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What I look for in a woman

Discussion in 'Off-topic Discussion' started by Deleted Account, Jun 17, 2019.

  1. One who puts out for celibration not manipulation
    One who doesn't try to tell me what I can and can't do.
    One who isnt jealous that knows they have nothing to worry about.
    One that has her own life and can take care of herself.
    One who matches my level of intelligence or close enough.
    One who is not overly fat.
    One who is continously interesting.
    One that tells you straight what's wrong.
    One who adds to your fire not one that kills it.

    If they're not like this there not for me.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 17, 2019
    Rehab101 and Ra's Al Ghul like this.
  2. You’re going to die alone...
     
  3. Half those were qualities that would negate the need or want of you.

    Number 1 is wrong on so many levels.

    @ccrowegreen want to weigh in on this
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  4. IamOlive

    IamOlive Fapstronaut

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    Err yeah. If these are the qualities you want in a woman, you are not looking for a partner or a lover. Women do not want to be treated or thought of in these ways.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  5. As a woman, I actually don't have much of a problem with this list, except this one point.

    This is just not a healthy way to live and to desire a relationship to be. I understand not wanting someone who is nagging you all the time, but your partner should be able to feel comfortable telling you if something you're doing is wrong, if it's hurting them or someone else or yourself, if it's unhealthy, etc. How else do you find growth?

    I mean, just last night, my husband was having an intense conversation with his sister and she ended up crying. And after she left, I had to sit down with him and kindly tell him that if he's going to continue that conversation with her, he needs to be more compassionate and listen more and try to understand her feelings, instead of getting too hung up on telling her his own views, because if he doesn't, he's going to hurt her deeply and I don't want that for either of them. He doesn't want that either, and he said I was right, and that he would tell her that he wants to listen to her more and have a more respectful conversation.

    So... how would that situation have gone if I wasn't allowed to tell him what he can and can't do? Technically, I didn't tell him he CAN'T be a jerk and ignore her feelings. But I did tell him that he shouldn't. And if he was doing something like drugs or something then yes, I would absolutely be telling him he CANT do that.
     
  6. @Self Worth It's great to already have standards at this young age, where guys usually jump on everything that moves. Of course your standards will develop with you as your streak gets further, you get older and more mature in the long term and your understanding of the game gets better.

    Don't worry, you will make a good choice.
     
  7. Actually, this one might be a tad problematic as well. Mostly just because most human beings are not interesting 24/7. I doubt you are interesting 24/7, so you can't really put that unrealistic standard on someone else.
     
  8. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    This or any similar list can have every question qualified with the words "to me" at the end.

    Who someone is, supposedly objectively is different from how they are in relation to you - and in the context of a relationship that makes all the difference. Just to take the fairly neutral one of being interesting, why do we care if a partner is not interesting to everybody else but is interesting to us? Actually that might be kind of special if you stop and think about it. It depends on the perspective and the "beholder" as they say.
     
  9. I agree with what you did and i would be happy with that kind of behavior, i would prefer that like i said i would prefer them to give it to me straight whats wrong. as for the drugs im not that type a person but i kind of get where your coming

    there maybe few exceptions but like what I mean is if shes controlling its a deal breaker for me if she trys to stop me doing things I love, I'm not going to want to be with her.
     
  10. i don't understand..

    like there is woman out there with these quality's and would do for a partner or lover?

    I don't want to be treated that way that's why i say no to manipulation and being bossed around and needy people, i don't want that
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 18, 2019
  11. It's fine for not wanting someone who uses sex as a weapon. However, the more time I get on my counter, the more I start to see sex as an expression of love. The guys who say that sex is way better when you're in love with the person, probably don't watch porn. "Puts out" wouldn't have bothered me before, but it makes me cringe a little, now.
    I see that as a "shit-test." I think it's more important that you stand up yourself and don't let someone try to make you do something that you don't want to do.
    I would probably try to reassure her, first (assuming there was no reason for her to feel jealous), and if it keeps happening, then I may move on, thinking she may have trust issues.
    I see nothing wrong with these, as long as you are bringing the same things or different things of equal value to the table.
    LOL
    That's beautiful, man. I would love this, too. Sounds like real love to me :)
     
  12. not 24/7 yea thats unrealistic but like you could say that guys always breaking his bones but maybe only break his bones once a year like i just mean the interest doesn't die she continues to be interesting you know
     
  13. One who puts out for celibration not manipulation

    "Puts out" is very objective term in my opinion and it may have set my guard off with the redt of the list. And the fact that this is your number 1 on the list.

    One who doesn't try to tell me what I can and can't do.

    This is just part of marriage, you dont live for just you anymore and her for her. A partnership requires compromise and concession or it fails. My wife tells me daily what I can do for her, she also tells me when there are things I can not do. These are called boundaries. They make it work.

    One that has her own life and can take care of herself.

    This implies that you only are interested in the sex, you really are not i terested in a relationship you want a friemd with benefits. If she has her own life and can take care of herself why would she want to have you in it. A marriage you take care of each other, not gi your own way and soeak in the halway or bedroom

    One who adds to your fire not one that kills it.

    So do you want her to have her own life and not need you, or is she supposed to complinent you and make you better...if she is ficused on herself she cant very well be motivation for your betterment

    Im not even discussing the overly fat or interesting.

    Most of your list is objectifying or in some cases controlling, but i realize everyi e is different and thats my interpretation. Good lick to you I do wish you the best, but I fear you will be looki g for a long time as someone else put it.
     
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  14. I agree with your other points, but in my opinion, these two are too harsh. I don't think he meant them that way. I absolutely love my husband, but I definitely want him to have his own life and be able to take care of himself, and I want the same for myself, because neither of us are unhealthily dependent on each other or needy. I spend time with him because I want to, because I love him, not because I feel like I NEED to, because I have no life outside of him. That would be really unhealthy and stifling.

    And as for the fire thing, I think that's completely reasonable! Who would want to be with someone who is always bringing them down and putting down their dreams? I have a lot of things I'm passionate about, because I'm a big dreamer, and even though my husband isnt like that really, I LOVE that he supports me 100% and cheers me on when I'm passionate about something! That's a great quality to have in a relationship.

    I think you're being overly picky here. Wanting your partner to have their own life and not being dependent on you does not mean that you only care about sex, or that you don't want them to be a part of your life too. I personally have a lot of hobbies that don't involve my husband, and I'm grateful that he has his own life as well, or else I would feel bad for pursuing my own dreams and leaving him behind to just sit around and wait for me to return. Either he would just be dependent on me and waiting around for me, or I would have to give up my own dreams to cater to his every need, neither of which are healthy options.
     
  15. Like I said it was my opinion. I am not here because I have it all together and healthy. My wife will attest to those facts. I meant my opinions in an effort to help and give my take on the list of qualities nothing more and certainly not in a ridiculing manner, I apologize ifs thats how it came accros.
     
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  16. My only few
    1) loyal
    2) resourceful
    3) problem solver

    Big no are-
    1) party animal (they can't keep relationship going for longterm)
    2) career over her child
    3) had too many sexual partners in past (tells something about character)
     
  17. I didn't think it was ridiculing. I was just giving my opinion as well. And yes, of course none of us have it all together.
     
  18. The fat one made me laugh, although I agree. I think if you were, say, married to someone who was in shape (or at least not fat) back then, but you spent around 10 years or so with them (investing a lot into the relationship), only for you to suddenly get really fat would be a terrible thing to do to your spouse. Then there's the awkward conversation of trying to ask them to lose weight. :oops:

    Besides, it's unhealthy, anyway. Personally, I wouldn't want my wife to be such.
     
  19. Yeah, I hope I never have to have that conversation lol. I agree completely. I spend a lot of time with fitness and nutrition. It's fair that I should expect that in my partner. Plus, it's a passion we can both share. Now, if I was overweight (and not a millionaire) it'd be pretty hypocritical to expect to get some kind of fitness model gf. You always see rich old guys with young hot wives lol.
     
  20. my standards:
    1) a real woman
    that's all folks
     
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