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I ruined my life, i have to start from zero at 34...

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by arkad1, Jun 18, 2019.

  1. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    So, i probably destroyded my life with porn, it totally controlled my mind from 13 years old if not before. I basically never lived from that age to...maybe now..
    I grew up in a family that was quite a mess, but that is a point for me, at least i have an excuse for what i am now.
    I'm reaching 34 in july, never had a relationship, i've lived out of real estate buying and selling for the last 5 years, but in the last 1,5 years is getting quite bad, i'm kinda living out of savings right now and not gaining enough money anymore.
    I don't have any useful degree, don't have "sellable" work experience, never really "fiished" something in my life. It would be super hard, almost impossible for me to land any decent job, and difficult to land even a not decent one.
    My parent's are getting older, theyr family activity is going not very well anymore, that's why i exited 6 years ago to find my way. So, i can't (and i don't want even, if possible) get back working with them, and they also have theyr money problems right now.

    I see my friends, relatives and acquaintances getting married, getting sons, having good degrees and stably working, and i'm still like a big kid, never did anything useful in my life, if not gaining some (not that much) money in the last 5 years out of bald real estate investments which i can't land anymore.

    I started nofap one year ago, and it send me in the darkest place ever, or maybe, it just really showed the place i've ever been and never saw i was in, maybe it showed me reality.
    I told you the cons, the pros are:
    -i have savings to live another 1,5 year, maybe 2 (45.000 euro, more or less, if i don't fuck them up in the last real estate investment i'm finishing)
    -I sometimes in life had come out with incredible soulitions\new things totally out of nowhere (but that is totally random, and i've been just at the bottom of depression and suicidal thoughts for the last year, so, i don't believe in that sparkle at the moment)


    Any comment, good or bad, is appreciated, i would like to hear if someone (maybe of my age or more) is in the same situation, and talk about that if you want.

    Sorry if many times i've been an asshole on the forum, nofap reality is still fucking me up.

    Enjoy



    P.s. I live in italy
     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2019
  2. Stick with it bro, NoFap is not easy all the time. I wish My life was better as well, but porn is not going to fix it. Just keep learning from any relapses u have. Good luck bro dont give up.
     
    arkad1 likes this.
  3. Pure Taste

    Pure Taste Fapstronaut

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    Dirty rhymes, go with dirty drugs.
    There was a time, I felt blurry stuck.
    It was dark and of course it was rough.
    The unprotected roots of my past.
    .
    I´m not begging you to suffer with me.
    Just mean, that we all look for this key.
    Back in the day, the dreams were clear.
    Let´s meet ourselves again in this sphere.
     
    arkad1 likes this.
  4. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    I like it, is that a song or poetry?
     
    Pure Taste likes this.
  5. You are in your early 30's right now to make it right for the next decade. Start with small goals or write what you want to accomplish long term. If it's pmo that's blocking you, you need to work it on it by taking small actions. For instance, think about how far you'll be if you finish the rest of the year without pmoing. Then take it from there to next year(2020). I was in your shoes last year although I'm not done rebooting yet but I make some progress. I've started my last reboot(hardmode) in July 2018, now I'm almost at 11 months and moving forward. There are a lot nofappers who are still struggling with pmo and they're in their 40 to 50 years old. A lot of them on reddit, gotta search them on the site if you want to.
     
    arkad1 and Pure Taste like this.
  6. yyz33

    yyz33 Fapstronaut

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    you can do it.
     
    arkad1 likes this.
  7. Pure Taste

    Pure Taste Fapstronaut

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    Heyy, I usually write for Songs.
     
    arkad1 likes this.
  8. Hey man, I'm not an expert, but I don't think your experience with the real estate market amounts to nothing!

    And if you can't use it to find a job, perhaps you could consider moving to another city, where the situation is better?

    Anyway, if you feel like you don't know what to do, I'd suggest you talk with a career counselor. A friend of mine is one and she helps a lot of people change careers and value the experience they have so they can present themselves in the best possible way to companies. And it wouldn't be a huge investment..

    Anyway don't put yourself down and keep fighting this PMO bull****
     
    arkad1 likes this.
  9. fredisthebes

    fredisthebes Fapstronaut

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    Don't knock the achievement of having a comfortable amount of savings in the bank at 34. Most people have nothing, or even debt. Use the next year wisely, invest in courses or even work experience/volunteering. Get yourself a job, no matter how humble or part time, it'll make the savings go down slower and get you back into the mindset of employment.
     
    Freeddom_Taker likes this.
  10. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    Well, i live in italy, the jobs situations is not great, or you have a degree, or it is super hard to find one. I don't know if there are career counsellor here, but i don't think thy're really useful here :D
     
  11. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    Yep, i agree.

    About courses, i spent a really big amount of money on courses in the last 5\6 years (real estate and trading courses). But nothing that can land a real job, maybe i can find a really useful course, i'll search, thank you.
     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2019
    Deleted Account likes this.
  12. I'd suggest trying, maybe won't help, but what if it does? :)
    E sono italiano pure io, come pure l'amica di cui accennavo ;)
    Otherwise you can look for a job abroad. I see you can speak English ;)
     
  13. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    :D

    Interessante il lavoro della tua amica, come si chiama in italiano? Magari guardo se c'è ne uno dalle mie parti. Fa parte di un'agenzia del lavoro?

    Let's see i can write english, i've read many books in english, but i've never been abroad really speaking it, i can understand american well, i've been to the Gatwick and Heatrow airports once, i don't understand a word english people say :D, maybe i just have to get used to the english pronunciation.

    Ci devo pensare, se andassi all'estero, ora come ora, forse preferirei un paese con cambio favorevole e buona qualità della vita (tailandia, bali...) per investire i risparmi che ho da parte in un'attività che mi permetta di vivere o di lavorare in proprio.
     
  14. Mmm prova a cercare "career coach", "job coach", "consulente di carriera".. vedi se c'è qualcuno che ti ispira.
    One of them helped me prepare for the interview that got me my current job. Maybe it was useless and I could have done it anyway, but I don't regret spending those 50 euros.
    They can also help with preparing your CV, and helping you find potential jobs.

    Ah, Thailand, not bad!
     
    arkad1 likes this.
  15. ReclaimedLife

    ReclaimedLife Fapstronaut

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    Mate you earn much more with your non-existent degrees then i do working my regular job. In my profession it is almost impossible to rack up 45000Euro.
    Is there is reason you can't stick with the real estate business?

    And nofap is a very dark path at the beginning, because it shows us the reality that we ran away from up until that point.
    If you ever want to be with a woman, i suggest you stick to it, no matter how bad it makes you feel.

    How would it feel to find a woman you really enjoy being with, getting together and actually being able to sleep with her, knowing that you stuck to nofap?
    Now imagine the opposite...
    Which way you think is better for yourself in the future? What do you want for yourself?
     
  16. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    I searched for some, they look a lot like "Life coach", and people who came from nlp (programmazione neuro linguistica), but maybe i'll still try :)
     
    MadJackMcMad likes this.
  17. arkad1

    arkad1 Fapstronaut

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    In the last 2 years i earned probably only 10.000 a year, so i'm living out of better deals i've made previously. 10.000 a year means the business is going slow, and i'm eating my savings...
     

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