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How do you remember to never return to porn?

Discussion in 'Porn Addiction' started by skaterdrew, Jun 1, 2019.

  1. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Porn eventually loses it's grip. I read this on YBOP and I do believe it to be true due to the way I have been feeling about porn recently. For the most part the thought of going on porn seems boring to me these days. The last time I relapsed I actually found the porn boring at first, but then continued to masturbate to it anyway.

    There is still a few problems that I have though. Sometimes a sneaky random urge to search porn still creeps up on me from time to time. Porn has the potential to make guys who don't have a problem with porn extremely turned on. I believe regardless if you have a problem with porn or not it still can have the potential to be extremely appealing and sexually arousing.

    Porn and artificial sexual stimulation is everywhere these days, so it's impossible to never see it. You could be triggered by something as simple as an image quite easily, and that also goes for guys who don't have an issue with porn.

    Some guys can use porn as an occasional pass time and don't develop much of an issue with it. But for someone like me who has been heavily addicted to PMO for about a decade and then is cured of porn addiction, it isn't a good idea for someone like me to try and use porn moderately again. It is better to cut it out your life completely. The reason for this is even after your cured if you started using porn again it wouldn't take long for those old circuits to start creating strong connections again and old behaviours would return. An alcoholic or drug user who is clean doesn't start using again, because old behaviours return. It's the same with porn if you're a recovering porn addict.

    The thing is if you have been away from porn long enough and have had brain changes to the point your no longer addicted to porn and no longer have a sexual dysfunction caused by porn, then if you did end up using porn again and relapsed once you probably wouldn't notice much negative effects if any. The problem with this is it could trick guys in to thinking it is ok to occasionally PMO, and before you know it they would slowly or quickly go back to old behaviours, and the brain changes would happen again and sexual dysfunction would return.

    I find it easier to stay away from porn when I am well aware of it's negative effects. But what happens when you haven't experienced it's negative effects for months, years? What happens if you do end up on porn again and you enjoy it and don't experience any negative effects at first?

    I guess what I am asking is how do you always remember to never use porn again.
     
    Last edited: Jun 1, 2019
  2. Der Drachenkönig

    Der Drachenkönig Fapstronaut

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    What i do is doing my best to remember not only what PMO addiction has done to my life but also what porn stands for. In this case it's remembering the hours i spent ogling at pictures and/or videos on the internet, wasting valuable time which could have been best invested in improving my life and following my dreams, which naturally resulted in times of brain fog, depression, anxiety loneliness and other things i certainly DO NOT want to go back to. As for what porn stands for. Well what can i say? All of us know just how this industry works. Porn robs you of the interest to create actual bonds with people, not to mention the dehumanization of both men and women and other nasty things going on in there. Besides when you think about it, the thing over which you obsess so much and invest so many hours into are just pixels, pixels forming a distorted representation of a human being and of sexuality. This draws you into prefering and comparing a product designed to appeal and sell to real people. Others may disagree, but at least for me when taking all this into consideration they're more than enough reasons to not go back to porn.
     
    Deleted Account likes this.
  3. SuperFan

    SuperFan Fapstronaut

    I think the best long-term plan is to develop a mindset where you're repulsed by porn instead of attracted to it.

    Remember, not all arousing images are porn. There's no need to be hard on yourself over getting aroused by a billboard of a hot woman in a swimsuit. But porn and intentionally seeking out p-subs is a different ball of wax.

    I'd remind yourself of all the reasons why porn is bad for you. You can even check this thread that I just created as a reminder:

    https://www.nofap.com/forum/index.p...te-reasons-porn-is-bad-for-you-thread.235394/
     
  4. skaterdrew

    skaterdrew Fapstronaut

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    Yeah I think the problem is the seeking behaviour for an erotic buzz. For instance if you randomly seen a woman in a movie and thought to your self oh I like the look of her and even imagined stuff in your mind about her that isn't so bad. But if you started deliberately seeking images, videos of her on your computer for an erotic buzz then this is actually the problem.
     
  5. You have asked this same question in multiple threads over the past 2-3 weeks. I am curious why that is. Are you not liking what you are hearing? Hoping to get a different answer? Or what?
     
  6. TimeToQuitNow

    TimeToQuitNow Fapstronaut

    You need to make it clear to yourself that porn is in your past. It has no place in your life now or in the future. Best of luck to you
     
  7. Wayne Kest

    Wayne Kest Fapstronaut

    Laugh at the puny thoughts, and accept that it will still happen from time to time. Think of all of the precious time that you are wasting doing the deed, and the shit feeling that you get afterwards. How many "kenja time" moments do you need?
     
  8. Actually it's this same question all along. When you understand your addiction for the very first time and you start your Journey towards recovery you learn the simple truths that porn is bad for you and that you need to abstain from it, manage urges and so on and so on. This could be the happy ending of your Journey, but then the first relapse happens and you wonder "why didn't I remember what I just had learned? Why couldn't I apply it in the (literal) heat of the moment?"
    I still have to learn HOW to (always!) remember that I mustn't use porn and why. But I guess when you've worked it out for yourself, then it doesn't change with time: it will still be bad for you and of course you know, but if you loose this HOW then your addiction or what left of it will fool you again at the very next occasion.
    I'm glad for you that you're cured. But from your words I understand that there's still some risk of returning to the old habits and it's good that you're aware of it.
    I agree with you, however when you say "isn't a good idea", "it is better to" it doesn't sound very convincing. Why not say that you MUSTN'T (try to) look at porn (moderatly)? UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES! It's not that I don't believe in change. I rather think that "once an addict always an addict" is a blunt generalization. BUT if a former addict thinks about "moderately" using again, I hear the addiction talking.

    I think moderate use is only good for someone who's using excessively. From excessively to moderate is an achievement!
    Of course, there are also guys who consume porn in moderation and they seem to have no problem with it. For all I care they can do what they want. I can't neither support nor condemn it. But for someone who has gone through the dessert of addiction and the valleys of recovery - why in the world should they want to return? Why repeat?
     
    Kiz Whalifa likes this.
  9. Koloz

    Koloz Fapstronaut

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    remind myself of the benefits
     
  10. Awedouble

    Awedouble Fapstronaut

    Maybe it hasn't been looked at from this perspective yet: What about the large number of people who do continue to have an issue with it? Isn't that a ton of evidence for not going back to it? There seems to be people of all different ages, education levels etc.
     
  11. Infrasapiens

    Infrasapiens Fapstronaut

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    I have a friend. He is a pornography addict with no shame about it. He download the thing like no tomorrow. When I have urges I imagine his face looking at his precious pornography and sudently all my urges are gone along with my apetite.
     
    ZenAF and TimeToQuitNow like this.

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