Binging after nearly a year clean

Stuff like this happens all the time. U not 1st and deffo not last. So what. Was the year good? Cool.

 

Exactly. If you enjoyed those days while on nofap, then it was not time wasted. You have the memories, they will forever live with you, unlike PMO. No one has fond memories of PMO. No one is proud to admit they're doing it. It's pointless, but you've decided to step out of it. Live your life and start a new streak.

 

The measure of success ought to be proportion of good days over a year rather than streak length. You have done beautifully.

 

You reached some really great streaks. Please get back up and recover. Good luck

 

This is one reason why I don't think a long streak is the only measure of success. There are guys that probably developed a lot of will power and a good routine that works most of the time, but there's always those stressful times when life throws a curve ball.

I think your instinct is right on about the subconscious, it may be time to dig deeper rather than just go longer. Instead of just hacking a habit you may embark on the journey of nothing less than hacking and mastering your own mind.

 

A week ago I binged for the first time in maybe eight months or so. It really felt like crap.

A week clean makes a big difference though. One binge, while regrettable, doesn't ruin everything.

If you lived a really healthy lifestyle for a year, then had one really unhealthy day, it might feel shitty but it's hardly going to undo all the benefits of the healthy year.

 

I identify, having relapsed 29 days ago after two PMO's: before that about 2 years porn-free.

One question - was there anything you felt angry and resentful about (maybe unknown to yourself) before acting out?

We begin by healing our relationship with God and ourselves - then with others.

 

You know you have the power to avoid it, you've already proven that to yourself. Use your pain & frustration to come back stronger and better.

 

First congrats on a quick realization you've made a mistake and are prepared to continue with recovery right away. This is no small feat. Many of us have fallen in the past and stay down long, long time, before picking ourselves up again.

Addiction is very complex thing. Abstention is a must but only one step on a long journey to recovery and self-improvement. Maybe this video can share some light coming from recovered guy with decades of buzz/drugs and compulsive behaviors abuse. It took him +3 years of very hard work to reach this stage:

LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF (7 TIPS): -> if you don't learn to like yourself, you'll be miserable and may fall back into addiction

1. watch your thoughts -> your thoughts will self-sabotage you. They'll tell you that you're a failure/useless/horrible person. Try to disregard them. They're not true.

2. support -> you need to be mixing with like-minded positive people (online/in real life groups). Seek positivity

3. forgive yourself -> feelings of guilt, regret… What's done is done, it's only one way you're moving now and that's forward. Mistakes you've made are part of your learning/growth. No one is perfect. You can't dwell on those otherwise it will sabotage you. We're all perfectly imperfect.

4. self-care -> this takes three forms

a) physical self-care (diet, exercise, getting out in the sunlight, grooming-> taking showers, neat bed...)

b) emotional well-being (root of all addiction is pain somewhere. Maybe you'll need professional help to discover it and address it)

c) spiritual well-being (learning to be alone, learning to pray/meditate, breathe properly)

5. find your passion -> with passion will come life purpose

6. stop comparing with others -> forget about what people think about you, because they don't think about you that often and it doesn't matter. You can't effect that, you can't control it. Stop looking at pictures, social media… and comparing yourself with other people. You're unique, you're you, perfectly imperfect

7. gratitude -> look at what you do have, not what you don't have. Realize how lucky you are to have this second chance

You're always with your-self so you might well start enjoying the company
1. YOU CAN'T BE LONELY IF YOU LIKE THE PERSON YOU'RE ALONE WITH
2. MAKE PEACE WITH A MIRROR AND WATCH YOUR REFLECTION CHANGE

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Well depending on how thorough you may want to get, a journal/inventory might be a good idea. I am not really into the historical moral inventory that traditional recovery seems to focus on, but since you are working on the mind it just makes sense to track it's activities. Certainly choice in media consumption would be one, but also the stuff your mind tends to dwell on by itself the rest of the time. Hmmm now I'm motivated and might do something like that!

 

Hey just a few question since you went so far. Did the urges stop for the most part or did you still have urges on a regular basis? When did your flatline happen and for how long? What were the benefits of nofap for that year?

 

Did you flatline after the binge?