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Don't bother

Discussion in 'Rebooting - Porn Addiction Recovery' started by Valier(|[{<=>}]|), Oct 20, 2018.

How many of you going to think how long I am going to last

Poll closed Feb 16, 2019.
  1. 10 days

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  2. 5 days

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. NICEDUDE

    NICEDUDE Fapstronaut

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    Don't lose heart if you have kept on binging. Gather your thoughts and try to find out why exactly you want to do this on monk mode. While we are on this journey we must be enthusiastic and motivated. Start praying for at times in life we require divine intervention to strengthen our will force. Meanwhile on day 5 i had an urge that lasted for few hours. I just observed and did not act upon it. At times I start lifting weights to control my primal urges. We must abstain from pmo for 15 days, come what may! No one has ever died because of sexual urges!
    5/15
     
    Professor Abraham likes this.
  2. Thanks for supporting me we will complete this challenge.
     
    Professor Abraham and NICEDUDE like this.
  3. So I did it I gave my streak for pmo but let me tell its not worth it it only give mere seconds of enjoy but after that you realise that what you have done. It been 3 year you are try to quit pmo so make a choice not an option.
     
  4. Day 0
    Don't know what to do. How many years you are doing this nofap and still unable to leave it. I think it is enough to say that you are severely addicted to porn. It's been 7 years now and still the desire to fap is not fulfilled. It is a blow with a big hole which is going to throw away all your efforts towards porn no matter how much you want to fulfill it. The more you pour the more it will demand form you. So stop it. If you can't do it now you will never able to do it. I know it will be hard but not impossible. Stay true towards the path and you will reach to the destination. Remember your life as of now is rated at -1 but after this challenge it will be 0. And then you can start new ways of living your life. Remember how many times you relapsed. It's not women stop looking at them as object all problems lies with your brain. Do 15 min meditation and during it think opposite porn clean you mind from all the thoughts.
     
  5. DeathRaptor

    DeathRaptor Fapstronaut

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    Just don’t give up. I started 3 years ago trying to do it on my own. Relapsing about every three days. About a week ago something clicked for me. A few different things fell into place, and I was able to make a commitment in my mind that I was finally going to quit for good. There were some roadblocks in the way that finally got dissolved—some by me, some by luck. I’ve been there, feeling like it’s something that will never end. But when it clicks, it clicks. I can’t describe the feeling, but this time feels 100% different. I know I will not fail. You can get there if you don’t give up. Over the last three years I’ve learned so much. So many techniques like mindfulness meditation, learning about addiction, fear of failure (my personal demon), and so on. We all have our reasons for getting addicted. It’s a way to fill your time and avoid pain in the most general sense. Keep learning and moving forward and DO NOT beat yourself up for relapsing. That will only make it worse.
     
    bigboibez likes this.
  6. Day 1
    First step towards victory. Feeling good no more urges. I think if I ignore the thought of pmo then I can do it. The small things such as watching something or touching yourself makes you do pmo. So don't touch yourself or watching anything and you will be fine.
     
    NICEDUDE and andi1987 like this.
  7. Confessions
    Yesterday I was watching YouTube come to some explicit scenes and from there I decided to just watch some porn but no fapping. I opened the porn site try to watch some good stuff but I couldn't find any interesting I spend half an hour surging videos and then I left the sites put my mobile down gone to sleep. I made a terrible mistake of visiting sites now I know how close I was to relapse. I now understand when you want to only see some porn and not to fapp but you slowly move to a point where it is impossible to come back without fapping.
     
  8. Why I am doing nofap ?

    1. Social issues- I am suffering from social anxiety. I don't have friends. I don't hang out anywhere with or without friend. For last five years I stayed at home never gone out. Sometimes I have gone outside to visit family members on their birthdays or events. I am shy to talk with stranger and avoid them at all cost. I don't feel the need of finding new people or be friends with them. I have no social life. I am not socially active on anything. I haven't seen my face or cared to take a picture of myself. For past years I have avoided to stay out of home and whenever I am out I make sure to come home as soon as possible.

    2. Bad personality -
    I consider myself a mediocre. I am not ugly or bad. But my personality is not good compared to most people. I never developed any traits. I don't feel that I need to impress anyone or attract others. I have a worst hairstyle and I don't want to get a haircut because I fucked up my hairline so I let my worst hairstyle. For past 21 years I haven't changed my hairstyle. I wear clothes which are branded but they won't suit me. I don't know how to talk properly in a flow. So people judge me on how I carry myself and because of fapping I don't give a fuck about their opinion on me. So I need this to build up my personality.

    3. Cowardly behaviour-
    I have a complicated behaviour. I am like that loud mouth person who say all tough talk but when facing with any problems he will try to take a easy route rather than solving it. I always try to avoid any problems. I always blame the situation and never try to face problems. I always make sure that I never go through any difficulty in my life. I always run away. I am not a reliable person, someone cannot trust me. I always avoid fighting and I am taking about verbal fight. I always let others walk over me. I do get angry but I do nothing. So I need this challenge to be a lion.
     
  9. Only Reason I haven't completed this challenge because of following things.
    1. Constant touching or scratching my balls.
    2. Overthinking about nofap and how many days I have completed.
    3. Watching some softcore porn/scenes/pictures.
    4. Always thinking about girls.
     
  10. bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

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    unbelievably excellent advice. I can relate in every way. I have not had that feeling of absolute guaranteed success because to say that causes me too much anxiety from fear of failure. however I know that however im feeling is only going to get better and relapsing is the absolute worst thing I could do. I am gonna take it day by day and fill my time.
     
  11. bigboibez

    bigboibez Fapstronaut

    706
    631
    93
    You're not busy enough man.

    Start the following

    Work
    Socialising
    Sports
    Lifting

    don't keep your phone or laptop in your room (in general, not just for PMO but also for productivity reasons)

    You know those days where youre just so busy you never even think about porn or even care? that's how your life needs to be. I tried and tried with a complacent lifestyle but you end up going round and round in a mental prison.

    You also need to get it into your head that ANYTHING to do with PMO is just going to stop your recovery. This includes erotic literature, searching for stuff on google but not actually going on the site, looking at your favourite stars on Instagram, searching erotic stuff on youtube. Ultimately you need to ask yourself why are you doing this? what is even the point if you're just going to do half measures that will ultimately lead you back to relapse? It takes a lot of courage and emotional work to make it clear in your mind that porn is actually a negative. lots of people know this logically but they simply can't actually believe it.

    Finally don't worry too much about nofap. as I said earlier it is much easier to forget about it all and fill your life with things you enjoy. ironically the less you care and think about it, the easier it'll be. I wish you luck
     
    NICEDUDE likes this.
  12. After long time I have visited this site. I was frustrated with my addiction so I left it. I did some streak and failed many times . The main reason I still didn't got it because I was fixed on binging after relapse I know now how wrong I was so for past week i adapted no binge policy. I have come up with some recovery plan also. So I will do it late or fast.
     
  13. So day 0
    I relapsed yesterday and i like to give a wake-up call to myself. I was doing for now 3 years. Yes you on it for 3 years. Stop being delusional and accept the fact that it is hurting you more that you are realising. It's 18th March now you promised yourself my this month you have overcome it. But you are still on day 0. I hate that i come here i am always on day 0. I feel that iam throwing a lot of time around. I have stopped myself because of this whole nofap thing. One good thing is that i am not binging anymore. I stopped it for 12 days now. My streaks are small now from 1 to 2 days but I will get to that 90 days mark. So why i relapsed Today. So let me be clean i was hard rock about not watching porn. Yes i had a wet dream but it has nothing to do with my relapse. There were no urges. Zero pain for sex. I wasn't even attracted to women. I was normal. But there were flashes of a movie which is a sexual movie with explicit sex scenes. So i was getting those flashes in my mind. I was telling myself to just take a look. No i just wanted to know it's name. Yes i was trying to remember the name but i forgot so i allowed myself to just go and see it. So i removed my pornblocker and open the sites see the name. After that i lost it. I was strolling for video's and watching them. I was lost in it. I was sure that i will not broke my streak. But as more time i spend watching porn going from one porn site to another video to video i was lost. Even in that surge i had a bit of conscience to tell myself that what i am doing is wrong but i chose to do a relapse. After doing it i felt bad for myself that i had broken my promise. It all happened because i watch the porn. It is 100 % clear watching porn will make you relapse sooner or later. My will was and is strong but i need to work on my discipline. I promise on this day that from now on no more relapse. If i do i will not call myself my father's son and i will be no man.
     
  14. Day 1
    Finally i got something to go on. I promise from now i will not let this number go to zero i will make sure that I always keep adding a number to my streak. I promise that not to fall for porn. No matter how many times those flashes of past porn come to me. Never go after them to find it or to watch it. That is the first step towards not doing pmo. So i will do it and i am serious about this. I have let the lust takeover me i was unware of love. Love towards myself. I never cared for myself. Always watching porn where people are doing acting nothing is true. I was leaving in fantasy but now it's time for reality so go hard.
     
  15. I hate to say it but i relapsed last night. It was done by me and not under any pressure. I did it knowing that it will cost me. I have reason for it and it not some useless excuse. When i relapsed before starting the streak i fap to a video which i had high hopes but it turned out a useless. So i had another movie which i choose to fap again. So i already plan my relapse by accepting that i am going to relapse. That was the original thought but my thinking about the video and holding my streak i realised that what i am doing is wrong. I realised that if i already decided that i will fail and do a relapse then why waste all those good days of streak which i had acquired by going through a lot pain and my relapsing going again through it. So i decided that rather making a good streak and relapse to it i would relapse now and make a hard rock decision no to do it again and get serious about it to leave it once and for all. So i relapse so i will not do it willingly anymore. Another thing i like to note here that your brain is smart thing and it will many things on you to relapse that's how after 2 years iam still in this mess. So another thing i observed that when you are watching porn you unconsciouslly attach your emotions to video which you watch on porn websites i am not talking about those video on which you fap but on those videos which you watch before deciding the fapping video so be careful. And yes now i am done with it. And i will throw it out my life.
     
  16. The loneliest people are the kindest. The saddest people smile the brightest. The most damaged people are the wisest. All because they don't wish to see anyone else suffer the way they did.

    Read this if you ever wanted to relapse and i hope you never will come here to write about it.
     
  17. Day 0
    Relapse

    So I learnt from my relapse that it happens when you allow to it. It can be stop if you take precautions if you make changes in your daily life. Because it's like a Strom that comes towards you very slowly you can feel it and see but if you don't make any changes then it will destroy you. I learnt will alone won't stop a relapse. Habits are the main culprit in my relapses. If I had kept my phone away from me at night I would have avoided it. Again I did relapsed on a video which I don't even seen for some second. After surfing through porn sites I fapped on one pathetic video. So it's shows that I have will to fight but my habit fails me.i make my journey a lot tougher my using phone at night, by straching my balls, by watching porn. I am 100% sure that if you watch porn you are bound to relapse. I know that I will relpase if I watch porn but I did it because I failed to change my habit. One thing I like to make it clear why I am running in circles. I know I won't do a binge then why do a relapse why waste all the progress to do one relapse and suffer again. Start from day 1. So certain rules are to be made to help me get atleast 10 days other wise I am stuck.
     
    flor3334 likes this.
  18. Thank for the advice I hope we both get over with it and leave porn for positive Life.
     
    flor3334 likes this.
  19. The evil is within me it lives with me. I know now only I can do this or leave this challenge. There is alternate version of that stops me from completing this challenge. So I know it was me who relapsed. I also know the many reasons behind my failure but the most important reason is constantly straching, touching my private. This is the reason behind my relapses. The main reason. The seed of my evil habits. So I am giving title to me.


    Title. Challenges
    Ratslayer. 3 Days
    Coyoteslayer. 7 Days
    Wolfslayer. 14 Days
    Bearslayer. 21 Days
    Elephantslayer. 30 Days
    Tigerslayer. 60 Days
    Lionslayer. 90 Days
    Dragonslayer. 365 Days
     
    Last edited: Aug 13, 2020
  20. I just read this entire thread and I've got to say some things.

    The reason you relapse is not because you scratch your balls. It's something else. You mentioned you have issues with your personality and appearance, so maybe you should start focusing on improving your self-esteem. Try to find new hobbies to fill your free time and make you busy.

    Most importantly, get real. For at least a year now you've been trapped in this cycle of relapsing, promising to do better next time, relapsing again and feeling sorry for yourself. Don't feel sorry for yourself. If you want to stop this cycle of less than 10 days streaks and go beyond, you have to change your whole life. An addiction like porn and masturbation doesn't exist in a vacuum, it has causes and triggers and you need to destroy the root of the problem. Trying to brute force your way by relying on willpower alone and counting the days will lead you nowhere. Also, stop compromising. If you make a plan to watch porn it is still a relapse, even if you don't fap. Do it cold turkey or don't do it at all.

    Get psyched up, show some determination! Raise your head, grit your teeth and EAT. THAT. HORSE. You can do it.
     

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