you along on your journey to a life free of PMO. I wish you nothing but the best!
     
    Deleted Account, Jun 21, 2019
    Deleted Account, Jun 21, 2019
    #2
  3. Jun 21, 2019 #3
    moulox

    moulox Fapstronaut

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    Welcome. Reading you're from Scandinavia really got me wondering since down here on South Europe the rumor is that girls up there are some of the easiest to hook up with, in comparison to ours of course.

    From what I can tell from what you said, MOing to porn has played a significant part in you not pursuing to get a girlfriend and I'm afraid (since even vid's can't do it for you anymore) that it most probably has given you ED. I don't want to spook you but if what I think is true you have some very difficult times coming towards you and this is not an understatement, I barely make it through every day myself.

    Quitting PMO is the first step on the right track but I highly suggest you start seeing a psychotherapist who will help you to confront your shyness issue which seems to be the main problem with you (and the one you used PMO to cope with). Also follow what is commonly suggested in this forum (find hobbies and activities, proper nutrition, working out etc). Lastly get to educate yourself on how to be more successful with the ladies (you can do it by youtube vid's or reading a book) because that is certainly will come into play later - just being a nice, well manured guy sadly won't get you much success with the ladies. Support from your friends would be very beneficial but you should carefully choose the one's that you gonna share your problem with and be prepared that you may be dissapointed by their inability/disinterest on them helping you.

    Good luck
     
    moulox, Jun 21, 2019
    moulox, Jun 21, 2019
    #3
  4. Jun 21, 2019 #4
    Koloz

    Koloz Fapstronaut

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    welcome
     
    Koloz, Jun 21, 2019
    Koloz, Jun 21, 2019
    #4
  5. Jun 21, 2019 #5
    mr mister

    mr mister New Fapstronaut

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    Thank you for the response. I will take this in consideration :)
    psychotherapist scares me but i will certainly try!
     
    mr mister, Jun 21, 2019
    mr mister, Jun 21, 2019
    #5
  6. Jun 22, 2019 #6
    Always be positive

    Always be positive Fapstronaut

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    This will help you a lot, watch this and say goodbye to urges forever

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/if-youre-struggling.232140/

    But however urges are sometimes attacking even if you are focused on something else, when i got rid of those 1% foods which increases urges and started enjoying 99% other beautiful foods it became so much easyer for me ^_^
     
    Always be positive, Jun 22, 2019
    Always be positive, Jun 22, 2019
    #6

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