Lost friends

you going to loose friends whether you are addicted to porn or not

 

i don't have friends too

 

ِAnd..........

 

in the end , all i learned is how to be a strong alone

 

Life is all about meeting new people. You loose friends today, you’re gonna meet new people and become good friends tomorrow.
Life’s not about desperate about having no friends. It’s about making new ones and making the old ones miss your friendship badly.

 

Maybe a different view, but I gather you're looking to fulfil your need through externalities, i.e. your need for being cared of can only be fulfilled by being around other people. I disagree with this view, I think you first need to be your friend and take care of you as you'd take care of your best friend.

I'm 37 without friends and until recently Friday evenings were a disaster, because I imagined everyone else was out and laughing and having fun. I felt lonely and sad because of my lack of friends, while being jealous and mad at the world that they're having fun and I am not; self pity didn't get me far. Once I processed the emotions of loneliness and of neediness, Friday evenings became blessing because I get to spend time with the person I now see as the most important: myself. I get to read, I get to walk in forests, I get to think about my future. Drinks with friends are fleeting moments of running away from pain, disguised as happy times; being with yourself and examining your life has the value of centering you and solving your problems are joyful moments disguised as "boring stuff".

I'd start with what's behind difficult emotions and how to handle them:
https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.php?threads/a-primer-on-dealing-with-negative-emotions.235876/

I'll write some other posts on how to take care of one self and how to see yourself as the most important person in your life.

 

I agree to start off by being comfortable being alone. But don't be afraid to reach back out to those people and suggest meeting up sometime. Who knows, you might end up rekindling the friendship.

 

Maybe it has nothing to do with PMO addiction, and maybe it was just because of my social awkwardness, but I lost some good friends at age 13-15 since I didn't keep in contact with them. I had two good friends, both girls, which I stopped keeping contact with since I felt too awkward being around them. We had been close friends since age of 6 and most of the time had great time together. However, when I discovered porn, it all became pretty awkward for me. It didn't help either that people at school started to gossip about me being friends with girls, which made me uncomfortable (no reason for that but I was really socially awkward back then and cared too much about what others thought about me). Now that my social awkwardness isn't that bad anymore and I have kicked porn out of my life I regret cutting the contact with them.

I'd like to meet them again, but for some reason, whenever I see them around (which happens few times a year) I just can't bring myself to open my mouth. I instantly start feeling ashamed of myself and not worthy of their time anymore and so I just keep walking. I don't know whether they would like to talk to me or not. I don't know if they thought it was their fault that I just stopped contacting them.

I'm okay with things this way, since it is all in the past now, and I know that it isn't easy to just start again after years of silence. I'm just hoping they didn't blame themselves back then and found some good friends. I know it's all in the past but I just can't stop thinking about it whenever I see them around.

Now that I'm reading this, my whole post is just overdramatic, but I just don't know how to tell about it any other way. Don't judge me )

 

A good song to go with this post:


WARNING, THIS SONG WILL MAKE YOU CRY!

 

I've lost many friends in the past. They act like friends you can do things like drinking, doing a trip etc.. But after a while they turn one's back on me because of stupid rumors or I did something what they didn't like which gave them the reason to break the contact to me. In the last point I admit it wasn't right what I did but some of them did things which were worse than my mistakes - including betraying the partner of the man/woman or bitching about one of their friends and the person knows it.

I have just a few friends (2-3 true friends) and see them only on vacation. But those are the only ones who accept how I am and only ones where I can talk about anything - and that is as worth as gold.

 

If you are so strong being alone then why you always say want someone to talk with because you feel alone?

 

Happened with me same and at same age when I was 14.