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I’m addicted to hearing about girls’ sex lives

Discussion in 'Compulsive Sexual Behavior' started by superstorm250, May 21, 2019.

  1. I’ve known deep down that this was wrong since day one. That was a few years ago. It wasn’t until very recently that I’ve decided I’m done. It has to end. I need to stop.

    Yes I have a SO. However she knows nothing about this and I fear she will be less than understanding. She can never know the answer extent of this or she will be deeply hurt and unforgiving. No, I’ve never physically met anyone or cheated. But I still feel the chats are enough to infuriate her.

    Today is my first day on this forum. I had to reset today. From what I’ve been reading I need to press through to the point where the urges subside. I just have to keep busy and do it. Thank you for your advice
     
    need4realchg likes this.
  2. superstorm250

    superstorm250 Fapstronaut

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    Just wanted to update this thread, I have unfortunately relapsed with the addiction that I described in my first post. I gave into temptation because I had a couple days off work so it wouldn’t have mattered how long I ended up DM’ing with a girl about her sex life because I didn’t have to work. I ended up back on the subreddit and made 2 posts, one on each day I had off. Each post got 1 reply, but on the upside both girls ghosted me shortly after we had began messaging so we really didn’t get to talking about their sex lives. Still count it as a relapse though since I made a post and attempted to do this again.
     
    TimeToQuitNow likes this.
  3. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    Just keep trying. It's only 2 slip ups. And hopefully you are back at work so it'll take up your messaging time
     
    superstorm250 likes this.
  4. superstorm250

    superstorm250 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I’m back at work until next week and I’m good about not giving in when I have to work. I am afraid of slipping up again next week when I’m off though, I guess I’m gonna have to keep myself busy enough to where there’s no time to do it. I wish that I wasn’t turned on by this, and like I said in my first post, its even worse with this subreddit because the girls who respond to my posts know going into it that I’m getting off to what they’re telling me and they’re cool with that, whereas most were unaware of my true intentions on the whisper app. I think this turns me on because I’m talking to a real person about their real life sexual encounters and it just feels so much more personal than watching a porn video, but doing this is way more time consuming than watching a video.
     
    TimeToQuitNow likes this.
  5. Luvspin68

    Luvspin68 Fapstronaut

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    Is your sex life satisfying with your SO? Just wondering why the compulsion to need “more” or “something else”.
     
  6. superstorm250

    superstorm250 Fapstronaut

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    I don’t have a SO, I’m almost 26 and I’ve never had one. I have also only had sex once and have only kissed a girl once as well, I have only been on 1 date too, which was when the onetime kiss and sex happened and that was 4 years ago. At this rate, I just don’t see it happening for me and the majority of girls don’t want a guy in his mid 20’s who’s so inexperienced, so I believe that talking to girls about their sex lives and getting off to what they tell me is the closest I will come to being sexually active. I’ll just have to live vicariously through their sex lives that they have with guys who are experienced enough and also good enough to be sexually active.
     
  7. Luvspin68

    Luvspin68 Fapstronaut

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    I see....... but don’t sell yourself short. There is a woman out there who would not care about “ experience “
    Most women look for kind, intelligent,thoughtful, compassionate and real before sexual experience.
    And we don’t necessarily care about
    “Looks” either.

    If you are well groomed and have good style that is half the battle.
    Don’t give up!!!!!
     
  8. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    That's quitters talk. Don't be so down on yourself. There are plenty of women who won't care. Any that do aren't worth your time
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  9. superstorm250

    superstorm250 Fapstronaut

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    Been meaning to reply to this, but I’ve been really busy with work. I just don’t see it that way, the way I see it happening is that every time the subject of dating history and past relationships comes up (and it would be brought up by her because I definitely wouldn’t bring it up), she’ll be turned off by my lack of experience and we’ll stop seeing each other, and that will just happen every single time with every girl. I think that Luvspin68 is trying to downplay how important experience is to girls, I think its higher up on the list than how she describes it and most girls will just be expecting a higher level of experience from a guy who’s my age and them finding out will both surprise them and turn them off.
     
    TimeToQuitNow likes this.
  10. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    What girls care most is you not giving a f. Yes, your lack of experience is a drawback but its not that bad. Just own up to it and stop caring so much about what the girl thinks of this and that. Thats the mindset you need to work on, even if you had experience, with that mindset you'd not do well anyway.

    Id suggest having some standards for the girls as well, you actually should be interested if she had too many partners cause thats not a good sign for a long term relationship.

    And generally, dont act like you're going to an interview only, shes there to be interviewed as well.

    Having standards and not being desperate for sex or for a relationship is very important.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  11. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    How many times has this happened to you? Just have a good time and be honest. Don't worry so much on the opinions of random women and find one you can be compatible with that doesn't care about experience too much.

    There are plenty of women who also aren't experienced. Others that just don't care. There are over 3 billion women on the planet. At least one of them will be fine with you.
     
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  12. superstorm250

    superstorm250 Fapstronaut

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    Thanks for being truthful about it being a drawback, but I think it actually is worse than you describe. Its not just girls rejecting you because of it, but also not knowing anything about courting/attraction because not knowing about that puts you at a disadvantage too. I do have standards and I don’t go for any girl that I can find and since I’ve been alone my entire life, I’m used to it and don’t pursue out of desperation.
     
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  13. superstorm250

    superstorm250 Fapstronaut

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    Its never happened to me, but I’m expecting it to because I’ve read countless stories from other guys in my age group who have said that they get rejected because of it all the time and they feel trapped in a catch-22 because of their inexperience. In my age group, finding an inexperienced girl is even harder than finding a needle in a haystack and even if I did, inexperienced girls prefer a guy with experience because they don’t want 2 people who don’t know what they’re doing fumbling around cluelessly in bed. And if your next advice was to just find a younger girl, they like guys older than them because they have more experience both with sex and with relationships so when they learn that I have less experience than they do despite being older than them, they won’t want anything to do with me. You just can’t win when you’re in this situation, I really think there’s no one for me, not even out of 3 billion and I’ve strongly felt this way for a long time.
     
    TimeToQuitNow likes this.
  14. Jackb97

    Jackb97 Fapstronaut

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    That shit turns me off. I want a girl to act like shes a virgin I don't want to be hearing how shes getting dicked down.
     
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  15. Lol. I know what you mean... the woman in the strip club isn’t my first pick either. BUT... nothing more annoying than a girl who is too virgin to be bad when she wants to be. Or when you are provoking her and she’s like embarrassingly awkward with what happens next. I hate having to like pick up her hand and say: “ put it here baby”, blah blah blah.

    Fuck that.
     
  16. ultrafabber

    ultrafabber Fapstronaut

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    Listen, being experienced gives you access to a wider range with girls and being able to handle more types of girls, but you dont want a particulat range of girls anyway, they're too "fiesty" for their own good.

    Its very good youre not desperate for a relationship or sex but whats holding you back imo is not your lack of experience but rather lack of frame, that is being centered on what they want rather than what you want.

    Didnt you have colleagues or friends in school that just naturally got girls? They had 0 experience but still got them, thats because of how they acted and, counter intuitively enough, that they didnt care about being interesting and attracting girls in the first place.

    I understand where you're comming from cause i was like you
     
    TimeToQuitNow likes this.
  17. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    This sounds like you are giving up. You are making sweeping generalizations about women. There are women in there 30s who are virgins. Maybe they're waiting till marriage and just never found the right guy. Maybe they are by most people's standards ugly. Maybe they focused too much on there jobs and never looked for a man. But in any case they exist. And 26 isn't 30.


    Try going on a date and seeing how it goes. When the topic comes up just be honest and confident about it. Say "I'm actually a virgin" with a big smile on your face :D. Make it light and playful. Maybe they'll feel like it's no big deal.

    Also if that's not convincing you can always move to a country where it's typical to wait longer. Just saying :rolleyes:
     
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  18. superstorm250

    superstorm250 Fapstronaut

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    Yeah but that’s definitely not a bad thing to have access to a wider range of girls and handle different types of them better. I know what I want, it’s just that this is holding me back because I know its gonna sabotage me and kill my chances with anyone I would be interested in. Yes I did back when I was in high school, but no one had experience back then and everyone was just starting out and learning about dating and sex at the same time, so it was more acceptable and expected to be inexperienced at that time. But now, most people have learned a lot about dating and sex and have gotten experience with both over the years, so being just as inexperienced as you were in high school in your mid 20’s definitely isn’t expected and not nearly as acceptable as it was back then because most people have experience by this age group.
     
  19. superstorm250

    superstorm250 Fapstronaut

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    I pretty much already have given up. I know that there are girls like that, I’m just saying that they’re pretty rare and that they don’t want an inexperienced guy anyway, and I’m not waiting till marriage so I wouldn’t aim for a girl like that either. There’s nowhere for me to even find a date, I work alone with the exception of my 1.5 month summer job that I do every year, so I have no opportunities for me to even find someone for that. I’m not a virgin either, but I’ve only had sex once and I’ve only kissed someone one time. That’s another piece of pointless advice that I’ve seen given to other guys who are in this situation, its ludicrous to move to another country just because you’re inexperienced with dating and sex, that’s gotta be one of the worst reasons to uproot your life and move that far away, and I’m sure that no guy who has been given that advice has ever decided to do that.
     
  20. Ra's Al Ghul

    Ra's Al Ghul Fapstronaut

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    How do you know that was really an 18 year old girl? Couldve been an extremely obese 60 year old unkempt slovenly man larping as a young girl.
     

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